Overwhelmed....just need some thoughts now

Ella1

I know I will get to reading all of the postings. Its my nature but today I just need some help understanding some things and am hoping for some of your thoughts.

All I know so far is that I am 46 yo, I have Invasive ductal carcinoma that is high-grade and extensive. It was dedected on mammography then confirmed with biopsy. No other symptoms at all! I also know that it is progesterone and estrogen positive (which I think means it might respond to hormone treatement as well). I have a surgical appnt on Tuesday and know I will learn more then. I haven't see the pathology report yet and I know there will be addditional things which will outline my treatment plan. I definately know I am looking at surgery (which I have never had before) with follow up rad/chemo of some sort. I don't know how invasive.

Here are my questions:

1. How do you tell a 13 yo and an 18 yo both boys (though I will wait until I know more, not in a hurry)

2. Has anyone else out there heard these same words (I am sure there are) and how is it going?

3. What support is out there for my husband.

4. I am quite stubborn but I am reaslitic, that said, I am a psychotherapist and see many many clients, both children and adults. Has anyone else run into this and how did you handle it. I plan to work as much as possible but they will have questions if I start to change, look different. Silly thing, a need for income.

Thanks to any help or guidance...

Jennie93

Yes, I heard almost those exact same words.  Found on routine mammogram, confirmed by biopsy the next day, came as a complete and total shock.  Originally I was told that I would need mastectomy and tamoxifen.  No sign it had spread so wouldn't need anything else.  Well, all that changed after surgery when the pathology report came back with 3 positive lymph nodes (and then later they added one more with a few micro cells).  So now I'm looking at both chemo and radiation.  This has been incredibly tough!  But I am tough and will get through it!  I have 2 kids also, didn't tell them until I knew for sure what it was, then just explained in a very straightforward way.  Like yours, they are old enough to understand what's going on.  My hubby has been great.  I got a book for him called "The Breast Cancer Husband" and it was very helpful.  I have had one chemo so far, nowhere near as bad as I expected, I have not missed a day of work.  Fingers crossed it continues to go well.  You will do great, I'm sure of it!

Omeggo

Ella1, 

Lucikly we live in an era where there is tons of support for you and for family members.  You will see.   

Even though you are a therapist yourself, one thing I did when dx'd was find a therapist who specializes in cancer patients.  She is a 'psycho-oncologist'.  Or maybe she is a 'oncological psychotherapist'.  Whatever the title, it doesn't matter.  My therapist (associated with the cancer center I go to) has been absolutely great as far as my many issues regarding having cancer.  I was one of these health nut type of people, went to the gym a lot, did a lot of great supplements etc.  I knew all along that I was in a high risk group because my mom died of BC when I was a kid.  I thought I'd beaten all odds.  When dx'd, my world turned upside down and, surprise of surprises, I 'found out' that I also have PTSD around my childhood experiences of 'cancer as a family disease',

My story is pretty irrelevant about that, though, in the long run.  Most importantly, my therapist is very skilled at helping me deal with the issues that come up with family, friends, work, treatment, you name it.  I would never have thought how important such a specialization is. 

Bottom line:  Consider such a therapist for yourself during this time, especially since you'll keep working!  I can't emphasize it enough.  It'll help your family, too.

My best to you and see you around the boards.  You WILL be OK.  It isn't easy but we are here for you!

Jennt28

I was diagnosed just a year ago. Found the lump about this exact time last year when I was 46yrs. Turned 47yrs in March this year when I was 1/2 way through chemo...



We have 3 kids aged 21, 19 and 17 years. They have coped well.



BC sucks but we have no choice but to take each day as it comes and try and make the right decisions along the way. I made a wrong decision right at the beginning by not following what my heart told me (mastectomy) and I have now gone back and taken care of that and now feel peace with my decisions.



I maintained my full-time medical research job right through, with some generous accommodations (well, I do work in oncology research so hey had to be pretty understanding!).



Sorry you are here with us... :-/



Jenn

Scottiee1

Omeggo.......good advice.....I also had some therapy at my local cancer hospital. She is a psycho- oncologist and I think it makes a big difference compared to seeing a general psychologist. They are next in line to get what we are going through as they deal with it on a daily basis.

Ella1

Thank you to everyone who has responded. I am amazed to see so much support and hope to be in a position soon provide support as well.  Ella1