STFU (Shut the F*** UP)

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    my husband got like that one time, and I tried hard to see his feelings through his eyes.....it helped me to understand so much better what he was going through......work 40 or more hours, snd the paycheck doesn't always cover what it needs too......6 kids.......hand me downs.......them feeling like they are always swimming upstream against the current, getting nowhere, yet busting his ass.....it is not easy........not poor, but making just a little too much for the "government goodies", not rich enough to enjoy the so called "good life"

    Hugs

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  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited December 2013

    He keeps it from me so I won't worry, but i finally got him to actually say what is wrong. He still tries to do everything by himself and doesn't confide in anyone. I told him to find someone to talk to if not me and said," yeah, make another bill we can't pay for."  I said friends don't cost money. With all the church friends he can't find one to talk to.  Very sad. I'm trying to be strong, but just keep crying. Im in the bathroom typing this because im. So full of emotion. 

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    Aaawwww........so sad....men are proud...not like us...we share our feelings.....they can't always do that......and Psych's are not the answer...

    At least you got him to open ip a little......maybe its a beginning.........

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  • 4sewwhat
    4sewwhat Member Posts: 2,093
    edited December 2013

    Cami is about to hit 10,000 posts. S.T.F.U.!!!

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited December 2013

    Gma, sorry you & DH are hitting a rough patch, or what what feels like full speed into a f@:%*?g wall. I hope your kids will lighten the mood for you two next week. $ worries are so stressful. I feel so spoiled that I was able to take this school year off, from work for my b/c tx..

    4seeeLynne, since I have done little, basically none for my family, going to the stinkin mall with kids sounds like fun. A pretzel, people watching. I live in a small town so not so entertaining.

    Ducky & Chevy, I am learning a lot from you two on Italian families and fish for Xmas...I have lived a sheltered life...boring..ham or steak.. I can not imagine cutting up a squid, looking at them freaks me out

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    hey....and you watch  you....the stress is not helping you either........just keep coming here....some of these ladies are great comforters.....I always found love here.....except recently, but I'm dealing with it ok......

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited December 2013

    Oh Foley I'm sorry--Men don't like to talk to other men either unless they are in the same position as them (I think) men are a strange bunch  of non-confiders--like Ducky said u did get a little going on, the problem to him is that there is no solution, otherwise there would not be one and I think as we get older it's worse, when u'r younger it's more like oh it'll be OK, but when u'r older it's Is this all there is? And it never seems fair. A lot of men go thru this at certain times but for different reasons, But I think Finances are a big one. And u've had so many problems this last yr, I'm sure this adds to all of the sadness. Wow I wish we could all help, but all we can do is be here for u. And pray that he can get thru this.

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    After 8 hours of cookies yesterday today is not a good one.....sitting down between doing things today, and there is more to do tomorrow,

    What scares me is not geing able to function when I have to xmas eve......over 30 people...all family, and its just my kids, but it adds up when the family grows........

    I have spinal lumbar stenosis, and arthritis from a severe fall back in 89, plus the 2 broken vertabrae...oh did I forget the bad left knee..........LOL.......but I will not give up xmas eve.....if I do, it ends with me......my 6 will never keep the tradition of being together......so when my heart stops so does this 56 year old tradition........sad isn't it.....

    So I took time out from cleaning, the hovel, and rearranging the dirt to talk to my good friends.......warm here today, very warm, but off and on rain......just looked at my LE arm......not looking good......oh boy....serves me right....no sleeve, no water, and too much use........oh well....shit happens.........damn I am a complainer....just read this post back......LOL

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited December 2013

    Grammie.... Just don't cry..... Don't do it anymore.  If he knows, or sees you, it makes it worse for both of you. 

    I know you both hurt....  Why don't you ask him WHAT can I cook for you, that you love?  Or maybe you already know!

    Make him his favorite cake, or like this morning, I baked up a package of Marie Callendar's Cheese Bisquits, with Ham and eggs, for his B-Day....  And some of those potato cakes.  Tell him you will wash his back, when he showers!   And when he sits in his recliner, cover him up with a blanket, and watch whatever the hell he wants on TV!   

    I know how it feels to see your DH hurting.  But you have to sympathize, and then pick him up......  Well, don't literally pick him up, because then YOU would fall down, but pick his spirits up!  Winking

    And Ducky, thanks again for the 7 Fishes origin!  I copied and pasted it to send to my Daughter, because SHE does the same thing.... Every Christmas Eve!    She said she remembers when WE did it, so she has to do it also.  

    I just bought the fixin's for Lasagna, to add to Christmas Brunch, with our other Daughter.... along with Eggs Benedict...  WITH the Ham.... 

    I'm not even Italian, but I learned to cook like the best of them....   I think once you learn to cook, and learn to LIKE it, it stays with you forever! 

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    Glad to share the 7 fishes story......goes back years and years......nice idea, but it took till Easter to get the fish smell out of the house......LOL

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  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited December 2013

    GmaFoley, Might he talk to your pastor if he brought it up first? Just acknowledging how hard it can be when the money is scarce and your loved one is hurting might help him feel a little better.

    4, great light show, but I'm so glad I don't live across the street. My neighbor plays carols all day long and the construction site 3 houses away must put the truck in reverse and keep the motor running all day (beep...beep...beep). 

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited December 2013

    Oh Chevy please I'm 100% Italian and cooked all my life like that, now I barely remember anything. But I do know how everything should taste. Oh 7 fish, we did raw fish before it became popular, and ducky u'r right the smell lasted forever those days, we had those small spaces between houses and everyone in the neighborhood would be making fish. But I think everything was better those day, I mean the fish were from cleaner waters and the veggies from the market were always fresh and not treated, each little store had it's own specialty and of course the strawberry man. And Ducky I think u'r right tradition fades sometimes and it's sad.I'm sure it's very difficult to keep this up now, u have to be more than just tired, I could never do what u are doing. Try to rest when u can with u'r legs up and something for u'r back.

    Wren u'r neighbor plays Carols all day--OMG as much as I like them I don't think I'd like a whole day of them, every day.

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited December 2013

    Ah, I remember going to that little Italian market.... Cerrone's.... And you would reach right in a wooden barrel and take out your own pickle!    And they scooped up their own Ricotta cheese....  and made their own sausage!   Even the STORE smelled good....  Old wooden floors that creaked when you walked.... and they knew all those old Italians by name....   And did you soak your own Cod?  And Lupine beans?  My Aunt married an Italian, and those beans soaked for days in a bucket in the bath-tub.

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited December 2013

    Chevy I always loved lupines--we used to have  man walking the streets with his cart selling lupines an chichi beans--I don't know what their called I tried to spell it in English??? but we always had them soaking and then put red pepper on them and after everyone had plenty of gas.

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    it was Chee chi dee's.....remember them well.......

    How much crap fell into that pickle barrel.......LMAO thinking about it......that and the sauetkraut barrel in the German deli down the street from my house....

    Your right Cami....things were cleaner and fresher back then...fish right of the boat from sparkling waters, and veggies from the farm...to the huckster truck...to your door.......good ole days......

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited December 2013

    Chick Pea!  An Italian name for a Cha-chi bean.... or Garbanzo bean.....  I had to look it up.... I LOVE Hummus, with red -peppers!   They ARE good plain.... How did you fix them?   So I'll bet you liked those big old Lima beans?  I just like Pinto, and Navy beans... 

    Yes, and the Sauer- Kraut!  Our old neighbor used to make her own Sauer-kraut in her back yard, in a big old crock!  It was really good, too!    They grew the Cabbage, then made the Kraut

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    with tomato gravy, and pasta......on. friday....when wr could not eat meat

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  • Shellshine
    Shellshine Member Posts: 1,039
    edited December 2013

    I'm not cooking this Christmas - taking a break, I'll just drool over all the goodies my hoolies are making.

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited December 2013

    Ducky that's it, we used to just eat them like popcorn. I like them now too.

    Shell we're talking about so much food, some of which we haven't had in yrs and yrs. And I remember the no meat Fridays. but it seemed like we had a lot to pick from, but when I moved to the suburbs all the kids brought to lunch was PB&J---I would have, eggplant, pepper and eggs, peppers and tomatoes,all on homemade bread and they had Wonderbread--not many Italians at first in my neighborhood. The first time someone waned to taste my lunch from then on everyone wanted to trade on Fridays--Never LOL 

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    oh my peppers and eggs....yum, and the more olive oil the better..we use to make potatoes and eggs, onions and eggs, and asparagus and eggs......

    Anyone ever make string beans and potatoes, or or Pasta and peas...we would say "past and peas"..pronounced with a long A....like paaaaaast and peas...but my favorite of all....spaghetti and crabs.....oh I can taste it now..................also Polenta and gravy.....we also steamed eggplant...got it soft, mixed it like you were making meatballs with eggs, cheese,bread crumbs salt pepper, fry it lightly and put it in a marinara sauce....wow...talk about good.

    We ate like kings for pennies......good times

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited December 2013

    Ducky we had everyone of those things, if u go to a restaurant now and order it, it's a lot of $$$$ and u'r right it was all penny food then and so good. Did u have calzone and onion pie for the holidays too?

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  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited December 2013

    image

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    GMA.......THANKS.......LOVE MY GIFT........HUGS BACK TO YOU....

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    Cam.....my mIL made it.......so good......she was a great cook....

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  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 5,065
    edited December 2013


    And a hug back to you!

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  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 2,280
    edited December 2013

    Back atcha gma!!!!

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited December 2013

    since we're giving hugs.........here is one for you Mary, Mary........and Chabba too.......

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  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 5,065
    edited December 2013

    Thank you Ducky, and one from me to you.

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  • juliaanna
    juliaanna Member Posts: 1,043
    edited December 2013

    Thank you Gma.  Hope you are doing okay.

    Hugs back to each of you!!

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  • Di2012
    Di2012 Member Posts: 925
    edited December 2013

    Wishing hugs and Holiday wishes to all!

    This is my smallest boston when she was 8 days old (4 years ago)....all 3.5 oz....she now is a BIG 9lbs:

    image

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