Young, worried, and in denial?

lilady561

Let me start by saying I'm reaching out to these boards for help in getting a diagnosis for myself. I'm a 25 single mom in south florida with no insurance and im lost, desperate, and constantly worried about the "what if" in the back of my mind, do I have breast cancer? I've struggled to find help at low cost in the past 3 years that I'm starting to adapt to denial...that is what scares me.

In 2006 I was referred to a breast surgeon because my gyno at the time found palpable nodules in my right breast after a breast exam because of my complaint of yellow/bloody discharge.  She also found on the films 3 solid tumors...so referred me to the same breast surgeon that was involved with my grandma that passed away from breast cancer. (who mind you caught her cancer late bc of a previous misdiagnosis and had the most aggressive type.)  I saw the breast surgeon he did a biopsy said it "seemed to be benign" but that I should consider surgery to remove the tumors....Now I have no idea why I didnt do it then when i had insurance, I think i maybe went into denial and shock, nevertheless I'm regreting it now... and now IM so LOST dont know how to get help!!!

2009- I had my angel of a son, great pregnancy, then when he was born I started breastfeeding, damn that hurt, no biggie its supposed to hurt. (forget about the tumors)

2 weeks after birth my baby got really sick and had to be hospitalized for 3 days because of vomitting, not eating, and fever. While in the hospital with him, I fell immediately ill, have pictures and it scares me to this day...I was pale as a ghost, couldnt focus, and the worst pain in my chest thought I was having a heart attack...so i left my sick little boy to go down to the lower level...ER.  They said I had the flu. I couldnt take of my son while in the hospital, but he finally got better and we went home. The next day I woke up sicker than before I took my temp it was in the 94s..."what the hell", something is wrong with the thermometer...I take it again its 104...I take it several more times and its up and down...Im thinking im hallucinating, I call 911. They come to my house confirm the thermometer is not broken and rush me to the hospital...When I get there the diagnose me with swine flu and send me home with the medicine...which did not help and I end up in the hospital again....this time they finally put their heads together and confirm severe mastitis....(No wonder my baby got better he wasnt drinking that infection)

But once again...in the back of my mind....was it mastitis or does it link to the bloody pus back in 2006? I have no clue.

2011- I wake up with red itchy rash all over my right breast and sharp shooting pain in my chest  and concerned ask my obgyn to write me up a prescription to get more films done...to my surprise I have 1 more tumor, so now all together 4. Some bigger than golfballs. So he wrote a rx to a breast specialist. Keep in mind I have less of insurance now, Emergency medicaid. I had called the specialist they said they took that insurance but couldnt see me for 3 months....so i scheduled and showed up with my 2 year old and to my shock they said they did NOT take my insurance but If i paid them upfront they would be able to see me.  I told them I did not have a job at the moment, and struggle to get meals on the table at that time, I could not possibly afford it. The receptionist then proceeded to take my films to the back bc she said the dr. could look at it and see if it was an emergency... came back just moments later and said the dr. didnt see an emergency...I was in total shock!!!!!!! These people don't know my history/background and previous surgeon and multiple doctors have said to get them out....I broke down in the parking lot and cried so hard...then my baby started crying only bc I was.  The fear of not knowing kills me...because  my grandma died because a horrible aggressive breast cancer battle at such a young age that took everyone at surprise and I DONT WANT TO BE A REPEAT.

2012- Im experience anxiety of not knowing whats going on, I push it off to the back of my head even though something is telling me to get help.......BUT I DONT KNOW WHO TO TURN  TO??????? I still have redness itchiness and alot of chest pains.....

I want to be here for a long time for my 3 year old he is MY WORLD I want and need help.

Please help me any advice helps.

-lady   (sorry this is so long, but Ive had such bad experiences I feel like giving up but would hate to later find out this is indeed serious)