DIEP 2013
Comments
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So here we are all trying to chicken out, are we? Me, too. For potential logistical reasons, believe it or not.
I just had a small "discussion" on how this will work when I come home and essentially I become one of the kids - needing help with this, not able to do that. Needless to say, the "discussion" didn't go well. I was told that my husband would be staying home exclusively for me. No Blackberry. No conference calls. Yes, I did check to make sure I took the right meds this morning and not the ones that make you loopy. He said that. NO BLACKBERRY. He also told me that having a "discussion" about this before he has done anything wrong is premature. I told him that having the "discussion" now is better than having the "discussion" at the time he does do something wrong - like take an hour+ long call. (Side bar: we met in law school but I stay with the kids now because who wants to spend all day with lawyers when you sleep with one at night?) You should know that he has been here for me the entire way on this detour . . . nearly every appt was made except for a couple where he covered the kids instead.
Can anyone in 1000 words or less tell me what life is going to be like for me when I get home after 3 or 4 nights in the hospital? The real world. Am I going to be dependent on my husband for everything? The doctor told me the following about the most important factors in my world and you tell me if he is full of crap, OK?
1) I can drive as soon as I am off narcotics? Really?
2) I will be doing my normal routine pretty much when I come home except for the drains, the restrictions, and being exhausted? I took this to mean that I would be able to make a sandwich and read the same page of a book between naps? Is sandwich-making too ambitious? I also figured I would just park the TV on HGTV. What can I say, I like Income Property and Scott McGillavry.
You should know that I am in pretty good shape for having three kids - and a set of identical twins to boot. I worked at it - so I can brag. I am also a very good healer. I also am the most stubborn person when it comes to personal goals. So if I am supposed to get up and sit in a chair on Day 2 (the doctor said this) - I will sit in that damn chair until it molds to my bum. If I am supposed to walk on Day 3 (the doctor said this, too) - I will walk until they make me stop. In short, if challenged I will kill myself trying. Hell, I learned how to ice skate at age 42 because my kids and husband made fun of me for not being able to . . .and that was insane . . .
So before I chicken out because I am suspicious of the Blackberry. . . tell me what to expect. And I will rally all my mom friends and the cleaning lady we just hired back when I did chemo.
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HHCats... You can walk around the block, you can make a sandwich (but can't reach for a plate), you can turn on the washing machine (but can't carry the laundry), you can shower, dress and do your own drains (but pace yourself.. it is absolutely exhausting). I drove at 2 weeks post op (had a pillow padding the seatbelt). So to answer your question, there are definitely things you can do... Just go slow, don't lift anything and baby yourself. I hired a cleaning lady and friends brought dinners over.
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Definitely all doable Hhcats, just make sure you dont overdo things and be prepared to tire easily. As a mom, I'd imagine there are a lot of things that you do without thinking about it...just be careful and take it easy. I avoided doing stuff like moving things or picking things up the the hubby typically leaves strewn around the house. My surgery was Friday and I was home on Monday afternoon. Made the nurse give me a shower prior to discharge. Was able to move around the house, up and down stairs and go to restroom and wipe myself no problem. Showered three days later, had hubby help me with my hair washing but did everything else myself. I was surprised that I was so tired after the shower. Sandwich making definite can be done, just make sure your cups for drinks and plates are not on a shelf that's too high so you can reach it. Walked around the neighborhood the day after I came home without assistance either. Hubby worked two weeks at home and left his instant messenger on the computer if I needed him for anything (or to yell hah). I didn't need him because I was either stuck on HGTV or Downton Abbey.
didn't ask the PS until my followup at 2.5 weeks about driving, and he gave me a funny look... Uh, yeah...as long as you're off the narcotics. Me: hand over the keys hubby I'm driving home! Ok, I might be over 1,000 words by now.... -
Hhcats, I feel the same way you do. I expressed this to my hubby and just to prove me wrong he cleaned the bathrooms, mopped the floors and did the laundry yesterday!! What?! You knew how to do all that and I've been doing it for the past 12 years?!
I think you're afraid of not being able to do what you need to take care if yourself. I hate asking for help and I'm a control freak. I like to make my meals because I like the way I do it! I don't want to ask my husband to give me a plate because I can't reach it. I will get it one way or another by myself. I will put the laundry in the basket and kick it to the bedroom where I will fold the clothes. I broke my back in a car accident when I was 20 and the doctors told me to start walking by taking small steps and short distances. I got out of the hospital bed and started to race down the halls. The nurses were so mad at me, and I told them I was going to be walking normal even if I was dying from pain. I wasn't going to let a back fracture keep me down. Docs said I would need back surgery and I proved them that I would be able to live a normal life without surgery. Does it hurt at times? Sure! But I keep going!
That's how I'm starting to see this surgery. And don't get me wrong, I'm terrified! But I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time and be strong. I'm very competitive, so if somebody tells me is going to take 6 weeks to be back to normal I'm going to do anything in power to take only 3 weeks. I think is ok to push yourself, but also know when to stop and take a break.
And why is it that you can lift your arms? I thought you just couldn't lift weight? -
Thanks Betsy, I'll think support then.
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Nihahi-- owwwieee, how are you now? Are you okay after that fall? (Hugs)!!
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bdavis, cuetang, and kuka - thank you for your posts. You all made me feel so much better.
I know I can do this and my husband is really good about helping around the house anyway. But the Blackberry drives me crazy on a good day (today was one of those days - all day on it and then on conference calls, too - my kids were wrecked because they think rightly so that the weekends are their time).
Good information about putting things where I can reach them, too. I'm only 5'4" and our shelves are pretty high! I really understand about pacing yourself and how exhausting it can be. I really think the only reason why I did so well with chemo was because I just spent a lot of time in bed with the cat watching HGTV and Downton Abbey (OMG - I am so hooked now! - I have all the Upstairs Downstairs DVDs compliments of a friend to watch while I recover from surgery.) I would take the kids to school and come home and go to back to bed. I already have the cleaning lady in place and since she used to be a part-time nanny for my kids, too, she loves watching the kids for us. So I have help that way. I also have an army of moms at my kids' school who all want to help with kids, food, etc. And I am a pretty tough cookie - I have that on my side, too.
I'm realizing I might have to allow the Blackberry now. After the first week. Or maybe the second. He has to work sometime. . .
Thank you all so much. I feel so much calmer.
And yes, Nihahi - are you OK? This is what we get for living in Canada (although I am from Ohio)! This winter will never end.
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HH and Kuka- I don't have much to add to the discussion, except that you will be surprised how fast the time goes by-seriously! I don't know if it was the drugs (I doubt it, because I was off by the end of week2)-but the time really does seem to fly. You both sound amazingly fit, and fiesty-you will be fine! Just remember to let go of trying to control everything and everybody (hard to do when you have young kids, I know), and just controlling the things you actually can....
Namaste and God bless - Jackie
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I'm not trying to be a rain cloud here, so please take this as intended--truly trying to help a fellow sister by sharing my story. This is NOT a surgery to try to race to recovery. There are so many delicate moving parts to this surgery, we need to heed all the warnings doctors give us. Do not lift more than 10 pounds and do not raise your arms above shoulder level for at least three weeks.
Fo those that don't know my story, I had DIEP at UNC last March. Unfortunately, my right flap did not survive the surgery and I woke up (18 hours later) with only my left breast reconstructed. In my efforts to bounce back and move on, I was really pushing myself with range of motion exercises. Well, 10 days later I lost my left flap. The doctors have no idea what went wrong with the left side; it's very unusual to lose a flap after the first 3 days or so. The only thing they can point to was that the day before I was really working on stretching over my head. Foolishly, I was worried about "frozen shoulder" and was working to avoid it. The doc thinks I may have "kinked" the vessels by doing this. We'll never know for sure, but please be on the safe side and take it EASY!
All turned out great for me--I was able to go to NOLA and they worked their miracles on me. I am beyond blessed that it was an option. No other doctor would even consider anything but a lat flap for me. Dr. Dellacroce didnt even bat an eye at the challenge! It has been a very long year, and there are certainly some things I would do differently if I could.
My situation is rare, so please don't let me add unnecessary fear to anyone. Just be careful and take it easy through your healing. Don't put yourself in a plastic bubble, but we've got long lives in front of us!! A month or so laying low is not the worst thing to endure. -
Sharon, you made me feel so much better about Stage 2.....I go in to see my PS May 1, and I am sure that is what we will be talking about! Maybe I can get it out of the way before summer kicks into high gear! Yay! So happy all went well for you!
Namaste and God Bless - Jackie
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HHCats - I'm glad you had your discussion with your husband so he is more aware that you are going to need help with yourself and the family. The first week you will probably be a bit tough and you will be tired. I pretty much slept most of my first week home. Also, make sure you have things reachable to where you will be parked for the day. Your kids should be able to help you too. Remember it gets better every day. The first week is the worst. Just keep ahead of your pain meds and sleep whenever you can! I set my alarms on my iphone for every time I needed some kind of med. DH also has a chart on a white board so we know what med to give at each time the alarm goes off.
Oh don't forget the Miralax every day three days prior to surgery! and make sure they give you stool softeners in the hospital. When you come home have Miralax once a day and take your stool softeners twice a day!
You probably won't feel like cooking family meals. So either make some meals ahead of time and freeze or plan some meals your husband knows how to cook. It's your time to let others help you. So if your friends and neighbors offer to make meals or drive your kids, let them!!!!
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HHCats & Kuka - you two are going to do just fine. What amazing spirits. As long as you listen to your body - feeling a bit tired, then nap.
Re the arm lifting - many docs don't want you to reach higher than 90 degrees just to baby your breasts for a while or to protect incisions. I was able to wash my hair in the hospital (and after) with no problem.
Your DH may go a bit stir crazy with no BB. Believe it or not, you won't need a lot of tending to. The more you do for yourself, the better you will feel about yourself. As long as he is on top of the kids, food and cleaning you will be fine. Bending to pick up the laundry out of the basket might have to wait a few weeks. I drove at 3 weeks, but felt a bit distracted. Followed up with a 2 hour nap.
Robin & Nihahi - you will be in my thoughts this week. Nihahi, we are both having surgery on the 12th. It will be a wonderful day!
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HH and Kuka-listen to DianneNC...she is right....you want to treat these new girls with the utmost care and respect....I had a situation somewhat similar to hers, in that one of my breast failed just as the Drs were finishing up....I have a very small vascular system and suffered from what they called "Venous Congestion"...where the flap starts to fail due to inadequate blood flow. My PS decided to try and save it, so he had to re-open me and fish out another vein to replace the failing one.....I woke up almost 24 hours later (after an 18 hour surgery). Needless to say, I was very grateful that he was able to save it, but it made me very cautious about trying to rush recovery.... I am not telling you this to frighten you, because my situation was an anomaly, but to help you realize that you don't want to push too hard too fast. I dont think 6 weeks is a hard and fast rule, but I do think you will be wise to not expect much of yourselves before that time. Remember, your body has just gone through a major surgery TWICE in the same day!
Namaste and God Bless - Jackie
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HH & Kuka - I agree with Jackie - listen to Dianne. Be aware and take care!
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Nihahi I didn't have the extra cash to throw at a recliner so here is what I did... I got about 3 standard twin size pillows at target for $5 each just to have some extra. Then I splurged and got dh and I nice fresh new extra firm king size pillows one each. Now here is the best part for about $70 my aunt bought me this giant u shaped pillow from amazon.com I use that with a couple others in bed dh tucks me in at night. I am so much more comfortable here with that pillow than I was with the hospital bed. That being said if I had a power recliner I would greatly benefit from it but a reg one would be tough to self operate at my 5' shorty stature.
First night at home went great I slept really well and dh has been great he helped me to the bathroom and with pain meds on a schedule we created for nighttime hours. I have a little book to write my meds down as I take them so I don't get confused. My visiting nurse came for the first time this am and she was really nice but didn't really do anything that we haven't done already in fact I like when dh strips my drains instead.
I hope everyone is doing great ! -
Faith - glad you are recovering so "uneventfully" at home-that's the very best way! (((Hugs)))
Namaste and God Bless - Jackie
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Ladies, I want to thank each one of you for sharing your breast cancer journey and I am so grateful to have found this DIEP thread. Tomorrow my DH and I are heading to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester to begin a week long schedule of appointments. We live about 3 hours away so I am cramming a lot in with a knee scope, an appointment with a breast surgeon (I decided my other breast is coming off) and on Friday I meet with my PS. I met him several weeks ago to discuss the DIEP procedure and within a few minutes I knew that was the procedure for me and that he was going to do it. I am SO excited because I am now well educated from reading all your posts. Thank you!
I realize I am jumping in the middle of other discussions, but I wanted to introduce myself to this thread because you will be hearing more from me in the near future. Hopefully I will be able to provide as much comfort to others as you've given to me.
Ann -
Ann best way to do it is to jump on in
welcome to the thread it will be a good support avenue for you I hope. Good luck with those appointments !
Thank you Jackie the only obstacle so far really has been the drains..not painful at all really just super annoying and in the way ! -
MartyJ, moviemaniac and Dianne thank you so much for the tips! I'm glad you reminded me that even though I want to put all this behind me I'm going to have to be patient and do it slowly. I've never had any major surgery, so really I'm just a lot of bark now. Sure I was very strong when I broke my back, but I was also 20 years old and had no kids. So, I'm sure I'll take it easy but also glad that somewhere in me I have what it takes to heal!
Nice to meet you Ann, please let us know how your appointments go.
Faith, so happy you had a restful night and that you're recovering with no problems. I'm going to have to check out that u shaped pillow from amazon. Praying that you keep healing with no troubles. -
Welcome Ann.....travel safely tomorrow, hope all your knee scope and other appts. go well. Mayo has a wonderful reputation, so I'm sure you'll be well looked after. Looking forward to hearing more from you as time passes.
Faith....trust me, the power recliner is a rental, that is being partly paid for by my sister as a "get well" thing. She lives in Seattle, and because of work commitments, can't come up like she would like too. $$ is always a factor for us too. If I didn't have shoulder issues, I would probably have tried to manage with pillows and my regular bed too. Sounds like you are a happy gal, back in your own nest!
All the "veterans" have given great advice to the ladies having "I don't know if I can do this" thoughts. That is what makes this thread so special to all of us. Thanks again to everyone for helping those of us in the waiting stage get through it.
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Nihahi my back is much better but how are you? That fall was so poopy for you. When is your surgery again? I put a cold pack on my back and drank alot of wine. Janet M and kuka yes I really wondered before the surgery if I should or should not, and still wonder whether it was the right thing to do but if I hadn't done it I would wonder if that was the right decision. My frankenboobs are so much better than before as far as symetry goes. I the odd pain here and there but feeling pretty normal now. My boobs are giving more pain then tummy but its very little. They just feel sort of outside of me. I never had a recliner or a special bed and have lots of stairs. All in all it wasn't so bad.
My son's friend's mother was just diagnosed with breast cancer , her surgery is fri , we held hands and I told her it would be ok. Its crazy the amount of this that is going around!!
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Dianne and Jackie - thank you for reminding me that this is not a race! I have to be honest, but during chemo - I really liked the fact that I got to curl up with my cat in bed and watch tv or read or nap. I thought why did it take this for me to give myself a break? I'm two weeks out from chemo today and I find myself gravitating back to the bed. Just a little me time with 18-year-old Hobbes - who is an expert at taking care of himself and sleeps at least 18 hours a day just to make sure he's not over-doing it. I'm not saying I'm becoming my cat - I am not that weird - but it is nice to just take a break.
I've already claimed our recliner chair. And this morning I told him about how we have to move some of the stuff in the kitchen down so I can reach it. So I'm taking all this information to heart.
I promise I will not overdo things or rush my recovery. And my husband is pretty adamant when it comes to me taking it easy.
Thank you again for all the information and support. I'm starting to get addicted to these postings!
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Have a good nap, Robin.
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Monday morning, back at work, with only a week to get everything shored up enough to be on my DIEP break. It would be easier to just stand at the door of my office, light a match, and toss it in. Oh, well...
Nihahi, I'm SO SORRY about your phobia regarding legless reptiles. Here in SoCal, we have only one species of venomous legless reptiles, and my DH and I see them quite a lot while we're out mountain biking. In fact, we have a yearly competition. Whoever sees the most wins, and the loser has to pony up for a 90-minute massage at the spa. I won last year with 13. On Sunday's ride, we saw #2 for the year so far! I don't mind seeing them--they're pretty fascinating, really--but I do NOT try to pick them up, tease them, get too close, or have any kind of conversation with them. They're not aggressive in the least. I'm sure they know we're too big to eat!
MartyJ, how cool that your DH is a USAFA grad! I grew up in Colorado Springs and my dad was stationed there--I went to high school on the grounds of the AFA, and my brother graduated in 1976. I really love it there. My sister still lives there, and we visit every once in a while.
Just a week to go for me and the butterflies are getting a bit bigger. And I can't take ibuprofen or naproxen to ease my Femara aches--just tylenol--so I'm creaking around like an ancient druid. I just want to get this over with!
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Pinkheart, thanks for posting the People Mag story about the twins and their shared DIEP experience. What a wonderful thing!
The reporter who's coming along with me says she'll be there the whole time in case I need an emergency abdominal fat donor. What a giver. It's funny...when some people react with "how great you get a free boob job and a tummy tuck" I just want to smack them. Clearly they don't get it. Others, however, who have supported and encouraged and prayed and cooked and helped throughout this long, long journey, understand that this is a joyous and hopeful time, and not just a joke. With reconstructing my mangled chest, I'm announcing to breast cancer that, by God's grace, I'm on the other side, never to look back.
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Hello ladies! I had to share this with everybody. I just called my PS's office, where I've only been once, wanting to talk to the office manager who's doing all of my paper work to see if I could reach out to some of his past patients that went through the same thing. The person who answered said she had just stepped out and that I could live my name for her to call me back. When I said my name she immediately knew who I was and asked me how I was doing. She was my PS's nurse. I couldn't believe she remembered me!! The waiting room was full of people on the day I went. I continued to tell her the reason for my phone call and how I have mixed feelings about the surgery and at times I think I'm chicken out and not going to go through it. She asks me if I would like to talk to the office manager about it since she went through it 1 and 1/2 years ago. Seriously I had no idea!!! I'm waiting for her to call me back and I'm hoping that she will be able to ease my mind. Wow! This is a small world! Maybe she can tell me how to loose the extra pounds too, since they don't seem to be coming off with my diet and exercise!
Robin, I hope you're doing good. Thinking about you😉 -
Hi youll I had phase 2 diep at PRMA last wed.
Dr Arishita lifted and reduced the left boob, contoured thebad or right breast. Oragami niples, dog ears, and thigh lipo. I havebruising on thighs hurts to sit. Not sobad now. Constipation loss ofappetite:-) continue.
I brought letter from my doc for flight. If there is open seat that is better they will bump you up. It neds to say you are okay to fly. Rode infirst class for ist hour flight, thenfor longer got aisle seat near front
I have to wear compression garmet to thighs and abdomin for at least two months he said.
My boobs look like boobs now!
I better get offmy lazy ass and go for walk -
http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/7PITJZ30GMUD/ref=cm_wl_sb_o?reveal=purchased&filter=all&sort=date-added&layout=standard&x=11&y=9
Kuka that's the link for the U shaped pillow -
Robin, you must be having a restful nap right now while your surgeons transform your body. We're all in your pocket. Blessings for a comfortable, event-free recovery! Write when you can!
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Faith, thank you so much. It's going to be between that one and the body wedge cushion. I'm planning in asking my PS which one I should get😄
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