Getting into nursing home-how does it work?

nevertoolate

I am renting and will see the end of my money in about 2 years.  Since I'm stage iv, I'd like to think I'll go into a nursing home.  My friend wants me to live with him so he can take care of me for the rest of my life. I don't think he knows what's involved physically and emotionally. Staying with someone would also be a burden on my family.

If I have no money and if I live with someone, will it affect my chances of getting into a nursing home? As I recall, my mother, who was very ill, wound up in the hospital and they were going to send her home until they found out that she lived alone. Then, they sent her to a nursing home for the rest of her life.

I would like to be able to tell  my friend that what he considers a kindness will interfere with my going to a nursing home.   Any other strong argument would be helpful.

If no one knows, can you direct me to where I can get an answer.  Thank you.

kathleen1966

How old are you?  My Nana lives in a "low income housing" complex.  She pays very little (about 150 per month) and this is based on your income. It is actually a very nice place with other seniors and there are lots of activities.  The grounds are also nice. They have a lot of precautions in place in case you have a  fall, etc...a string type thing in the bathroom if you fall and cards you have to put on your door daily so everyone knows you are ok.  I also worked in a complex like this here in Pittsburgh (My Nana lives in NY). This complex had a jacuzzi tub, work out room, porches and very nice grounds.  It is NOT an assisted living facility or a nursing home or even a complex where low income families live.  It is generally for the elderly but there were a couple of younger disabled people living in the complex where I worked as a computer room teacher.  There was a man with MS who was in his thirties and one woman in there who was 62 and in perfect health, just very little money. Where do you live?  I think this could be a good option for you. There are a lot people living in these complexes who are in treatment for cancer and other ailments but are still basically able to care for themselves. I hope this helps.  It is not fair to have to worry about money in our lives.....

kathleen1966

Sorry, I see that this is in the Palliative/Hospice area but your post does seem that you are actually NOT at this point at the moment? I hope you get good advice soon.  Mine may not be all that helpful. My advice was from the stand-point that you are doing relatively well now and may do well for years to come and you are planning for the distant future....

nevertoolate

Kathleen, thank you for responding. I understand the part about low income housing. I'm in my 70's and have Stage IV.

My concern is that, if I live with someone else, would that stop me from being able to get into a nursing home?

If you need a nursing home, they will not let you in if they believe you already have someone to take care of you.

Is this true? I think it was for  my mother.

itsjustme10

I think you need to look at your state/county/city rules for qualifying for Medicaid, and then apply it to your situation.  It seems weird that they wouldn't let you qualify because you're living with a stranger (defined as someone not related by blood, adoption or marriage).  I guess if they lump his income in with yours it could conceivably affect your eligibility, but if he's a roommate, not a relative, check if you have to report his income as your own.  If you were renting a room from him, would you have to?  That doesn't make sense...just thinking out loud, definitely check with the most local level of social services in your community.

The above was an assumption based upon you stating that you would be running out of money - I assume that's part of your estate plan, to qualify for Medicaid? 

Here's the catch - even though you are Stage IV, that doesn't mean you are imminently in danger of dying, and need a skilled nursing facility.  I think the answers you got from Kathleen make more sense - look for senior subsidized low income housing until you have to have a nursing home.

raro

Just a thought...our state has a "Council on Aging" department. I think many states do. I see their office every time I go to the onc and never paid much attention to it. But I think they handle issues like this and might be able to help you. Like I said, just a thought. You might want to google it for your state.

QCA

I would definitely find out what programs are available in your state.  It would appear that you would need to be qualified for Medicaid as others have said.  I worked with Social Services in NC for almost 34 years and who you're living with would not be an issue here unless you were a dependent of that person, and even then not if you are both adults and unmarried.  I would think that any assets, property, etc belonging to your friend would not affect your eligibility for any program.  By all means, check it out with your local DSS and I'm sure they would advise you.  Good luck!

Beckers

Nevertoolate, what about a social worker. I go to a cancer treatment center and they have a social worker there. Good luck to you and I hope you find a cozy nursing home. I know hospice has a lot of resources too. They pay for everything.

nevertoolate

Lots of good ideas.  I'll look up council on aging and I'll see about a social worker. I have an appt. with a doctor/therapist that I saw years ago. I'm hoping he can  help.

 Thank you all for your input.

Beckers

Good luck to you! Like I say, I hope you end up somewhere cozy that feels like home.

rakulynda

Never too late - so sorry you have to worry about $ as well as the cancer crappola! Since you are stage Iv, you will automatically qualify for SSDI Although there is some sort of wait time between the date you are qualifed and the date of first chek in your hands - 6 months I think. Asking for "compassionate care" will signal SS to push your case through. Medicare will not kick in for 2 years after your qualifying date. If you are already on SSA, forget about SSDI.

As I qualify for almost all of the low income programs, I get lower prices on meds 2.20 for generic, 6.50 for name brands), my state pays the $99 mo. cost for Medicare and usually qualify for "write-off" by most hospitals.

The secret to being "poor" is to not have any assets such as investments, land, rental properties and huge bank accounts. Hope some of this pertains to you so can get the care you need.
Much luck to you,
Lynda







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