STFU (Shut the F*** UP)

juliaanna

Marywiththelumpypit, sorry to hear your week was so cruddy. Hope the pit problem resolves by Monday. Sending you positive thoughts.

Don't worry about not knowing what we are talking about-I'm not sure any of us really know!

blondiex46

lurking but ok

blondiex46

Jules....so happy for you, hope you are feeling ok!!!

Shellshine

Mary - NONE of us knows all that's happening on this thread half the time - that's one of the reasons why it's so fun!   Please keep us updated on whether you'll need a bx.

Lurk away, Blondiee - as long as you make a peep now and again I'm happy.

Anonymous

I'm lurking behind our beautiful Blondie. Chemo sux....something.

sas-schatzi

Veggy OMG "I love frying my potatoes in bacon grease with a little onion and garlic." Heaven. The American Heart Association cut into the fun of eating 30 plus years ago. Howcome so many of my elders lived to be so old on this diet?(Mom's side)

Cami--blush don't need lube. And it's even easier in the pool. and lots of fun. So yes DDBF has his faults, but there are certain advantages that I'm learning for the first time in my life. OH MY how indelicate

Chichiesosweet "I must have chemo brain big time......totally lost you Hoolies in the last 2 pages..Miss Cam is a virgin again using bacon grease?   Lol"    Yes it's the new rav!

Veggy "I don't like to fry my potatoes in virgin olive oil. Bacon grease gives them better flavor." Apparently, Cami's choice in the bacon is Chandler dancing on everything with a certain move.

Chevywhonevermissesanythinghasmissedsomething  which direction were those splits? Btw does it have anything to do with telling phillysopure to sit on someone's lap and see what came up?

Shellshiner "Cuckoo's Nest" Jack Nickolson would love to try bacon grease and him.

Maryhurtsobadinthearmpit    UHMMMMMMMMM, UHMMMMMMMMM meditating "let the antibx work, let the antibx work..........

Juliaana, I know what we are talking about. Ahhah first time in eons, I'm up with the reading and it's pretty lubed.

Blondielurkinginthewings Imagine the best time ever and meditate on that for the evening:)

Phyllissstillnotfeelingsogoodsosad  but the farmers market is tomorrow and you get to gussy up and have a nice visit

Me had a nice swim.

ChickaD

Miss Phyllocracker agree ...chemo sux....something. ..my tummy hurts

juliaanna

Chicklet and miss phyllo, hope you feel better soon. Chemo needs to go suck rocks and treat you better.



Blondie, take care and thanks.

mostlymom

Almost 2 wks since being neutered and I seem to be doing ok.  I'll see the surgeon next Thursday but I don't expect any surprises.  I've already gotten a clear pathology report which made me breathe a sigh of relief.  I've had a few twinges but nothing painful.  I'm sure glad of the laparoscopic surgery method.  I was brought up short when I asked if the surgery had been pre-approved by my insurance since it was "elective" surgery and I was told it wasn't elective....  I didn't realize how serious this surgery was until then.

I check out this site daily even though I don't write often, I find it comforting to read how everyone is doing and I feel close to my BC family.

Chevyboy

Morning gals.  Finally came morning.  Do you ever get so pissed that you can't sleep, and finally when you GET there, you wake up again, and your mind is going crazy again? 

Shells, and a lot of you gals will just KNOW that feeling.  And there's only a few things I can do about it.   I think I'll just say "I'm not going to be around you at night....  So if you keep drinking when you get home from your bar, I'll take Lacee and leave you, and not come home until you are in bed." 

If I can say it without crying, it's even better...  And it will work...... for awhile.   Just like with Mom.   But only for awhile.

So gals.... I'll be back later....  Love you all.... xoxoxo

marywh

Oh Chev, I remeber those days...but my kids were really little so I had to stay around, or drive them around in the car all night. Im sorry...No words of wisdom from me...and you've heard it all anyway...hugs to you.....

camillegal

Good Morning my lubricated friends--Sas knew excatly what it is used for and u all can use u'r imagination for a sexual act. all I did was give the info--I;s sure they didn;t use ham lube before but not it's Kosher,

And yea bacon grease is good to fry potatoes in. Years ago did u'r moms save grease in the fridge from frying sausage and then use that for certain food. Everyone had a container of grease. LOL

Oh the party was wonderful the fireworks last a good 45 minutets and we were within the size of a football fiend were the boats were and we were on the porch and alot were at the lake so closer. As litterally heart punding that it was it's like lokking and feeling of a beautiful celebration of life. Fantastic and soooo much food and desserts naturally too much. and of course I'm going to brag Joey had all the ladies charmed--he kept on checking on me and kissing me each time and wanted to get my food and I told him to relax and enjoy himself and he and my cousin made hot chocolate right before the firewirks nd made a cup especially for me and brought it to me then some other people wanted some and it was delisious--The actually made it on the stove so it was kind of oldfashiony. One of my Gf's was cracking up at everthing he was saying (not in front of him) and Joey can't believe how old everyone is cuz they really look good --unfortunately the last hr, my pain was getting worse by the time we left I wanted to screm my sister gave me some pain meds and my once cousin got me to the care, i could barely walk--I didn't feel funny with my friends cuz they know, but other people I felt stupid with everyone asking what was wrong and my cousin Joanne just said it's so complicated. Which means STFU so everone let it go.  My GF drak a bottle of wine so she was looped all the way home==funny but it was cold I had a jacket on and a blanket around me, most od the old women did hahaha00So that was my afternoon and night got home close to midnite.I was tired, Joey too. My GF's and i are going out to dinner Monday night  so we can gossp about people at the party too. Another GF is in from FL. so we'll meet her.So I'm going on and on cuz i go out he least and it was worth everybit of pain I had,Today I can barely move--Good thing I don't have a DH or he's want to talk or do something--I'm in the house for the day.

I hope everyone is feeling a bit better and enjoy Sunday too. No work for most and a day for Thanksgiving,

IllinoisLady

Just checking in to say hi......and especially glad that i don't have to feel bad about not keeping up here.  Chevy, a million hugs dear friend.  As Olivia Dukakis would say...." you know I love you more than I love my luggage ". 

Lilly

sas-schatzi

Chevy,Why don't you do what Shells did. It straightened him up. There's no reason you should leave. But if H was put out. Had to fend for himself. Be in a shelter. What would happen. Do you think he would get it? Would it matter to him.? Would an intervention with the kids involved work? Their eyes aren't closed to the situation. Sorry this is happening XOXO sassy

StaceyLeeH

Morning beautiful ladies... Feeling pretty good a little nervous my first day of radiation is on Monday. Austin is feeling better, poor baby those teeth are getting the best of him some days. I am so blessed I don't know what I would have done without him! Austin is my life line,he really keeps me positive and moving forward.



Blondie, phgraham, and chickaD praying you feel better. Chemo sucks so bad!!! You all are amazing!!! You can do it!!!



Mostlymom you crack me up... Neutered glad your pathology was clear!!! Doing the happy dance.



Wanted to ask everyone's opinion on a sensitive situation. My husbands parents are wonderful they watch Austin while I am at work one day a week and then I work on the weekend one day. So we were all eating dinner and my husband asked them if they would be willing to watch Austin twice a week so I could pick up an additional shift. They said they could once a month (which doesn't really help). Then proposed we use daycare. So I tried to explain after I get through treatment we would definitely be looking at that. However while I am still going through treatment that is not an option. I felt so upset I felt like I was begging for help. Which for me it is hard to do anyways. I felt like geeez we have enough on our plate WTF.... Trying to help pay some of these medical bills down. Sorry long story but they are retired I am not asking them to do this for years just while we are struggling and I am going through treatment. Am I asking too much? Then when I was really mad about the situation I thought if I died tomorrow would they even help there own son and grandson??



Sweet Pea

Anonymous

Sweetpee, I'm sorry that this is so hard with your inlaws. Maybe they're being buttheads but maybe there's a reason they can't or won't help more, that they haven't shared. And maybe they won't share because of your situation, if theirs is a health problem.



You asked politely and they offered what they can do. Maybe it's a good thing that you could have the conversation. And after all, they are helping. Do you have a plan B? Other than sending him to me, I mean.



Sheesh, who woke up my Pollyanna nerve today?!



Or, they might be buttheads! Let me know if you want me and some of my prison buds to work on them.

ChickaD

Miss SweetPea....ugh on inlaws....I totatally get t

he struggling thing....been without paycheck since March and money is getting really tight...is so hard to ask for help and then when you do sometimes you get shot down....no great advice..just a lot of understanding and hugs♥

camillegal

Oh sweet pea I'm sorry u feel so bad and something doesn't seem right. I mean they have helped so there might be a reason cuz why woudn't they?? I hate to with Phyloankletlady but maybe u should have a heart to hear talk or maybe u'r DH sould do it--After all this is their grandson and normally gradparents love a couple of time a week to be with them. Try to see if there is an answer, try to wait to feel bad until u get a whole story. I would personaly.

marywh

Sweet Pea, that is such a difficult position to be in for you. When my daughter went back to work full time, We helped her out by paying for that extra day at daycare for her. Maybe your dh could ask them about that? After all it is only temporary. Another thought would be to check into your local social services. I know nc has a program that helps struggling parents with the cost of daycare, maybe that would be an option?

Shellshine

I have written three times to comfort those reeling from chemo, financial worries, idiot husband, pain and fatigue..... and everything I wrote felt like platitudes. 

SP: Get through radiation and don't worry about the bills. Make a plan for getting back in financial shape after treatment and be at peace with it. Yes, I know, it's hard watching the bills rack up, but let it go and get the important work done first. Your baby's first years will speed by so fast - enjoy your blessings during this challenging time. Many years from now I want you to be able to look back and say "I have no regrets with how I lived my life."

Chevy - I'm PMing you. 

Phylly, Chickie, and Blondie, rooting you on - weather the chemo and get your mojo back.

Mary, please let us know how your painful lump is.

Cammi - you are an inspiration.

Hooliehugs,

Michelle

Chevyboy

Thank you little Shells.... I answered..... But WTH is/are platitudes?   

And thanks Mary.....  Seems like everything gets better with time.... right?  Just give it a day..... along with a few choice words, and it helps.  A prayer here and there also does wonders....

Sweet Pea.....  I remember so well watching my Grand-sons....  I LOVED it!  But you know, sometimes, SOME people only watch kids when they "have" to!  They have that feeling that the kids are good, but it's better when they go home.  I used to go pick up "my boys" from the Sitters, after work, or I would get them on my days off, because I only worked part time.... But you and I are different....  Some Grandparents are just that in name, and don't want the bother.   I remember they used to cry when Mom and Dad would pick them up.... 

Just figure something out.... You can't change them.... and you can't make them feel like they "should.".....   Just "know" that they are not like you.  My MIL never took my girls when they were little even to a park!  Or for a walk, or even just to lunch!   But they loved her just the same. 

So it's just you that feels bad..... and I understand.

Thinking of you Phyllidink, Sass and Chickers! xoxoxoox

sas-schatzi

Sweetpea though Phyllythinksyourdiabeticasinsweetpee, all have given you real pearls of information to work with. Cami's "try to wait to feel bad until u get a whole story"(wish I had that as a mantra my whole life!). I agree with all. Have your husband talk with them. If your there it will change the dynamic. When DH & Parents talk, it may get a little warm ah.. heated. You don't need to see/hear/and I recommend you never talk of it. Dh can forgive what may be said with his parents b/c we just do that. You though would have greater trouble forgiving & forgetting.  If you don't talk of what negatives were said, it won't gnaw at you.

Have him practice counter responses with you, of all the different possibilities that they could come up with for not helping. This will allow him to control the conversation when they talk. It will keep them on topic. It will also allow him to not get emotional. Think of it as preparing for going into court.

A real possibility is they are overwhelmed by the one day. That will be the thoughest to get by. But as you say IT is not for ever. If you can work it out with your boss that you are NOT on two consecutive days that might help. It would give them a day to rest. Before DH has the TALK, check with your boss on the feasibility of this.

Gently reminding them that in the future the tables will be turned and they will need help. Aging is inevitable. Everyday they are getting older. Adult children are the biggest source of care for elder parents. There needs may be for a couple of decades. You are asking for X weeks. The phrase for a couple of decades has been the "Sandwich Generation". Adult children taking care of their children and their parents.

Call when you or DH has time to go through needy.meds.org with me, the web site has so much to offer. It IS NOT easy to nagivate. Should take about twenty to thirty minutes.

Check with Church, your hospitals Foundation(they all have one), BC organization in your county, your social worker/case manager through your cancer center and insurance company. Also, check re: money resources  with each.  Our social worker gave us a phone number of an Foundation that only covered two counties. We each got 2000.00$. This foundation designated that the money could only be used for nonmedical stuff. Duh , we paid county taxes, utilities, groceries all kinds of stuff. This type of foundation may not be known b/c of limited scope of area. That's why it's so important to talk to a local social worker. Needymeds.org covers more national organization and foundations.

Suggest you read through Cami's/Phylly's/Mary's responses a few times. I picked up more pearls with each reading and it caused me to think of more stuff too. L&H&P's sassy

sas-schatzi

Cami, I'm going out to dinner, I will work on your thing after dinner. It will be done tonight for sure. :)L&H&P's sassy

Spookiesmom

Shells!!!!!!!

Batten down your house and stay safe!!!!!!!

marywh

Why? Have I missed something?

marywh

Sweet Pea,Im like Sas and the more I think about it the more I have to say.When Dd had just seperated from her husband, I kept Jordan 1 day aweek, Dh was home most of the time, but for 2 middle aged, or maybe older grandparents to keep a baby is exhausting. When DD went back to work full time I knew I couldnt do it. I was still feeling good at that point and hadnt found my reccurrance yet.Thats when I offered to pay for the day at daycare. Now, at 3 its even tougher, I can only handle him a few hours at a time.

Shellshine

Thanks Spookiesmom.

Tropical Storm Flossie was downgraded from a hurricane, it's mainly expected to affect the Big Island. Here it will be wind gusts to 40 - 50 MPH not a problem but I should probably get off my butt and clean up outside a little. I bought about 4 gallons of drinking water and we have a gas stove. Our main problem is the power going out, so if you don't hear from me it means our internet is down. I've  got an iPhone, but I'm glad you got me to thinking about this Smom - we need to fill up our gas tanks and charge up our phones, batteries and laptops.

It is so sunny and beautiful - hard to believe it will be storming tomorrow night!! 

marywh

Oh I didnt know there was a storm. 50 miles an hour is enough for me..Ive been through 1 hurricane and never want to do that again. That was Hugo in 89 that came up through Charlotte, nobody really thought would come here so we were all so unprepared...scary stuff, Ive hated storms ever since...

Shellshine

I edited my last post Mary.

marywh

I was thinking about Oahu all day today..Dh and I were there 4 years ago. Its my favorite place in the world. I love the North Shore. We rented a car and just drove around the whole time, kind of stayed away from the touristy places, although we did stay in Waikiki, but down near the zoo where it wasnt quite so crazy. We only went out at night. It was beautiful at night, and the shopping-dont even get me started...