rollercoaster emotions

Julie--MA

rollercoaster emotions

Julie--MA

I feel certain this will not be anything new to any of you, but I guess I just need a sounding board.

I had re-excision last week for DCIS grade 2.  Including my surgical biopsy, that made three surgeries in four weeks.  I just heard today that she got the final margin clean, which is such good news, but I am in tears.  I feel so torn--relieved that I am done with surgery, but just so spent from all of this and from now anticipating my next steps of radiation.

How do you all reconcile all these ups and downs?  I know it will end, but it is really taking its toll on me.  (I am a teacher, so radiation will begin just as my school year begins...an added stress.)

With thanks,

Julie  

ro-berta

Hi julie--MA  Take a deep breath, You and I had very similar experiences with biopsy to surgery to more surgery ect, give yourself a break  remember all these proceedures came quickly together not giving you time to just take a step back ( that is how it felt for me) bang ,bang , bang. It takes time while the physical part of cancer is being treated the emotional side takes time,hon. Just let it out. It will get easier and when you get your plan for rads in place it will ease up again. I guess what i am trying to say ( not so elequently) is your emotional side needs to get caught up with your physical part do you understand what i mean. So hang in girl it will even out. take care. You will also hear from lots more ladies.

Julie--MA

Ro-berta,

Thank you for your perspective.  I really like what you said about the emotional  needing time to catch up with the physical.  That makes A LOT of sense and is really helpful.  Thank you so much and best wishes to you.

Julie  

Janet456

Ro-berta you summed it up perfectly.  

Don't be to hard on yourself Julie - tears are the way of letting it all out.  You've been through a lot and it's probably the first occassion that you've been able to take a bit of a breather - so now it's all just caught up.

Hugs to you xx 

BLinthedesert

Just sending cyber hugs to you Julie ... it does catch up with you and you just have to let it out.

Julie--MA

Janet and BLinthedesert--thank you...

Julie  

sdstarfish

Julie, I'm so glad that you're on the final treatment hurdle.  I was just thinking about you in terms of your profession. You're a teacher, so you likely have a very giving spirit. Just be sure that one of the people you give to on a regular basis is you. Emotionally, you need to gift yourself with relaxation and recreation. Make a point of it. It really helps you process your emotions and breathe.

LAstar

Just hang on! It does get better. I had the same experience except I didn't get the clean margins & had bmx 8 weeks ago today. I read through my diary last night -- those months of research, hard decisions, & preparing for surgery were the worst! It's all so overwhelming, and I feel like I am still processing the diagnosis, much less the treatment! Even though I still have another surgery to complete my reconstruction, there is a lot of peace knowing that the worst part is over and the decisions are made. I hope that rads are easy for you. It will probably be so much better once it starts & the fear of the unknown is gone. Give yourself permission to be scared, pissed, & sad and let those emotions out! This completely sucks, but we will get through it!