Hello!

dauntless

Hello everyone, it has taken me a while to introduce myself, but I think the time has arrived! I was diagnosed in June and, after surgery in July, learned I'm stage 3C due to 10 positive nodes.  Even though my oncologist has been exceptionally positive-- he looked me in the eye and said, "we cure stage 3 cancer every day!"-- it still is the one thing that scares me, that made my cancer diagnosis feel painfully real and not like something that would be a brief hiccup. My first round of chemo was August 15. I'm 36 with young kids-- 3- and 6-year old girls-- and also (try!) to work full time. It's been rough but we're carrying through. I have 6 rounds of TAC, spaced 3 weeks apart.... I hope to complete this phase around the end of November and then move on to radiation.

The first round... well, now that it is 15 days in the past and I'm feeling better I can say it was manageable. But honestly it was pretty miserable! I had strong flu-like symptoms for a solid 3 days starting the night after treatment. Days 4 and 5 afterwards were better but still rough. I'm hoping next time will be a little better. I kept food down and was pretty hungry (thanks, steroids) but the headaches, dizziness, restlessness and aches were tough. Plus being so helpless at home with active kids running around!! Then, insomnia for a good week, which I hope to resolve next time around with some ambien.

I've started to lose my hair-- very pronounced today. I'm not attempting to retain it with cold caps as the aggressive nature of my tumor and the number of involved lymph nodes makes me want to be sure the chemo is reaching every little bit of me. I expect to be cutting my hair off this weekend. On the one hand, I'm devastated... on the other, I almost want this scary moment to be behind me so I can stop worrying about it and move on.

Looking forward to getting to know all of you and beating cancer together.

MaxineO

Dauntless- So sorry you had to join us, but welcome.  You are right, the prospect of losing your hair is, in a lot of ways, worse than when it actually happens. 

My girls were 7 & 8 at my diagnosis (I was 38), and I also worked (or tried to) full time through my treatment. Don't push yourself too hard if you don't feel up to it.  The doctors always say that you have to give up a year to cancer.  And it's true, life does go on after that year, and many things pick up where you left them off.

I had A/C chemo first, and the first treatment was my worst, for sure.  The others were still rough, but not as bad. The switch to taxol was much easier for me.

It's true, people beat stage III cancer every day! There are lots of ladies on this board with even more nodes who are many years out and living full lives. And you can be one of them.  Just keep moving through those treatments.

Wishing you welcome and recovery!

Karina121293

Hi dauntless!!! Glad you introduced yourself because you will meet supportive, understanding, knowledgeable ladies here. I was diagnosed two years ago and doing pretty good!!! Chemo was tough (I had 10 of them), losing hair and SE too. Though my kids are much older than yours, it was still hard. But trust me, it is manageable. I had different SE with each round, but survived. So will you!!!! You can find many inspiring stories on this forum. Please come here often and let us know how you doing. We really care. 

Hugs to you and all the best with the treatment.

mgdsmc

I'm so sorry you are going through this but this site is wonderful! Lots of support from women who can understand how you feel and what you are going through.

I'm amazed at all the women who continue to work while getting chemo, feel like a wimp because I haven't worked since my surgery in March.

I remember going into surgery stage 1 and coming out stage 3! I was so upset shocked and scared. Chemo wasn't a sure thing prior but afterwards no question. I was so afraid of the SE from it and wasn't looking forward to looking like a cancer patient. You know all the sad looks and stares people give you.

I had AC x 4 every 2 weeks started may 23. It wasn't bad at all. I never got nauseated, weak, didn't need transfusions nor WBC booster. My first treatment just wanted to sleep for the first 2 days. Started weekly taxol x 12 in July and only have 5 more to go. No issues at all. I have drove myself to and from every single treatment since May an hour each way.

Hearing stage 3 is scary but knowing its curable helps me deal and hearing stories of women who have been where I'm at is encouraging.

Good luck to all

patti13

dauntless - you will get thru this - i too was diagnosed stage111c.  it has been almost a year 1/2 since diagnosed.  finished with rads 11/11/11...there are still times when i feel tired - but it IS getting better!  got my first haircut last week!  telling you this b/c you too will be here next year thinking - did it!  hang in there and give yourself lots of down time.  now is not the time to expect too much of yourself.  hoping you have some help with children...also, this site helped me to a great deal when was feeling disconnected.

dauntless

Thank you all for your encouragement! My work is with computers and I'm able to work from home, so working through treatment is definitely my preference. It also provides a level of distraction.  I'm using a lot of leave while recovering, but not nearly as much as I would if I had to travel to work or if my work was more physically challenging.

 I often hear that younger women with breast cancer have more aggressive cancers, so I suppose that is my story.  I still seems shocking and unreal that this has even happened.  My tumor was exceptionally small, but lymph node involvement very high.  My oncologist told me that sometimes the breast tissue isn't very hospitible, and given my lymph nodes were right next to the tumor they must have seemed much more cozy! I can't believe that I was living my life, happy and seemingly healthy as can be, while this was going on.

I battle with anger and depression sometimes, but I have a lot of good days too.  I tend to be optimistic but you can't help but feel down when struggling through treatment or, even worse, daring to look online at things like survival rates.   

clariceak

Dauntless - I'm also 3c and when I started 3 years ago my kids were 10 and 8.  One of the benefits of being Stage III is they throw the strongest treatment at you.  There is no gray zone.  You may want to ask about receiving Zometa treatments.  Many of us are receving Zometa now because there is some evidence to suggest that it may help prevent bone mets.  I know that Pure went to a cutting edge onc at Duke and she received Zometa along with chemo. Others are taking melatonin which is a relatively benign diabetes drug which shows promise for reducing reoccurence.

Taking Ambien  may help counteract the effects of steroids which include restlessness, insomnia, mood swings and depression.  Your feelings are not all an a result of your dx.  Steroids are powerful drugs and I asked my onc to have the dosage reduced.  

Try not to look online.  The survival rates do not reflect current data or treatment and lump everyone together regardless if they followed protocol, had other health issues. etc.  If you follow the tagged thread at the top of the page for Stage III 5 years check in, you'll see that many women are doing welling despite a Stage III dx.

This board will be your best support system.   Welcome.

dauntless

Thank you calriceak, those are great suggestions. I will ask my onc about zometa and mealtonin.  I just picked up an ambien prescription! The list of potential side effects was a little scary, but better than insomnia for a week.  Then I wondered, could I take one every eight hours and sleep through the chemo SE? Ha ha...  I think I had a hard time with the steroids. I'm a small person-- less than 100 pounds, 5 feet tall-- and I really wonder about the dosage of many drugs for me.  I think the steroids made me get bad headaches and dizziness. I guess that's better than vomiting for 3 days, but... 

mgdsmc

I would be lying if I said I never got depressed or sad, I still do. No matter how postive I am at times when I'm alone I still cry. I don't have issues with chemo but still stage 3a BC. I was healthy living my life looking forward to sending both my girls off to college this month. I have been a single mom since 1999 and was trying to figure out how my life would be like living alone for the first time ever. Instead my girls and my life has changed forever.

I don't cry as much but sadness just comes out of no where. Sometimes I look out my window and wonder how many more sunrises or sunset I will see. Why me? what did I do to deserve this? Than I say to myself you are doing everything you can to beat this. Many women have been down this path and made it so will we! The road isn't easy but many woman paved the path for us to walk and survive

camillegal

Dauntless I'm sorry for u being here, but like it was said u're in a good place to vent, rant and when u have good days too. All of this is very overpowering but believe it or not it does pass.  And it's a good thing u can work from home, u can pace u'rself differently. All the women on here are so helpfil and knowledgeable (not me) but they are so any questions u ask away someone will answer, not me of course but rhey are great oh and I type like crap too. Be kind to u'rself and don;t get angry if u feel u can't do something just don't do it. Let the kids help some and they'll feel like they helping Mommy get better. So we're here anytime.

lkc

Hi Dauntless, It all sucks big time. But somehow we get through it. Come here often for support1

I did in the early days , and it was so reassuring,

I am " out:" 7 + yrs and doing great.

MandalaB

Hi Dauntless-

I'm sorry you have to be here, but we're glad you're here
It's a trip though-

 I too am your age (I'll be 36 monday)
with 2 young daughters (2 & 9) .....
Ain't easy and it's a crazy makeover.
Just gotta stay up. and laugh. a lot.
I wish you all the best in your travels through this.

xo

208sandy

The diabetes drug some are taking (although it hasn't been proven yet) is metformin (not melatonin - which is something people take for insomnia and is available OTC) you'll need your PCP or onc to get you a scrip for metformin.

caaclark

When I was diagnosed my daughters were 4, 6 and 8.  They are now 11,13 and 15!  I also had a small (1.6 cm) tumor but lots of DCIS and it was in a bunch of nodes.  One or two nodes had extra capsular extension.  It was all scary but somehow we get through it.  I think in a way, having young kids helps.  For me I couldn't just lay around and feel sorry for myself.  I had to at least attempt to look ok.

As far as the hair thing-I dreaded it for weeks and discovered that once it was gone it was sort of a relief.  Well, at least a relief from the anticipation of wondering when it would fall out.  I seriously never thought I would get through it all successfully but as you can see, many of us do.

Come here for support, advice or to vent.  The stage III women rock!

melmcbee

Dauntless, Im totally with you. Went in to surgery stage 1, had to have a dissection a month later and became stage 3. Or something like that it is kinda a blur sometimes. Either way its just a new normal we have to adapt to. I still look in the mirror and just dont believe that I am any different than I was before dx. And truthfully im not. I am still me. just with a few more scars and definitely a few more pounds. lol hugs to all

clariceak

Sandy - thanks for correcting my error on the metformin. 

dauntless

Thanks everyone. Odd, I didn't get email updates this weekend with all of your replies... did something break? lol.  

I cut off my hair last night!  It's a relief. Now I don't have to worry about what will happen what I lose my hair.. because it's gone! Getting ready for chemo round 2 on Wednesday.  I'll be asking my onc tomorrow about zometa and metformin. 

Karina121293

Good luck with the second round. Wishing it to go easy and without SE. 

mamabee

Hi dauntless (love your name!) -

I did TACx6 chemo earlier this year - my last Tx was the end of March. It was, as you say, "manageable", but not something I'd care to repeat. I hated the fuzzy, spaced out feeling I had during days 3-6, but the side effects of the chemo became a little easier for me to handle with each infusion (although the tiredness was cumulative - I'd compare it to how I felt when I was 9 months pregnant). I read through the chem tips threads on this board and the things that helped me most were (1) taking 24-hour Claritin the day and few days after my Neulasta shot - it really helped with the bone pain (2) drinking lots and lots and lots of water, even when it didn't taste good - especially during my infusions when I'd go through a 2 liter bottle of water, plus a couple of popsicles (3) exercising every day - including days 3,4 & 5 when all I wanted to do was lay on the couch, I'd at least try to walk around the block, do a load of laundry, make the kids lunch, anything to move a bit.

I too had trouble sleeping during chemo which was hard for me because I've always been a good sleeper. My MO gave me an ativan prescription - it helps with nausea too - and the infusion nurses suggested taking one at bedtime and then another when I woke up in the middle of the night. It worked well for me, and was no problem to stop when I didn't need it any more.

Mostly, though, I just want to assure you that you'll get through this, and you'll come out the other side healthy and strong. Hope #2 goes well tomorrow!