Diagnosed < 24 hrs ago with Stage 3 IDC!!

alcb70

Hi all! I am 42, and an RN.  Unfortunately, when something like this happens, my RN is a blessing and a curse!  I am trying to hold it together, but failing miserably.  My tumor....well one of them is > 3.5cm. What they thought (and told me) was a pos lymph node, I saw on my path report is suspected to be another tumor. (not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing??)  To make matters worse...we were due to move to Knoxville this morning!  My husband got transferred, our home is sold, new one waiting on closing, we're set for corporate housing, and THIS happens!  I am now staying in Raleigh to see a very respected surgeon for consult on Wed. and to get a referral to a surgeon & oncologist in Knoxville.  As I said, being an RN is a blessing and a curse.  I "get" medical reports and know more than the layperson, but when it's you....and it's CANCER......your brain fries!! (and I haven't even had chemo yet to have chemo brain!) I would appreciate anyone with similar diagnosis to help me figure out what to expect. Too soon to know staging & even too soon to have the final path report to know hormone receptors.  I do know I am 9/9 on the grading scale. The worst was telling my family yesterday.  My heart broke for their fear....not for mine.  I have been with my husband for 25 years, and we just have to clue how to survive without each other for even a day......the thought that I could die from this is beyond any comprehension. Like all of you, this was NOT in my plans! Any help, advice, encouragement is so appreciated!!! This is going to be a long journey and it's overwhelming to think it's just getting started. Thank you!

chrissyb

Hi alcb and welcome to BCO. So sorry you need to be here but glad you found us. There are heaps of stage III girls here and I'm sure they will be along shortly to give you their view of what to look for as you wend your way through your dx of BC. I just wanted to welcome you and send you (((((((hugs))))))).



Love n more hugs. Chrissy

Beckers

Alcb70,



I'm so sorry that you are here, but this is a great place to be for BC. The women on these boards are so supportive and you will learn so much. It has really helped me cope. It doesn't sound like our cases are similar so I can't advise you as to what to expect but I was up late and just wanted to welcome you here and extend a ((hug)). Probably the first of many.



I hope you get better than expected news and I wish you peace while waiting for results and treatment plans. Hang in there.

Racy

alcb70, like the other ladies who have posted, I'm just saying hi, we understand what you are going through, and there is truly no better place for information and support.



Keep posting and let us know how things are going for you. You will get heaps of excellent advice.

Elizabeth1959

I sent you a private message.

Elizabeth

bluepearl

While 9 out of 9 on a grading scale is an aggressive cancer, chemotherapy is usually fanatstic in killing exactly these types of cancer. Diagnosis of cancer usually knocks everyone out of their shoes, no matter who they are and while you know quite a bit of the medical information, I suspect you will be looking up your tumor profile on the Internet...words of advice...make sure the information is current and from a well respected source! And then remember, we are not statistics, we are people and our cancers are individual to each of us. There are many women with stage 3 cancers alive and well many years after diagnosis and some who have passed after a stage 1 diagnosis. I am hoping you can come through this with flying colors but it does take some deep reflections to get through and should NEVER be done alone. Others who are fighting this disease are a great source of comfort and hope. Wishing you well!!!!!

Denise-G

alcb70, I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I can understand how being an RN can be a blessing and a curse.  But as you say, when it is you, your brain fries.  And moving in the meantime. . .I don't know what to say.

Almost one year ago, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 - it is so overwhelming.  Someone told me you will give a year to cancer.  It certainly has been that, but the good news is, I survived and so will you.  Without all these women on the BCO Discussion Boards, I don't know how I would have gotten through.  But I did with their help, and you will.

If I had to list the positives about Stage 3 is that you have very few choices.  The book is thrown at you and I look back and am thankful.  I did not have to make some of the really tough decisions other women do in Stage 1 or 2 like to chemo or not to chemo.  

Praying for you and your family.  I am so sorry.  Denise

alcb70

Thank you all so much!  I have wonderful support from family and friends, but you all know what I'm going through and the things I'm thinking.  There are so many things I just can't say to my husband and children. I will be here daily, if not twice at the beginning (even if I don't post like -RayRay said!  I appreciate you all giving your time and stories! XO ~Andrea

Katharine2411

I am so very sorry to hear about your cancer! I too have stage 3. Like you, it rocked my worLd. I'm several months into it now and had a double mastectomy and am on my third round of chemo.



I've learned that I have GREAT neighbors and family. I am humbled by the number of people who want to help. Sure, I had several friends and family run for the hills when I told them, and that hurt a lot, but some people can't handle it. If this happens to you, forgive them and let them go. I really believe that hate and anger won't help me right now. So I let them go. Keep your mind positive and focused on your healthy future. I was also determined to have minimal side effects so I keep saying I am getting through this gracefully and peacefully. The mind is a powerful tool!!! I keep my mind focused on minimal side effects. Cancer may have chosen me, but I get to choose how I'm getting through this! And I choose the fast lane to health!! I choose to have minimal side effects.! I choose to live! Good news is that it seems to be working. I'm sick for a few days after chemo but its beeen ok. Hated losing my Hair but I'm alive and damn proud of it!!! Plus I intend to stay that way! You will too!!! I know you can do this!!!!

Onelife2012

I am so glad you found this site.....it will help you immeasurably. I understand what you mean about being an RN....I was a Radiographer and my husband was a Physician.......I knew way too much.



I was diagnosed with a 5.5 cm tumor that was actually protruding out of my chest. I had a lumpectomy and had 4 out of 10 positive nodes. It was stage 3 b , grade 3 . Triple neg. I was terrified....my path report said , ."prognosis grave".

I was 39.



I went into action, I researched the crap out of it , got in touch with survivors and told myself I could fight this. I would do this.....whatever it took...I did it. Even went to the States for a second opinion. ( turned out to be the same , but worth the trip anyway)



That was 11 years ago!! I have had the most amazing 11 years. I saw both of my girls graduate, something i never thought I would live to see happen. You have to be proactive and take charge.



Unfortunately, the treatment I did caused another cancer to grow in what remained of my breast. But, I had a mastectomy ( not that bad, trust me) and because this tumor was smaller, less aggressive and ER positive....I will take Tamoxifen. I was terrified when I was diagnosed this time too but this site and all of the amazing ladies helped me. I felt less afraid.



Please let us know how you are.......good luck with the move, hopefully it will keep your mind busy. Please feel free to IM if you want.



Lots of love and hugs
Xoxoxo

Chrisrenee77

Hi Andrea,

Welcome to our club! I just joined this website a few days ago. I too work in the medical industry, been there 16 yrs. I was diagnosed may25,2012, and I thought I was going to die. My world came crashing down on me, because at 35 I was Not supposed to be deciding on lumpectomy, single mastectomy or double mastectomy. Hell honestly my family and I were putting the finishing touches on our vacation, one that we had never been able to afford. Then it turned into telling my kids 16 & 11 that I had cancer. That part really sucked. The only two things that will get you through this is a positive attitude and open communication with your spouse and family. Sometimes reading the information on the internet is worse and scarier than what it is. Make sure you find a great cancer advocate, they will have better info for you to research and better reading material. I was blessed when I got mine. She was with me every step of the way going through my process. If you would like to talk feel free to private message me. If not good luck with your treatment and healing and the great women on these forums are very helpful and willing to listen.

- Christy

Chrisrenee77

Hi Andrea,

Welcome to our club! I just joined this website a few days ago. I too work in the medical industry, been there 16 yrs. I was diagnosed may25,2012, and I thought I was going to die. My world came crashing down on me, because at 35 I was Not supposed to be deciding on lumpectomy, single mastectomy or double mastectomy. Hell honestly my family and I were putting the finishing touches on our vacation, one that we had never been able to afford. Then it turned into telling my kids 16 & 11 that I had cancer. That part really sucked. The only two things that will get you through this is a positive attitude and open communication with your spouse and family. Sometimes reading the information on the internet is worse and scarier than what it is. Make sure you find a great cancer advocate, they will have better info for you to research and better reading material. I was blessed when I got mine. She was with me every step of the way going through my process. If you would like to talk feel free to private message me. If not good luck with your treatment and healing and the great women on these forums are very helpful and willing to listen.

- Christy

liefie

Dear ALCB70,

A woman I know well was diagnosed at 43 with Stage 3 Inflammatory breast cancer, the worst one to get, had positive lymph nodes, and the prognosis was really bad. She had a BMX, did aggressive chemotherapy, got radiation, and is doing amazingly well today. All of this happened TEN YEARS AGO. Don't give up hope, take charge, fight the beast, and you will be there for your family. This is a temporary road block. ((((HUGS!))))

mrskimber47

Hi alcb70

I too am recently diagnosed, just got through right mastectomy and reconstruction. Path report yesterday, two types of cancer stage IIIa 14 nodes removed, 5 with cancer.

I think what happens to all of us EVENTUALLY is the shock begins to subside and slowly, it sinks in. I've resigned myself to fighting not dwelling. I haven't gone through chemo or rads yet, chemo starts in October. I know that each new experience will change me in one way or another, but hopefully all of this will teach me to love and care for the people in my life more thoroughly... There's no time like the present to get it right.

You be strong and lean on us for your support and understanding. You will need that, I know I have. (((hugs))) 

Mimidi

I found I had IDC November, 2010.  I had a mastectomy and reconstruction.  Then chemo and radiation.  I finished these treatments in August, 2011.  I am taking Femara.  Today I got another NED (no evidence of desease).  All my markers were great.  Now on to the scans in January, 2013.

Alcb70 I just wanted to pass this information to you to give you encouragement.  I was walking in your shoes nearly two years ago.  It is not an easy road ahead of you but it is doable.  You will survive!!!!!  You will find so much support on this forum.  I don't visit here too often anymore but reading all the posts sure helped me through my treatments.

fredntan

Waving hello from a fellow nurse.



Been in your shoes.



I never thought I could be a nurse again. I took many months off for sx, then chemo, then rads. I wentback to work finally this summer. I was a basket case. Put in for my re

tirement( i am 45) or resignation. I couldnt leave. Stayed(my nurse manager never sent my letter of resignation off) I am a nurse again. Soon to be a patient in 13 days for my diep sx. Not sure why i am telling you all this. I have even better connection with my patients now.

mgdsmc

Hello!

Im an RN to and understand exactly how you feel. Im 43 years old as well with stage 3. Im a cardiac RN so dont really deal with active cancer patients in for that diagnosis. This experience had educated about BC and was much harder because im the patient this time. One good thing about me was i worked float pool and would work the cancer unit so got lots of advice fron the oncology nurse. If i really was understanding or just need support i always called the floor and they would talk and explain things to me.

im almost done last chemo is 10/2/12 than surgery. I made it and must say wasnt as bad and scary as i thought not that it was easy but doable. You will be fine and we both will be on survivor boards before you know it! 

Hattie

Hi, i also had a big $&@&amp;$)/1 tumor but that was 7 years ago and i really thought i would be gone long before this. Lots of luck, research, treatments and life in the meantime and i am still,here living it to the max. Support is key, here and face to face. And just take your next step forward and don't look back. Too much info or not enough? Cancer is scary either way. Keep breathing, and living. You can do this.

Take care,



Hattie

karody

Yah, it is like having the wind knocked out of you.  I was diagnosed at age 35 with stage III.  I am have had three birthdays since then and intend to have many more.  If it makes you feel like you have some shred of control, go ahead and research every bit of your medical chart all night long.  For some of us type A people ignorance is not bliss .  I have always worn my hair long and it is long again now, two and a half years after my last chemo treatment.  I will never wear a wig again, even if I lose my hair again.  It is hot and uncomfortable.  So many people told me of someone they knew who did chemo without missing a day of work and felt great, that when my blood counts plummeted and I felt awful and couldn't work, I felt like a failure.  Well, I am here to tell you, I have yet to meet all these people who did chemo who never missed a day of work.  Everyone I know who has done chemo felt like shit, including me!  And you must know, there are different chemo regimens.  For stage III, you are going to get the big dogs and there will be side effects.  I will tell you what I wish I could go back and tell me three years ago:  it is going to suck, but you are tough and you will get through it.  There will be days you can not imagine feeling good again, but you will.  Having a positive attitude does not mean you aren't allowed to have side effects, sometimes it means you endure them.  Even the days when you can't get out of bed, you can find happiness in someone you love.  Find some happiness every day!

Mardibra

Well, I'm one of those gals. Never missed a day of work. It was not easy, many days I felt like crap but I trudged through and did it. Like all stage III gals, I had the big guns thrown at me too. AC/T dose dense. I was lucky that i didn't have any blood count issues. Also, i have an office job so i wasnt lifting boxes or driving heavy machinery either! If I had a physical job I would not have been able to o it. No way.



I'm a control freak too. I researched quite a bit. My personality would not allow me to just blindly follow a doctors instructions. However, if that's your style it's also understandable.



You will do just fine!

mgdsmc

Wow! I'm impressed that you guys worked through chemo. I haven't worked one day since march of 2012. I don't feel like a failure just didn't have to so I didn't. My chemo wasn't bad at all. I have always drove myself to and from since treatment one and its an hour each way. Never got nauseated vomited nor lost weight. The first AC made me want to sleep all day for the first 3 days after that was back to normal. I was given zofran and pherergan for nausea. I would take one every 2 hours rotating between the 2 maybe that's why I never vomited or felt like I had to.

I kinda feel like a baby now that I'm thinking of you guys working through treatment.

alcb70

Well, made it through the first treatment. Slept through most of it because of the anesthesia from having the port placed just before treatment.  I also commend those who can do this and continue work through the whole thing.  Even if I had still been working in a hospital when I was diagnosed ....I would imagine it would be very difficult.  Besides the exposures for nurses, there's no room for fatigue or confusion.  I know financially it will be hard, but I'm grateful for the time to rest if I need to, call people I need to and take appts when it's convenient to me and not to my work schedule.  That being said I think you really need a distraction.  I talked to the American Cancer Society reps at my cancer center & I offered to volunteer in their resource room once I figure out how I'm going to be feeling. I hope it's the right amount of both, and maybe by being on campus of the hospital and meeting MD's, maybe I can set up work once I'm through this. Thank you everyone for wonderful encouragement. I am feeling better. The shock has worn off & I am getting my facts in order (yes, I most definitely pick apart my medical records!).  I still have moments when I cry, but as it was from the beginning, it's mostly for what my family has to endure. Next good cry will be when I shave my head. Not from vanity, but because then the first people will see about me is that I'm sick, and my family will see it as well. I will get through this, and all the wonderful encouragement and support I've received here has helped so much!

mgdsmc

alcb70

Glad to hear you are feeling better. I understand how you are feeling about your family because I felt the same way. The only thing I can say is they love you and won't care about how you look. I remember when I lost my hair It was hard because as you said that's when you will look like a cancer patient. I cried and it was hard but as time went on it got easier. Yes you will get through this