Mom is in hospice

mandapanda

We put my mother in hospice today. She's only 54. Any advice about hospice?

YramAL

Mandapanda-I don't have any advice but I'm sending hugs your way. My grandmother had hospice when she was dying from myelodisplasia, and my brother had hospice for Parkinson's. Hospice was a godsend for them and for the rest of the family. 

I'm so sorry. Hopefully someone will see this and have some more advice for you.

Mary 

Beckers

My father died of cancer in Mar. We brought him home and had hospice. The family was there. My Dad kept asking how long it will be and kept getting told no one knows but God type of answer. Well, the palliative care doctor had said it would be days after blood test results, based on kidneys shutting down, etc, so...I told my Dad he was probably in his last week and he was happy to hear this. Find out how your Mom is most comfortable now while she can tell you because you will have to eventually make sure she is comfy as possible once she's bedridden. Keep a journal of what she says. I wish so much I had. My Dad joked up to the end and I find myself wishing I could remember everything we talked about. You think you will remember at the time, but it's hard. My Mom has a lot of regrets for not talking to him more. At the time, she avoided talking about his death because she couldn't keep from crying. I wish I would have encouraged her to after seeing her pain now. We took pics on his last trip to casino ( which was his dying wish - he died 2 weeks from diagnosis so not a lot of time). I treasure the pics and memories even tho he doesn't look very healthy in them. Read about what happens and hospice will let you know when it is the end. We turned on country music, dimmed the lights and I had to be the spokesperson (as it was difficult for the other family members) and we told stories and reminisced about our happiest and funniest times. They say hearing is still intact even when you don't think they are aware. I saw evidence of that when I had my last time with him and told him what a great father he was, etc. And a tear rolled down his cheek. Also, he answered us once and made facial expressions as we talked. It was a painfully beautiful experience that I feel so blessed to have had. Also take advantage of getting a good nights sleep when hospice is there. Remember hospice is all about doing what makes her happy and most comfortable. My dad wanted to smoke a cig so we took him out, one day all he ate was a Sees chocolate, another day it was rocky road ice cream and not much but he was tired of doctors and it was his rodeo now. I loved hospice. I feel for you. God bless.

Beckers

I copied my post above that I had typed in response to another post....