Very Scared Daughter

danlias

Please excuse the other post title...

 Hello,  For the past few weeks I have been reading on your boards and unfortunately, it's time for me to post.

We just found out yesterday that my mom has breast cancer.  It's been a long two weeks of testing and waiting but after playing phone tag all day with the doctor and nurse, I was finally able to talk to someone myself. My mom was very vague when she called yesterday morning and I guess I needed to hear it myself (and my mom was very nervous and I was afraid she didn't hear everything that was said). They said she has Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. They can't tell us what stage it is and that more tests need to be done. I guess they have to test to see if it's anywhere else in her body. But that she is responsive to estrogen, if that's the silver lining in all this? Anyway, we go see the surgeon on Thursday afternoon.

She's upset, naturally, but doesn't seem to be taking it as a death sentence. I know she's a fighter. And the nurse said that attitude is everything with this. She said she's seen people bring on more problems just because they were thinking negatively.

I've been doing a lot of research, probably a little too much, but from what I've been reading, changing your diet and exercising can help in all this. I keep reading that she should stay away from meat, dairy and processed foods and to eat more of a plant based diet. Is this a good suggestion? I know I have to have faith in the doctors and the medicine but I want her to do as much as she can to fight this. 

Honestly, I have no idea where to begin with all of this.  Any suggestions you can provide will be greatly appreciated.

 Thanks, Jo

Margi1959

Hi Jo,

My mum was first diagnosed in 1995 and she lived with this beast until 2011.  After her first surgery (lumpectomy) she totally changed her diet - cut out all red meat and ate very well.  She was able to keep it at bay until 2003 when she had a recurrence on her chest wall, so total mastectomy on the right side.  Again, just diet - no chemo, no rads.  It didn't surface again until 2011 but unfortunately, this time it was metastatic everywhere.  I fully believe that her attitude and diet really did extend her life.  Support your mom in whatever path she chooses and be her advocate when you can with the docs.

Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  Stay strong!

Margi

Linda1966

Jo, at this stage I think you need to wait till you get some solid information on what your mother is facing. I dont know your mum, but I honestly think that this period of time while she is trying to get her head around being dx with BC is not the best time to advise her to change her diet and to start exercising as she may well take that the wrong way and feel like she brought the BC down on herself. Last thing any of us need is to feel guilty as our minds do go down that path. I realise that wouldnt be your intention, but when we are first dx, we can become a bit paranoid as to why us, what did we do, how has this happened etc and that sort of thinking can become a viscious cycle that just doesnt let up.

If your mum has chemo in her future, you could perhaps prepare healthy balanced meals for her. I couldn't stand the smell of food during my chemo and my mum would prepare a small healthy meal at her house and bring it over to me. In my case it was generally about a tablespoon each of 3 vegies and a small portion of protein. The exercise could be going for gentle walks as she recovers from surgery, radiation or chemo to keep her circulation going and to help keep her strong in between treatments. Should she choose to completely change her lifestyle post treatment, then having company while exercising and eating healthier would be more than welcome Im sure.

At this stage though, she just needs someone she can talk to and who will listen to her. If you can stay strong for her so she can feel like she can tell you her worries openly and honestly without overly upsetting you, that is invaluable in my opinion. If she see's you getting depressed, it may make her feel like she has to bottle it all up inside as no mother wants to upset her child. 

Im so sorry your mum and family are going through this, but hopefully you both will be able to gain a lot of support and information from these forums that may help to ease your path through all of this.

P.S To get helpful information on your diet suggestions you might want to post a question in the complimentary or alternative forums as many of the ladies who post there have done extensive research.