My mom...

manysunshine

Hello.  My mom is 55 and I am 27.  Two years ago she found a lump in her breast and she didn't do anything about it until this February when she got a mastectomy.  Two months ago she found the cancer has spread all over her bones and liver, and now she is on taxol and herceptin.  I can't believe things have changed so quickly.  Only a few months ago she was vibrant and energetic, and now she is bed-ridden and in constant pain.  I tell myself this must all be a dream, that I will wake up from this nightmare everything will be okay again.  The worst part is that I cannot seem to do anything to help.  I am angry at this disease; I am angry that there isn't a cure yet; I am angry at the ridiculous price tags attached to drugs by the whole cancer industry.  Today the onc told me that the treatments for stage 4 breast cancer are palliative at best; finding a cure is unlikely.  I knew this all along, but hearing it said out loud hurts so much.  I just don't know what to do.  I am sad, worried, terrified, angry, isolated, guilty and sometimes resentful, and these emotions take turn haunting me each day. I try my best to be up-beat and cheerful for mom though.  Thanks for letting me vent.  Take care, everyone.

J9W

I so remember being in your shoes. My mom's cancer was vicious and ugly - and she was in pain too. I was and am so greatful that I got to spend weeks with her at the end. When you get a chance, cry, cry, cry and cry some more - it really does help...at least a bit, you get to release some stress. I hate that anyone has to go through this. Cyber hugs.

mandapanda

I understand! I just turned 30 and lost my mom this past August. She was 54! I could have wrote exactly what you wrote. I'm so mad at cancer! I hate ribbons, pink, and anything relayed to cancer. I use to be involved in the American cancer society but now I'm pissed and hate it. I hate that cancer took my mom, my kids grandma, and my best friend. She was so full of life and would always say how much she loved her life. She was happy up until her last month. But I'm glad I got to be her main care giver and was able to share everything I had to before she passed. I will cherish those talks. I hope you can find peace and your mom gets some comfort. Message me anytime u need to vent or talk.