Awakening

lightandwind

When diagnosed with cancer, it suprisingly did not come as a shock, even made sense. How could this be? My spirit was crying, my body out of balance, and I turned away. I turned away to work hard, give to others and ignored myself, until I couldn't work hard anymore, couldn't give anymore. Something was wrong. I found out that what was wrong is I had cancer. Though it's only been five months so far on this journey which some are called to take, I am feeling almost grateful for this experience. Not the affliction of course, but what it has and is teaching me. Last night I dreamt of a baby. It turned into a cicada and back into a baby. this dream has stayed with me all day. Unusual. I didn't even think I knew what a cicada was, until I woke up this morning. I decided to look up the symbolism of a cicada. To the chinese, it means rebirth. Exactly. Exactly. The world I see is so different now. My body feels so differnt now. It is like a rebirth.. though it may end in death. How could my unconscious bring this message to me so clearly? a baby? a cicada? a dream I can't forget? Something greater than me is at work here. whatever happens..I am alive..and..I believe.

kaza

lightandwind -- i can so relate to your post- i also felt so tired and drained just before dx giving to others working so hard and not looking after ourselves. As you said it is like a new beggining being born again- but this time to take care of ourselves and be selfish at times. We do not know what the future holds for us, but if we can now take good care of ourselves we are giving our bodies and minds peace, x