I really, really dislike the color pink...

Pollywog

October used to be one of my very favorite months of the year, but since I was first diagnosed with BC, I'd just as soon not even go out this mornth.  Pink.  It's everywhere.  Potato chips, soup cans, body wash, Firemen, EMS, fingernails, t-shirts, banners - and every Friday in October at work we are supposed to wear pink.  Luckily, thanks to taking a vacation, I'm not scheduled for any Fridays this month 

 Yeah, yeah - I know it's supposed to be showing support - but to me, it's a slap in the face.  I don't want to be reminded of breast cancer, I don't want to be reminded that I have a ticking time bomb (BRCA+) in my body, I don't want to be reminded of all the pain and other fun things that came along with surgery, chemo and rads - and all the other fun things since.

I've had breast cancer twice; in 2006 and 2010, and I have had the same visceral response to 'Pink' since shortly after my first diagnosis - I know I'm not alone; two other women where I work have also had breast cancer and they feel the same way I do; but I would like to know if there are others - and how you deal with the plethora of pink this month, and with the well intentioned friends, family - and even my oncologist - who present you with pink shirts, pink pins, pink bracelets, pink toys - without running shrieking down the street, pulling your hair (hey, I've got hair!) or ripping cute little pink teddy bears into shreds with your teeth... (okay, so I haven't actually done that one, but my co-worker gave one to her dog, who enjoys nothing more than shredding stuffed animals )

And before some other well intentioned person suggests that maybe I could use some counseling - I work in a mental health facility and my peers are more than willing to analyse me; I come out sane  - it's normal to react to symbols of bad times. I work full time plus overtime (only took off the minimum time that I had to r/t working in a hospital and being immunosuppressed), babysit my grandkids a couple of days a week, have a good relationship with the spouse, enjoy time with friends and hobbies - doing fine except for this pink thing I've got going on

SelenaWolf

I hate that damned pink ribbon.  And I hate the culture that surrounds it.  You know, the one that infers that a "good" breast cancer patient is one who is positive, optimistic, nurturing and wears lipstick throughout treatment.  The one that posits breast cancer as the ultimate beauty makeover, i.e., "... your hair will grow back thicker and more luxuriant..." or "... your skin will never be more clear or blemish-free than it will be during chemo..."   It completely negates valid emotions like anxiety, fear, grief and anger; it even suggests that - if one feels those emotions - one puts one ability to survive and/or thrive at risk

To which I say, horsefeathers!!!!

Pink is a colour for little girls.  We, women, need a bold colour denoting strength, courage, tenacity, determination, and hope in the face of adversity.  We are warriors deserving of respect for the demons we have faced down and the enemies we have slain on this battlefield.  I'm sorry, but a pink teddy bear just plain inappropriate.

New-girl

Thank you.  I love your spirit.  From the time I found out, I refused to wear pink.  I wore red. Bright, bold , strong red.  My daughters embraced the pink while I refused.  They have the James Avery ribbon necklaces, the Komen shirts, the adorable pink bears while I have the scars, nightmares, and fears.  I quietly don't discourage their world as if they makes them feel more secure, so be it.  They respect my red and I try to ignore their happy pink.

Anonymous

I've never liked pink. It's a weak color to me and feels patronizing. Pink month is a time to endure. Waiting for November!!!

SelenaWolf

It's funny you should mention wearing red.  I've often thought that red would have been a much better colour.  It's bold and strong, and passionate.  It's the colour of fire, which both destroys and cleanses, leaving behind it tender, new growth.  Red represents beauty in many cultures around the world.  Red symbolises joy, life, energy, and creativity.  It is the colour of the life-blood that runs through our vein.

Oh, yes.  Red is a MUCH better colour for breast cancer.

shells43

Pollywog, Selena and others, come over to our Pinktober Revolution forum!

Pollywog

I'd love to!  How do I find my way there?!

mandapanda

I feel ya! My mom just passed in August from BC and I hate October now! I use to wear my pink bracelet everyday in October. I had pink shirts, hats, and etc. Now I see a pink ribbon and I just feel sad, angry, and then the tears come sometimes. I know people mean well. Oh and then I get people tagging me in posts about breast cancer awareness and I'm like how much more do you want me to be aware!!!???!

cs34

Ladies, thank you! Every one of your posts said all that I am feeling!

I "knew" I couldn't be the only one. I was feeling bad because I know there are many selfless, good people out there doing amazing things for breast cancer but this month of pink has really bothered me this year!

In fear of being told that I am "being negative," I couldnt share my feelings with anyone.

The first October, after chemo, my hair had just started coming back in so this month made me feel less alone (for sure) but now I'm four years out and I'm hating this pink month this year more than I ever have!

I'm glad that I'm not alone, I'm not crazy, and that it does feel like this month of Pink symbolizes or suggests the opposite of all that comes with being diagnosed.

carol4

I am having a hard time with this month also. I have just finished up reconstruction from my double mastectomy and I am ready to move on and NOT think about breast cancer for awhile. I went shopping the other day for cute tops (after wearing horrible baggy sweaters all last winter) and all the pink just brought me down. I also have a neighborhood friend who is doing the Komen 3 day and wants me to sign her shirt that she is going to wear. She means well and I think she means it as an "in honor of" type thing, but it bothers me to no end. I don't have warm and fuzzies for Komen anyway, and her gathering names of people who have had breast cancer and displaying them on her shirt seems a little creepy to me. I guess I am overthinking the whole thing, but I guess that's the point, I don't want to think about it! Thanks for understanding!

Jennie93

You are not the only one, oh no, I feel the exact same way!   Even before BC hit me personally, I didn't like the whole "commercialization" aspect of all this pink stuff but I mostly shrugged it off, figured they meant well and all that.  But this year, newly diagnosed (in August), been through surgery (in September), and about to start the scariest part of all, chemo (next week)....  I just cringe every time I see the stupid pink everything.  It's like a slap in the face, a reminder of all the horrors I have gone through and will go through.  And I've never liked the color pink anyway!  You won't catch me wearing it....

nucci

So glad to hear that October and breast cancer awareness month bothers others as much as it does me. I am stage IV at diagnosis, and I am working to live every day, not have my cancer thrown in my face every time I go out the door or turn on the TV. I am so grateful for the fundraising and am benefitting from it, but I will never "fight like a girl", which is so insulting, I will fight with all my strength to manage this illness, not like a wimp. Glad I am not the only grouch!