How do you cope around your DX time?

MiniMacsMom

So Thursday was the "anniversary" of my Dx.  I had my US/mammogram/biopsy on 10/24 last year and the results on 10/25.  I feel like I am having trouble not re-living those days last year.  Its kind of a weird feeling, not anxious per-se but almost groundhog movie ish.  For each of the major events post DX I remember the day/date clearly and how I was feeling that day.  I try to push it away, acknowledge it  but not think about it, but its making me cranky.  I don't want to think about it, I would rather think about the exciting fact that I am still here doing great.   Does this get better, will next year be easier?  Do you eventually forget so you don't think about "those days".  I would say 95% of the time I do well without anti anxiety meds or anything, so I really don't feel like going on anything like that. 

(sorry if this isn't very coherant- my bf is having triplets who we just found out are coming tomorrow morning at 30.5 weeks, I am tired but wound up excited) 

weesa

Oh, the nasty old Anniversary Effect! What you are feeling is so totally normal, and time is your best ally. You won't feel like this every October when 10-/24 and 10-/25 roll around. You will get more mellow about it, but I bet you will always remember the dates, and why not? They are an important, if somewhat yuchy, part of your life story.If you are doing well 95% of the time, that is pretty darn impressive.

cookiegal

It gets easier

MaxineO

I was just thinking about this this past weekend. As I was thinking through the next month, I was automatically recalling what I was doing those days 2 years ago.  For me, I had some side pain over a weekend, went to the doctor the following week, and the testing began...2 1/2 weeks before they determined it was breast cancer.  I am dreading re-living those days over the next couple of months.  But I am hopeful that weesa and cookiegal are right and it decreases over time.

I am almost 2 years out, and I will attest to the fact that most things have gotten easier.  So yes, next year will be easier.  And I feel better in so many ways.  Hang in there, MiniMacsMom.

Outfield

I am two years out (diagnosed 6/18/10), and still note all the anniversaries this second time around.  It's not quite the same big deal this time through.  Last year I didn't feel fully recovered when the anniversaries of my diagnosis, surgery, first chemo rolled around, and I think that made it harder.  

I've seen a lot of threads about this anniversary angst, so I guess it's common.  Makes sense.  You'll get through it.

An aside:  my daughter was in the NICU, although only a week.  Even if they do great, those triplets are going to be there because they're early.  My daughter wasn't so terribly early, she had other issues, but as soon as she was ready for it we had people holding her as much as she could be held.  Parents, but also grandparents and friends.  I hated the idea of leaving her alone, and luckily for us it was no more than they felt was medically necessary.  Especially if your friend has other kids, it will be hard for her to be there as much as she wants to be there.  There may be ways other people can help her out that she'll really appreciate.    

Bugs

Next year will be easier...and the year after that even easier.  For me, there is never a jump up in joy whoot whoot it's my anniversary.  It's very mixed cuz you just don't want to say it TOO loudly, ya know?  But..the first year was very hard for me and the 2nd MUCH better.  However, celebrate the day the way you want to.  Do something, ya know?

karen1956

It does get easier....for my one year anniversary, I had carpel tunnel surgery....I didn't want to be in the same place I was when I heard the news) which was work.....2nd year was harder, but each gets easier....Bugs (post right above mine) and I are 6 1/2 years out!!!!   Karen

edwards750

Mine is about to come around again January. Will be my second year. I spent so much time stressing over the mammograms I really dont think about the anniversary of my dx. In fact I will be having my last one on the affected breast on Halloween. How is that for irony. The only way to survive this disease is take it one day at a time. If you allow yourself to dwell on it too much you will get depressed. We are all emotional about it how could we not be but we are all survivors too. diane