Starting chemo November 2012

Tlym

Sickofpink-I think it's really the fatigue that has been more pronounced for most of after tx #3, and not other SEs. Just take it easy and get lots of rest!

Dakota212

Sick of pink -

Good luck!! Just got home from #4 ok so far....

Dakota212

Bet-

That was definitely the hardest thing yet. I don't look at nearly either and it has been a month.

5LuvBugs

So tired from #3, just want to sleep...Also had MRI, Chest XRay and Dexascan today because I told the Onc I was stumbling to the left and coughing at night!!  Sweet dreams girls, hope everyone feels a little better....

Dakota212

5luv-

I am so tired too. I did #4 today. Prayers u get good results.

powermom

Hope you feel better in the morning, Luvbugs, and that the scans come back clear.  Rest!!

michellej1980

Fingers crossed for you Tricia! Off for #3 tomorrow. Going to try icing my mouth and see if it helps prevent taste distortion. Want to enjoy Christmas dinner at least!

keetmom

I am so tired..stool softener kicked in around 11. I was up all night about every 15 minutes going to the bathroom....I need to make sure I take it later in the day...

5LuvBugs

Well, it seems we are all running out of steam - all our posts are getting shorter and shorter - we are all burned out~~  But at least we are in this together (who else would want to hear our daily issues) - I'm glad we have each other. 

5LuvBugs

Kaelia be careful if you take that Ambien - I did some really strange things, husband took it away from me....  Saw kids walkiing on the ceiling, shells on the wall and must have cooked something or had sex (NOT)  in the night because I had white sticky stuff all over my PJ's  - no more Ambien for me - try the Melatonin~~

Anonymous

5LuvBugs~You made me laugh out loud ( good medicine) about waking up with white stick stuff all over your pj.s. Are you absolutely sure there was no sex involved???



Blessings

Paula

Sickofpink

Thanks Tlym & Dakota,

So far ok, and thks for laughs love bugs - and yes Michelle not even raiding my gifts for others of Godiva chocolate tastes worth it!
And DH is sweet but worthless wamts me to call him in other room to ask for stuff when i dont want to be a pain & prefer he'd just check in on me... Neulasta today plus 6 other meds and he'd rather park blocks away to save parking $ - ugh, i miss my gf's.

now daughter lost crown, threw back out,neeeds chiro, needs car repair - not sure if she'll make 3 hour drive after xmas to see my mom in desert n back to see my dad here for one day from ohio while older daughter home from college for only short time -- lovebugs maybe i should borrow an ambian? I'll trade a pot pill for ur test results

Want to do marketing work but will start with Us magazine...

And try to rest xo

Dakota212

Sick-

Hang in there!! We are here for ya! I have plenty of Ativan I would share I am too nervous to take it being a single mom I am afraid I won't wake up if the kids need me.

Michelle-

Hope ur treatment went well with minimal s/e

Keet-

Hope ur bottom is better that happened to anything too and then went the other way... I feel ur pain

5luv

Group hug to u!!! Here for ya!

pands

well its day 4 after ac chemo on monday...gaahhh feel like hit by bus this time...stuffy nose and a slight chemo cough...have call in to nurses on what is safe to take for that one..and just no appetite this go round...well i knew this was the wall day ...can hardly wait till i feel better on sunday...8)

txjunebug

5luvbugs - you crack me up!!  Gld to see you're posting again. 

Ketmom, 5luvbugs, Sickofpink - sending you hugs.

Michelle - good luck today with #3!

I went to Kohl's at lunch and what would usually be no big deal made me tired.  Lord, knows what round 3 is going to do to me!!

powermom

pands - Feel better soon!  Hope you will be in a good place to enjoy Christmas!

Priscillag

I love reading all the posts!



Helps me feel like I'm not alone. I had chemo AC #3 on the 13th. Spent days 5 and 6 in bed so tired I couldn't get up or stay awake! Call Dr. Day 7 went to hospital blood worked show WBC was 0.07. They gave me some fluids sent me home with preventive antibiotic and told me no company. They have no idea why nuelasta shot didn't work. I have 3 teenage girls that are great! They have been wonderful at taking care of me on their break, while my husbands at work. I feel a little better today, atleast I'm awake. I'm scheduled for AC #4 on the 27th but WBC has to come up. Dr. basically said I'm gonna feel like crap til they do and to not catch anything or it could be life threatening. So, I guess I only get to spend Christmas with my girls and husband. At least I have them, but I'll have to send them to Nanny's for Christmas Dinner. Can't see any other family or people.



Thankful I'm alive!

txjunebug

Priscillag- Hope that WBC goes back up quickly!!  Sending you hugs. That stinks about no visitors. Are you eating protein?  My aunt has colon cancer and going thru chemo, too.  She struggles with low WBC but started eating beef and it shot back up. 

milkyway2

Whenever you have pain in your life.just think about full form of Pain

Positive

Atitude

In negative situation

Stay blessed ladies.

Drink lots if water

Pray god will answer your prayer whenever you are in pain

BetNY22

Luvbugs- praying that all test results come back good

Sick of pink- I feel so bad for you, what are you taking for your nausea, maybe they need to switch it up. I take emend, it has worked great.

Dakota- I swear I can't take sedative stuff normally, the ativan just really takes the edge off. I take it before I go for chemo as well. Try taking 1/2 at first if you feel edgy (hard to break those little pills though)

Priscilla-hoping white blood counts come back up for you. I would try some lentil soup-its full of iron

michellej1980

Thanks Dakota and junebug!



TLYM - it was the fatigue that I noticed too after #2. How will I feel after 6?!



I don't know what the hell is happening to me? I just cannot get to sleep easily? Once asleep I'm fine but I toss and turn for hours, get the iPad out, get up and have a drink etc, and often don't sleep till as late as 7am. And this is WAY after the dex has finished and at the end of the cycle. Started dex yesterday, didn't sleep AT ALL. Have currently been awake for...35 hours. No exaggeration. I am so tired and do not think I will need any sleeping aid tonight! Took one last night which obviously did nothing. It's so not like me at all. I could usually sleep for England!



Chemo today was fine. Was waiting around for two hours before they called me through. An hour of that was because they hadn't switched on the scalp cooling machine but it does not take tht long. They'd just forgotten they were waiting for it. Ah well, they gave me a restaurant voucher to go and get lunch with. :-) The nurses are lovely and you'd expect it to be a very depressing environment to be in, but it isn't. I've always felt at home at hospital, which probably isn't healthy but...



Popped in to my 'old home' the haematology clinc the other day after I'd seen the onc to discuss how this chemo is going. Saw my haematologist who I just adore. She had patients with appointments waiting to see her and she saw me and called me through to chat for about 15 minutes. Told her how I was getting on, was telling her how much I worry about mets and can't stop googling. She always very sternly tells me, "Michelle, STOP IT!" but I told her I simply can't. I have questions and who else can answer them at 2am?! She said "you know what your problem is? You're far too intelligent." LOL. I think she means that I over think everything, which I do. But it's nice to told I'm clever too! I think she'd change her mind if she saw some of the stupid things I do sometimes.



What's lovely is that even though she obviously isn't treating me for BC, I still feel she is an important part of my team as she cares about me and not just my previous blood cancer. I feel welcome in her clinic outside of my official annual appointment slot though I did feel guilty for gatecrashing and delaying the patients who are meant to be there. But I always want to see her and it helps me feel better. She knows me well and I can talk more easily to her about my worries than I can my onc who I've only actually met 3 times - once in 2003 when I was recalled to discuss the newly discovered high risk of BC in young female Hodgkin's patients treated with RT to the chest, and twice since this diagnosis.



Reading what I've just written makes it clear that I get far too attached to people which is hard when you have to remind yourself that although they care, they don't care as much as you'd like them to. People in positions of authority must have this happen to them all the time. I've always struggled with feelings of abandonment when I have finished treatments and suddenly stop seeing doctors and nurses so often and it has no doubt contributed to my depression over the years. I'd been dealing with it okay for years while I've just been having annual appointments but now I'm thrown back into the system and like I said, I feel at home there. Of course, I don't want the diagnoses and risk of recurrence but I don't mind being near hospitals. I guess I started off there so young too and was never emotionally close to my mum.



This has SO turned into my own little therapy session! Sorry everyone! I should go to bed. Steroids definitely make me ramble!



So, I wonder what my first SE will be. If I've not had poops within 2 days I'm taking that stool softener! 5 days was too long! I did suck ice chips today during Taxotere in the hope it helps avoid nasty taste/loss of taste. It could of course be the cyclophosphamide but by the time the nurse brought the ice I'd already had the ten minute bonus injection! We shall see what happens and I'll let you all know!



Good luck everyone!

Eleni

Michelle, I so understand what you're saying about "feeling abandoned" when you stopped with the treatments. The first time around, I was going so often to the hospital, it was a familiar place. And then they told me I was on my own. I couldn't believe it. I felt alone against this disease. Slowly but surely I got over it and stopped thinking about it.

About softeners. What are you eating? The previous time I had big problem with constipation. This time, I eat beans, lentils, spinach, vegetables, whatever can help me. It works.

Eleni

We're off to my FIL's place this weekend. It's his birthday and it's my good week. The blood work wasn't optimal, so I have to go again on Monday for a blood test. And later on that day, yes on the 24th, I'm getting chemo #3! I hate it, but hopefully I'll feel better by New Year's Eve.

Loafer

Hi Gals - sounds like we are all feeling SEs of chemo 3. I am still very tired with achy muscles. Don't seem to have any good days this cycle. At my treatment center, they don't tell you what your counts are. Last treatment, the IV backed up with blood and the technician had trouble clotting the blood at the end. Does that mean low white or red count and what do you do to bring the count up before next treatment?



I have four days off to finally sleep.



Hugs and happy holidays to all you great ladies,



Ginny



Ps welcome to all the new Michigan gals! We dodged a storm today!!

michellej1980

Loafer - I do not eat any of those things! I have a serious aversion to fruit and veg, but I intend to try and work on that once I'm done with all this crap.



Clotting problem suggests you are low on platelets. They can give transfusions (which bizarrely you can often taste) of platelets just like red cells, but not sure of what you yourself can do to help them up.



Eleni - I thought 21st was bad but chemo on Xmas eve?! Yuk! Although I think I might actually prefer that as its usually a couple of days before I start feeling 'chemoed'. By Xmas day I expect to be feeling like shit. :-(

Eleni

Michelle, you're going to be fine. Lower your standards and it'll be okay. Pyjama day, with a nice film, food that you can keep down and the day will pass.

Since my kids love pyjama days, I think we'll all have a pyjama Christmas this year. My husband is cooking something very simple. It's going to be raining, so it's not fun to be outside either.

Anonymous

Loafer~As I understand it, there isn't anything we can do ourselves to boost the WBC but the red blood cells will raise if you get your protein. Since my taste buds weren't the best, McDonalds fish sandwich worked well for me, and has 30 grams of protein. I think we need 65 grams per day. Also there's peanut butter, red meat, dairy, protein bars, chicken, tuna, etc.



I'm leaving for our church's Candle light Service.



Blessings

Paula

politicomama

If you can do it Greek Yogurt also has tons of protien and comes in lots of yummy flavors.   That and carnation instant breakfast have been my go tos on days that nothing tastes good.  Anyone else craving salty stuff?    

pands

politicomama - yes to salty too...had a bacon and avocado sandwich on multigrain bun for lunch...heavy on bacon ..tasted heavenly..because i could taste it ...yum...despite feeling under the weather i acually feel like eating something this late afternoon..

right now though i feellike my lymphnodes in armpits and legs are slightly swollen...is this a se that anyone else has had??

...as for my dry cough nurse phoned back and said that if i needed to to get dm syrup with no tylenol just in case im running an infection and then reminded me that they are closed over the weekend and would have to go to emergency if i ended up gettting worse told her over my dead body...did that with my mom 2xs (she has liver/lung) and spent 8 hrs waiting first time and 4hrs the second time despite phone call from her onc...

anyways..i will most likely lurk here over the holidays..and hope that everyone has a great Christmas as best as we can with our various se's...

maryah930

No salty foods and really not anything. I went to get my post-chemo blood work done today (came back fine), but lost a total of 6 lbs since last Friday (Tx #2).  SEs were not as severe this time around, but I had issues with my port and arm/chest pain.  Chemo was delayed until the MO came and checked.  I ended up being at the clinic for over 8 hours.  And here I thought the first chemo was the longest. I had a doppler on Monday to rule out a clot and a dye study today.  The port is fine, but may be resting on a nerve.  The choice: tolerate and treat the pain for two more treatments (last one is end of Jan) or have the port removed and replaced. 

I've been really irritable and down-in-the-dumps for the past couple of days and had a meltdown in the MO's office.  Her nurse listened and talked to me for about 45 minutes.  Except for the three weeks post op in Oct, I have been living my normal life, working, socializing, etc. since my Sept diagnosis. This is just part of my personality. I am not, nor do I pretend to be superwoman.  However, it is the end of the year and I had to take my remaining vacation/personal leave.  Because of the pain I've had this week, I have not left the house.  I have no work to do, so what is my brain doing? Finally processing the fact the I had breast cancer and am being treated for breast cancer, now and for the next 5 years at minimum.  I am a cancer patient.

You would think I would have dealt with this already, but I guess the brain compartmentalizes in order to go into survival mode.  Well, the door to this compartment flew wide open.  All the anger and fear I didn't know I had surfaced.  I was able to also talk about the guilt that I feel when I do get sad or angry because I don't feel I should.  I don't have BC as "bad" as others.  New meds and counselling are next on the agenda. 

Thank you for letting me vent...