recently diagnosed - no answers waiting and just exhausted....

ConnieGreene

hi all!

 I was recently diagnosed (Sept 5) with DCIS but pathology also said angiolaymphatic invasion SO the tissue samples were sent to another lab for retesting......MRI was last Wednesday results should have been there today. Bone scan done - possibile trauma or tumor on 6th rib. Team meeting is getting together Thursday to discuss findings and treatment.

So far I know I will be having a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction.

Gals, I am so STRESSED....waiting is killing me....had to wait 2 weeks from diagnosis before I even seen the breast specialist and now I am waiting again.

I am tired, I can tell my girls are feeling it because they are acting up in ways that is just not like them - (twin girls will be 7 in November and a 3.5 yr old girl)

Any suggestions? I keep hearing and TRYING to keep busy but NOTHING is working...I am diabetic so I do carefully watch what I eat so no junk for me to wear me down. I am also bipolar (II) and have always taken my medications religiously.

Any ideas? I need something!!!! I sew (and make money doing it too!) and I can't even concentrate on that anymore....

 Simple things like cleaning/laundry etc are becoming so hard to do (I am usually very on top of this)

this is so hard..............................and I haven't even begun the journey

Moiralf

Hello Conniegreen,

First thing I want to say is sorry you have to be going though this and yes the waiting is some kind of torture. It is one of the hardest parts of this experience. Our minds race with all the possible scenarios and it can go to the bad places of the worst case.

 You have the added stress of the bipolar. My husband is bipolar so I have some understanding of the stress that can be all by itself. Do remember to keep taking your pills, I sure you know that but it is easy to forget and get in state and miss. 

Do or can you take an anti anxiety medication? Many of us here do and more especially around scan time or like now for you when we were early in diagnosing phase and the world was falling down.  Talk to your normal doc and see what they say. This is incredibly hard and you are very normal in how you are feeling. Life stops and this dominates every thought and action. It does move on and things get better but you have to get though this stage.

Look after your girls and sometimes focusing on them helps to push the other stuff aside for a bit. Don't stress about the house etc, one thing at a time. Talking to someone you trust is often helpful. I found a counselor better than family members or friends as family and friends are scared too. Letting all the rubbish flying around in your head out and hearing it out loud can reduce the pressure of the thoughts. Councilors can be a very good sounding board and they aren't personal involved so can be calm and accepting of whatever you say.

Once you hear back from the tests and get answers and you may find you need more tests you can see where you are heading. It still isn't easy but the not knowing is terribly hard. Try as best you can to do whatever works for you to get though. Remember to breathe, sounds funny but sometimes it feels like we stop even breathing. Deep quiet breathes slow things down and can be a bit relaxing.

Stay away from researching on the Internet. Very scary and mostly quite untrue.Coming here does help. Reading what others have learnt helps and you will also see some great support and encouragement. You are not alone and it is something you can get though. Slowly one step at a time.

All the very best and my thoughts are with you.

Moira