How can I help

Whattasillygirl

A little over a year ago my mom was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. In the past year she's endured 3 rounds of chemo with 2 different medications. She spent her 40th birthday hiding under a hat and still adjusting to her meds and her new body image. The doctors punctured her lung trying to put in her port. Overall she's just been a Viking and the strongest woman I know. Now her hair had grown back and she's gotten used to the way her chemo makes her feel the day after.



Now the hard part, she informed me last week that her doctors are now talking about a mastectomy and that she's pushing for a double. Yesterday I learned that the doctors have also found an abnormality in the bone marrow in her back and that she's apparently in the past month acquired arthritis throughout her whole body.



As her daughter I want to be there for her but I understand that caring for her during / after a mastectomy is a WHOLE new ball game and I have NO idea what I can do to make her life easier. Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Moderators

Hello Whatasillygirl, and welcome to BCO.

We're sorry that your mother and you are facing this, but there's a wonderful community of support here for you both as you deal with it.

Until members post with their own experiences, you might want to read the Mastectomy section of the main Breastcancer.org site to learn more about what to expect.

Also, reading the month-specific threads here in the Surgery - Before, During and After forum will show your mother and you the real-time experiences of the many, many women who go through mastectomy.

• The Mods

debbie6122

Hi I' am sorry to hear about your mom, she has gone through so much already and now dealing with this. I know this must be so hard for you to see her go through this.  The Mods gave you some great links. A few things I can tell you is she should bring something lose and comfortable to the hospital for when she leaves. She will have drains when she leaves the hospital which she will have to drain herself and monitor the fluid going into the drains,  some women have had home care nurses that came in and helped with that. The drains will ususally come out in a couple of weeks, mine took longer because they kept filling up. If she is in any pain she should let them know so they can give her pain meds.

I don't know if she is a candidate for Breast reconstruction but the links the Mods posted will be helpful. Some women prefer not to have reconstuction, I opted not to. She can get recon during her masectomy or later if she chooses.

In answer to your question about what can you do, you have already seen her go through so much and in my opinion the chemo and was the hardest part for me. but, she will need help with chores around the house, cooking, cleaning etc. You are a wonderful daughter to come here looking  for help for your mom just being there for her and letting her know you care and love her is Key.

Im sure tomorrow others will come along and offer more advice and support I will keep you and your mom in my prayers, please come back and let us know how she is and take care of yourself as well.

Sending love and hugs- Debbie~