An ode to the most beautiful woman in my life.

parulg

They're obviously many simliar topics here already, but didn't feel right to intrude in someone else's space. I was traveling a lot recently and after a 15 hour flight back from New York back home, while I was really jetlagged, my brother broke the news to me. Our mom's been diagnosed with Breast cancer. They didn't tell me all this while because I was traveling for work. I recently lost a friend to blood cancer, and a friend's dad is on his last stages. So cancer, has been on our minds for sometime now, but never did I imagine it would catch up with my own mom. 

The thing is we live in different countries, so the distance is making it very difficult for me to cope. Its been two days since I found out and the sudden realization comes upon me in the strangest of time and places. I have been breaking down in market places, at work, while standing in queue for coffee..I just can't stop thinking about her. Of coure I will be with her in another few days. But the fact that distance exists, is going to make it very very tough.

 Today she found out that she is in stage 2b 3a. I have tried reading up on it, but just cant seem to pass through the stage where it says it will come back eventually. The thing is, its unbelievable how strong she is being. When I speak to her on the phone, I can sense the smile on her face. And I end up breaking down every single time. She even told me today that if i cry once more, she will not call me again. When I asked her if she wanted anything from here when I visit her, any medicines, anything, all she wanted me to carry were my dad's favourite biscuits. I am not doubtful at all that she will come out of this even stronger. Her chemo begins in a week and she will still be as beautiful for me as she has always been.  

elimar86861

It's normal to have an initial freakout, but I think as you get more information, you will find that all is not lost here.  While there are no guarantees, at that stage your mom has pretty good odds to not have the cancer come back after treatment.  I think you will find this site particularly helpful, especially because you will have lots of questions and you might not get a chance to talk to your mom's doc directly as often as you would like to.  Have a good visit with your mom and I think you will end up not feeling so panicked. 

parulg

Thank you! That helps a lot I will continue reading up and talking to people about this as much as I can.

dlb823

parulg, I'm so sorry about your Mother's diagnosis, but don't lose heart!  So much of what you read on the internet, including survival stats, is based on women who were treated 5, 10, 15 or more years ago.  Women being treated today do much better! Stage 2, even Stage 3A, is considered early stage breast cancer, and while there's always a possibility it can come back, my oncologist who has been practicing for 30+ years says that doesn't happen nearly as much now as it use to, thanks to today's new generation of meds.  

If your Mother is in the US, she'll probably get excellent care.  If she's not, you may want to post where she is for ideas and suggestions from others who are familiar with the health care system wherever she is.

And I totally agree about the crying!  She knows you love her and are concerned about her, but unless she doesn't get medical care, she should be fine.  But she will need treatment, and worrying about you isn't going to help her stay strong and focused on getting well!  You need to stay strong so that she can!  So maybe have a good cry if you need to before you get on the phone with her, but then let her talk about what's going on and listen for ways you can help and support her, even from a distance.  

(((Hugs))) and it should get a lot easier for you all when the initial shock eases and she has a treatment plan in place.   Deanna