Mom Adamant About Quitting Chemo

lunchbox

Mom Adamant About Quitting Chemo

lunchbox

Hi all, new to this place.  Didn't know where else to turn for advice.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier in the year and had surgery to remove it (stage 1, grade 3).  Everything went well and chemo began shortly after. 

For about a week after each treatment, Mom feels pretty bad (nausea, upset stomach, insomnia, etc.), which is to be expected.  Eventually, she feels better, usually just in time for her next treatment. 

She's done four rounds of chemo already, with two more to go.  This last round was a different kind of chemo though; less nausea but more pain in her joints/muscles/bones.  Today was an especially bad day for her.  Mom says she hasn't had a good night's sleep in months and I think she's getting depressed. 

Anyway, she's mentioned on some of her bad days that she wants to quit going to chemotherapy, but we (the family) manage to convince her to keep going.  This time seems different though; I think it's because of how much pain she's been in coupled with lack of restful sleep.  But either way, she's adamant about quitting chemotherapy. 

We're all really supportive of my mother, or try to be anyway.  I can't imagine what it's like to have breast cancer or chemotherapy (I am her 25 year old son), so I can't really understand first-hand the pain and discomfort that she is in.  But she only has two chemo treatments to go and it's in her best interest to do all six treatments yes?  She seems to think she'll be okay just doing the four, but that's not how it works, is it? 

I love my mom so much and I wish she would reconsider.  Does anyone have any advice for helping her stay on track?  I respect my mother's choices, it's her body, but I just feel like giving up on treatments is wrong, and might not effectively remove any lingering cancer cells.  

Leah_S

Lunchbox, your mother should speak to her doc about pain meds and other meds to deal with the side effects. That might help her tolerate the chemo so she can finish.

Best of luck.

Leah

ruthbru

If she can't sleep, have her ask for a prescription sleeping pill, and then use it. That is what I did. It is amazing how much better you can cope if you've gotten a good night's sleep. Best of luck to her and you too!

ZuriB

I was a stage 1 grade 3 and it has been a long and challenging 2 yr journey for me, finishing chemo november 2011 and have 32 more herceptin treatments. My first chemo treatment i thought i was dying. I didn't think it could be humanly possible to be in so much pain and live.  I couldn't sleep, eat and was in so much pain. I went to the ER the night of my first treatment.  But when I talked to my dr. the next day she informed me to start taking pain medicine in preparation for the side effects of the treatments. Normally 3 days after treatment the side effects kicked in.  I started taking pain medicine the 2nd after treatment. I was given medicine for nausea and sleeping pills.  Your mom should join a support group & join this foruum. 

What help me cope was educate myself about cancer, start my day with a inspirational song, prayer,staying positive, stay active, and kept determination that I would fight with everthing I had to be here for my son.  He kept me going and smiling and fighting each and everyday. I didn't believe it was far to put all of the stress of cancer and thinking is mom is going to die on his shoulder. So  I stayed positive and so did he.

Let your mom know its hard and at times and challenging but its doable. Remember staying active and positive and not sitting around letting this diagnosis take control of you or making you depressed. Fight with every thing you have to be here for you and your family.