Sister-in-law newly diagnosed

KelBel4

My sister-in-law, who is my best friend, was diagnosed this week with stage 3 breast cancer and lymphoma (sorry don't know the spelling). She was told that she will need chemo and then a double masectomy and several lymph notes removed. She is so positive and I try to stay positive but I'm so sad for her. She is only 33 and has 3 children (ages 4,5, & 14). She told me she was scared and when I asked her what she was scared of she said of leaving my kids and of being sick from chemo and not being able to play with her kids. So my question is...does the chemo from breast cancer make you really sick? Her doctor told her mom she would be tired but it didn't cause as much nausea as other chemo meds. What else can I do to support her without being over bearing? I have gone to all her doctor appts. with her and helped with the kids...we even went underwear shopping before they put her port in. I'm praying she will be a survivor but her doctor keeps stressing how serious this is. Tom. we find out all the results of her scans, and xrays! 

thefuzzylemon

Hello - I am so sorry for your sister in law/best friend.  My view on survivorship is - from the moment you are diagnosed, you begin being a survivor.  So...it's time to have a different view of this whole thing!  LOL

Chemotherapy - and all treatments - are very personalized as far as what our bodies do with it.  I know many many ladies who went through the tough stuff (red devil, AC, el diablo rojo...) without much trouble at all.  I am not one of those lucky ladies but...I am here and I made it through.  

It's so natural to think about being around for your babies - of all ages.  I was 39 at diagnosis and my babies are in college but YEAH I want to see them retire from their careers.  You friend may quickly find that this becomes an opportunity to really live life.  To learn from this experience and find strength that she never thought she had - and the same goes for you, her best friend. 

What can you do to help?  Just do - don't ask.  When she's home from treatment, follow her lead...if she doesn't feel well, take the kids and play with them.  Have them make pictures for her.  Have them make dinner with you.  Get the mail, walk the dog, clean the house...don't ask her what she needs, just do it.  I know one of the most aweful parts for me was that NO ONE helped my family...and no one walked my baby puppy.  Just do it.  It's a terrible feeling to ask for help for some of us...I am one of those people.

Ask her to come aboard!!  Get on the USS Breast Cancer Community...meet sisters that are just starting and those who have been survivors for decades!  It's an incredible community and I am grateful to this day for becoming a part of this community...

You're a wonderful friend.