Starting Chemo October 2012

LouBar

Hugs to you  celineflower, hope you are feeling better and thank you caitgrace for a lovely message, I want to go dancing with you and 35-smiling too

I'm on day 5 post last treatment, this is when I'm in the most joint / bone discomfort and find myself moving from bed to couch and back again.  But today will be better than yesterday and tomorrow better again so this is fuelling me on...

po-ke - did you have your last one? hoorah!

Poke

Celine! Try to keep your head up!! We all know good days and bad but you have lots of love and support here and we hate to see you sad. 

Andrea! Surgery! Less than one week!!! I'll be thinking of you!!

Jalessi, I agree - don't overdue it!! 

I was indeed healthy enough to get my LAST TREATMENT Friday! Right after they hooked me up the receptionist came and told me one of the other patients had hit my car. Ha! I didn't care!!! It was my last chemo!!! I got home and tossed the bag of confetti one of my friends sent me after my surgery. Felt great! If I can figure out how, I'll post a picture  

Spending the weekend in bed! Love to all!

Poke

Couldn't figure out how to post a pic Changed my avatar instead. xoxo

Caitgrace

Yay to everyone who is finishing up! And all you ladies were on the dance floor today with me -- our "intention" this week was the gift found in fear: courage. I felt it was appropriate to dance with all of you this Sunday.... For who has faced fears more than the women (and men) in these forums? Courageous we are moving forward.



Remember to keep moving.... Keeping dancing -- feel the music long after it stops!

alcb70

Celine and Caitgrace....I hope you both feel better soon. I go up and down also. I don't know how much of it's chemical/hormonal, and how much of it is just knowing that I have cancer.  Probably both. I cry a lot these days.  We're here with you, and know what you're going through.  Please take care of yourselves. I hope the sun comes out, and the darkness fades. XO

For those that are behind me (or even besides me) in the Taxotere journey.....  I have lines on my nails (just about one for each treatment). As they grow out, I've been worried because my nails are much thinner.  Sure enough, I now have 3 nails that are lifting in the corners. I fear that they're going to come off.   Watch your nails and keep them cut short (if you have these lines)....this way they don't catch on anything. My toenails are fine...just my nails seem to be affected.  As if I'm not unattractive and enough of a freak.....no hair, soon to be no boobs, and now my nails are falling off!  Ugghhhh!

Caitgrace-I hope the Tamoxifen gets better. I get to experience that joy after surgery and radiation.  I feel for you with the sweats. I have horrible hot flashes from the chemo induced menopause. They make me feel physically ill.  Hopefully your body adjusts quickly.

Take care everyone! Have a good week and hopefully less side effects.   ~Andrea

CelineFlower

thank you for the loving and encouraging words

i have not been able to take my bipolar meds for a few weeks now... it was just to much on my stomach

im hoping i can handle 4 more weeks 

Poke- you are so beautiful! thank you for that smile... *celine goes off looking for a bag of purple confetti*

Marlene18

Wow, everyone is finishing up - I am so jealous.

So Chloe is doing very well - last week, she was up to 7 lbs 10 oz and all she does is eat and sleep so she must be over 8 lbs this week. I had been hoping to breastfeed her for these weeks between treatments but my single untainted boob has only been able to produce about 10% of what she eats daily, likely because my cells are still in recovery phase from the rounds of AC. I still pump it out for her every 3 hours (the slow production rate makes her actually nursing too frustrating for her most of the time) but she's mostly formula-fed. This makes it so my partner can be as unrested as me from the middle-of-the-night feedings. I've been experiencing postpartum night sweats so I guess that gives me a taste of what's to come in future treatments. Also, my hair loss was at its worst (lashes and brows really letting go) right around the time I delivered (Jan 13) but now my hair is totally coming in so I'm losing that pasty scalp look that screams "chemo patient!" I know it takes forever to grow but just having that tiny bit of stubbly hair makes such a difference...

I've been trying to stay pretty absorbed in my own little world of caring for Chloe but can't help keeping my mental countdown of when chemo starts again (less than 2 weeks now...) I'm pretty nervous about how it's going to go since doing chemo while pregnant seemed easier to take than it is otherwise. Having a newborn is already pretty exhausting, I'm scared about how I'll be able to manage with the additional weakening from chemo. I do have people coming to help out so I guess I just need to focus on staying positive and remember that I can ask for help. Anticipation is worse than the reality, right?

Stay strong.

PatinMN

Marlene, you are incredibly strong to have come through chemo part one while pregnant, then giving birth and caring for a newborn! Will you be getting weekly taxol and Herceptin? It was not bad at all for me (but I didn't have AC first). There's a Weekly Taxol thread if you want to check in with others going through the same chemo.

CelineFlower

Marlene... are u in touch with a la leche league rep? they are a great association that helps women breastfeed.

this thecanadian websit but they are international

http://www.lllc.ca/

good to hear you are doing well, i bet chloe is one gian purple happy button!

my 2nd child will be born anyday now... im so blessed amngst all this sickness... and yes, death.... to have a bright light of life to distract me with

Jalessi92

I was totally exhausted after working Sunday night...it took me two days to finally feel rested. I'm working Friday and Saturday night, so I'll be taking a short nap Saturday night on my break. Just had abraxane #5 and herceptin #7 on Tuesday. My counts were low, but not low enough to delay chemo. ANC=2.02, WBC=2.9, Hgb=10.4.



To everyone experiencing sadness: I have it too. I think I'm feeling like I've been through enough, I'm tired of the weekly infusions, I've had enough of these uncomfortable tissue expanders, the medical bills are still showing up in my mailbox, and I'm due for another MUGA scan and I can't afford the $150 copay at this time. ARRRGGGHHH!!!!



You guys understand what I'm talking about, as no one else could! What a long road this has been, but I'm glad I have people traveling with me! I'll stop complaining now. I'm alive, Spring is just around the corner per Punxatawney Phil, my nurse manager saved my job for me, and I'm glad to be taking care of my Moms and babies again.

Poke

Marlene, I am so in awe of your strength! I cannot at all imagine dealing with an infant, I just spent literally the last six days in bed. I felt victorious when I got up and made a grilled cheese about an hour and a half ago. Bless you and your baby!! 

Jalessi! Don't burn out!! You need to stay strong, I know that working is important and that money is a struggle, but you have to take care of yourself as best you can. I hope you are getting help with housework or meals or something to take some of the burden off of you. 

I keep READING. Reading stories and hearing stories and everytime a breast cancer patient dies I feel like I've brought negativity into my mind and I just want to push it out, but in my quest to know everything I can know about this stupid disease, I just feel defeated sometimes. I want the good stories to outweigh the bad. A friend with cancer posted a story about a 29 year old girl whose husband is completing her list of things she wanted to accomplish. Get a PhD, go to India, etc, etc. She says, "What an inspiration!! Wow!!" I watched the video and felt sick because the girl died like a year and a half after diagnosis. 

I'm done venting. 

Marlene18

Thanks PatinMN, I'm glad to hear taxol wasn't so bad for you. I'm on the tri-weekly schedule, not sure why some people get weekly and some get tri-weekly. Maybe my 6-week delay between AC and taxol/herceptin will have strengthened me a little so that it won't be *too* bad. I hope anyway. I'll check out the weekly taxol thread, thanks.

Celine, my midwife is a lactation consultant and she seems to think I've done everything right, it's just that my body is too taxed to produce more milk. Since I only have about 10 days left before I have to stop, it's probably not worth much more effort. I read a story of a fourth-time mother who had done AC like me during her pregnancy and she wasn't able to produce anything after her son was born even though she had exclusively nursed her three other babies. 

Po-ke, the good stories DO outweigh the bad I think but they just don't get as much attention. When I was diagnosed, an older lady at work confided in me that she had undergone treatment 19 years ago and now she has just entered retirement. I think the ordinary, returning-to-your-life stories just aren't as exciting to get circulated as much. My twin sister reaches her 5-year survival the same day I have my last chemo in April, so that gives me hope too. 

I am thankful the sun is peeking out today, it's been gloomy for too long on the west coast!

Toots

Had the last chemo yesterday woohoo ! celebrated with chocolate cake - nurse and hubby loved it - couldn't indulge because of the diabetes but it smelt divine!

For all those feeling a bit down - the good stories far outweigh the bad - so don't forget to look for all the silver linings in those clouds.................

So glad Chloe is doing so well and Marlene if she is gaining weight like that there is no way the means of feeding are doing her anything but good! Give her big hugs from the NE of Scotland! ......don't be afraid to ask for help once you re-start your chemo sessions...........as someone said 'one of the hardest things to say I NEED HELP'............stay as strong as you are honey x

Hugs, all the best to everyone, minimal SEs wished for all xxxx

CelineFlower

Marlene... though a breast feeding consultant can be a useful tool... an LLL rep is imo a better tool... but because i dont know to much about this scenerio (bf and chemo/cancer) .. i cant say for sure but the LLL league works indipendently of any gov or big pharma ... and sometimes, due to international connections and a more purist perspective, they are atleast a good tool to bounce the info off. 

They just may help you in ways you may not have expected. I know you are busy... and im not trying to be pushy... but, just call your locall LLL rep, have a chat... they are a important and very usefull tool ... for more then just your typical breastfeeding issues.

PatinMN

Marlene, if you have a chance you might give your onc's office a call to ask about getting your taxol weekly instead of tri weekly. I think it would be more tolerable for you. Also, my onc told me that the weekly regimen is statistically more effective than tri weekly, probably because you get more of the drug overall. I had asked if the weekly dose was one-third of the tri weekly, and he said no, it's actually more than one-third. He said that the weekly dose times 3 is toxic. Hope this makes sense. Anyway, sorry for adding to the advice you've been getting!

LouBar

Marlene - I can't believe baby Chloe is already almost 8lbs and that the time seems to be flying since she was born.  Love getting the updates, such great positive news.  Really, you are remarkable to becoming and being a new mom "in between" chemo, I hope the last part of your chemo is a breeze and that the bonus of coming home to Chloe alleviates any SEs.  Also thanks for sharing the good news about your twin sister, I'm sorry you both had to battle BS but think, soon you will be celebrating your 5 year mark

Toots - woooohooo for you. Congratulations!!

I am in a post chemo clean-up mode.  I am purging the clothes I have been wearing seemingly non-stop for the last 6 months that remind me of chemo: sloppy but comfy slippers, baggy jammies, woolly socks, left over meds, biotene etc.  Although this now seems to have extended to cleaning all closets, pantry etc.  But feels good, fresh start, almost like spring cleaning, except we are in the middle of a whopper of a snow storm and I'm watching as +25cm of snow is falling outside....hmmmm, may be I'll keep a hold of those woolly socks a while longer    Have an appt. with lymphodema clinic today (if not cancelled b/c of weather) to get assessed and see what preventative action I can take to hopefully keep this issue at bay...will keep you posted.

301724

LouBar - I know what you mean about cleaning things out. I did a major purge a couple of weeks ago - gave a lot of things to a friend getting ready to start chemo. It felt good to pass them on to someone who could use them and to have them out of the house!

Mrsrenicka709

Hello, I am two weeks post chemo #6..... My last treatment. For some reason my SE's seem to linger. My body is sore, back, legs, stomach and both breast. Has this happened to anyone else? I am so afraid of mets everything scares me! Please advise

Toots

Mrsrenicka7 - I am only on Day 3 of last chemo #6 but SEs were still lingering from #5 just didn't seem to totally clear just worsened since 7th........clarytin twice a day (morning and night for a week) certainly eases the aches and pains in the bones and muscles........breast where I had surgery got sore and swollen to the point of going green. yellow and bruised!  Usually clear by end of 3rd week..............

As for worries pease contact medical personal and see if you can't get some reassurance...............

......scared of mets too especially when onc said there was an 'anomaly' in one of my lungs after last round of scans, said don't worry - doesn't that expression just make you worry more?........I think we all get scared just thinking of the possibilities............

On a much more positive note joined the 'survivors' relay race for Cancer Research UK on 6th of 7th July starts 10:45 one day finishing same time next day.......survivors open and close the relay, shoud be fun, may be fit by then as finish rads by end March, and raise some funding for research at the same time, will also encourage me to drop some of the weight I have gained and make an effort to get fit again! Wish me luck girls.............

Hugs to all xxx

Anonymous

I want to encourage you all. I finished chemo tc x4 at end of July and experienced no symptoms from neulasta until the last shot and then it was painful but bearable muscular and bone pain.



It will get better. Keep hydrated and try to eat healthy if possible.

Jalessi92

Poke...since you are on abraxane too, are you getting nosebleeds??? I am 49 years old and NEVER had a nose bleed, but I've had three in the last two days. Not sure if this is a taxane issue or specific to abraxane. I have a MO appt on Monday and plan to ask her about it.



Gotta go to sleep now...working again tonight 7 p to 7:30 a.

Poke

Jalessi, 

I have not had any nosebleeds, but I assume your platelets may be low? Mine were down to 70-something this week. That is probably the culprit. Your MO will figure it out, in the meantime if your gut tells you the nosebleeds are severe, then go to the ER. 

xoxo

Poke

P.S. Hooray Toots and Mrsrenicka!!! 

Poke

Happy Chinese New Year to you all! Wishing for prosperity and GOOD HEALTH for everyone!!! xoxo

Toots

Poke -Thanks for the hooray for the end in sight, haven't been around much this last session really knocking me out with whistling in the ears which is driving me crazy but hey it is the LAST TiME can only get better - Happy Chinese Near Year to you too............may there be a few 'red envelopes' for you for luck!

Take care alll - lots of hugs and silver linings...............xxx

Poke

Hey everyone! I never noticed Toots is from Scotland. I was looking at her avatar and I was like, "Damn, that's neat."

So I had an idea. I created a facebook page, maybe you guys can check it out. xoxo

www.facebook.com/matchingdreams

If you think it's a good idea, please share with the ladies affected by breast cancer that you have developed friendships with. My goal is to have this really take off and I couldn't find another website or registry or anything that does any type of matching like this. 

Mrsrenicka709

Thank u Poke and Toots! Yes I worry now about every pain! I feel much better knowing that I am not alone with my concerns. I hate to mention it to my family or friends because it only causes more worry. One day at a time is my new motto. Have a blessed week Ladies!

LouBar

po_ke: great idea! the facebook page looks great, I'll keep checking in and "share" it where I can with other groups (i.e. I'll forward to the dragon boat team, all BC survivors).  

Ladies - I had my appt. with physio on Friday re. lymphodema.  I requested it being "proactive" for a sleeve when I fly.  My arm does not look swollen and I didn't think I had any concerns and was being solely proactive.  Anyways, turns out my lymphnodeless arm is 1cm larger in places than my good arm  So I have exercises and need to wear a sleeve when doing anything active.  Just an FYI - to perhaps request this appt. to get checked out as it wasn't required by MO and I thought I was okay. 

Also, got my 4 tattoos today for radiation - it was fine, I think everything post-chemo is easier.  I start in 2 weeks for 25 sessions.  I am looking at the rads board but this board is my HOME with you ladies xoxo

Poke

LouBar: I thought of you too, since you'll need a place to stay when you come down Thanks for liking the page! What's a tattoo for radiation?

Toots

Poke - looking for the Facebook page but have not been able to trace yet - will keep trying and certainly like and share once I do - great idea honey x

Start radiation in 4 weeks from last chemo so heading fast, three weeks for weekdays, get the weekends off, due for scans and tatoos in preparation - waiting for appointment to appear.............oncologist has said there will be 2 tatoos, once where the scar is from surgery, one at collar bone, so they know where to ZAP it and it is always in same place.............

....keep checking rad boards but it feels so safe here with you ladies............so much water undr the bridge........support and care x

lots of hugs to all x