Want to have T-day at my new house BUT

ConnieGreene

we are in the process of finishing our new home and will be ready to move in soon!!!

I have looked forward to having Thanksgiving with my family at the new house ever since we bought it (foreclosure bought back in February!!!!)

My bilateral with reconstruction surgery is Oct 23rd...

Honestly - do you think I will be able to do it?????

SpecialK

I had mine on Nov. 1 and was able to do Thanksgiving but I had someone else lift the turkey in and out of the oven.

Leah_S

I had mine 4 1/2 weeks ago. I guess it would depend on the size of your family - and the size of the turkey. I had my family here for one of our holidays a few days ago and it was tiring but wonderful - all 6 of my kids, 2 sons-in-law, and 6 of my grandkids.

Just don't be afraid to ask for help.

Leah

Blessings2011

POTLUCK!!!!! You can assign whatever you want to whoever is coming. You can even have someone else bring the turkey!

And forget about cleaning the house ahead of time; if your family is anything like mine, you'll need to hose down the whole inside after they leave...(grandkids  )

Let everyone know your limitations up front. You'll need help with lifting and reaching.....

Make sure you take your pain meds that day...

Understand that just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD. In other words, you may feel like you can do it all, but trust me, you'll pay for it later.

Being surrounded by family can be a wonderful, happy event.

And congratulations on the new house!!!

dlb823

Connie, I think it depends very much on your family and if they approach holidays as teamwork, or if they expect to be guests and let you do all the work.  If by any chance the latter, I'd say don't even think about it!  There was another thread here recently along the same lines, but the poster had made the mistake of having the latter type of rels for Thanksgiving last year, and she was miserable.  (I just found that other thread and bumped it for you.  I'll also try to give you a link, but it's called something like "Holiday Stress-but my fault..."  http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/791675?page=1#post_3248927   Not saying that your family is at all like hers, but it will give you an idea of how it can go terribly bad.)  

It may also depend on what kind of recon you're doing.  With DIEP (which is what I had), I wasn't cleared to drive until 4 weeks after my surgery, so couldn't possibly have done any shopping, lifting, cleaning or other prep before then.  If you're doing implants, recovery might be easier (because you don't have a tummy incision), but I don't know for sure.

Congrats on the new house, and good luck with your surgery!  (((Hugs)))    Deanna 

peggy_j

Do you have a Plan B? i.e. is there another family member who could host if you decide, say a week before T-day, that you'd rather be a guest than the host? 

Everyone is different. FWIW, I usually host an Easter Brunch for a group of friends. in 2011 I started rads  a couple weeks before Easter and my DH suggested asking a friend to host. I'm so glad I did. Turns out the week before Easter I felt really tired, so it was nice not to have to think of all that other stuff. Of course surgery is different. Don't forget you can always host the next holiday, after you'd have time to unpack from the move.

ConnieGreene

mom is my backup plan...she has already suggested it and said the same thing - Christmas is next so maybe then...I love my family!

DivineMrsM

If one of my family members was having major surgery such as yours the month before Thanksgiving, I really wouldn't want them to host a big dinner. It would make me feel like I was really imposing, even with my family.  Christmas or Christmas Eve sounds like a good alternative.  Even a fabulous New Year's Day brunch to welcome in a new year, a new home.    

peggy_j

Yay for Mom. Sounds like you don't need to decide right away. Good luck, ConnieGreen, on the move and the surgery.

ConnieGreene

I just want them to treat me like ME - not a cancer patient.....you know?

New-girl

I had my surgery in Feb and did not host Easter Dinner this year.  I could have but I felt everyone would have treated me like a cancer patient. You know, don't lift this, please sit down, you look tired.  I am doing Thanksgiving this year and everyone has adjusted to our new normal.  I would give yourself some time because I think you will need it. 

peggy_j

Connie, blame it on the move. Seriously. That sounds more daunting than surgery! (which box has the gravel boat....?)

ConnieGreene

you all may be right.....I already lost the gravy boat!!!! And I could just hearing hubby above everyone else telling me to sit down and don't do this don't do that.....

ok..guess mom gets it! 

ConnieGreene

change of plans!

My sister is coming up from Oklahoma - so Christmas on Thanksgiving while she is here which happens to be her (sister's) birthday !!!!!!

and that combination sounds exhausting and I haven't even had surgery yet!!!

rk85

Connie you are a brave woman to think about  doing that for your family so soon after MX surgery.  I had mine almost a year ago and I'm still not up to it .  Hope the surgery goes very well for you on the 23rd with a quick recovery!