My girlfriend and I fight, but I want to help her.

Psycht

My girlfriend and I fight, but I want to help her.

Psycht

We're both in out 30's and We've been together for almost a year and she was diagnosed 2 months ago. Surgery is over and chemo to begin soon. I'm her primary caregiver and I really try to help in any way I can. It's a very emotional challenge for her and she lashes out at me occasionally. Usually I can takes it, but lately it's getting harder because I can't seem to find the right way to help her in the way she needs.



I'm looking to find a local support group for me to join, but hoping I can get some wisdom here in the meantime. I love her very much, but sometimes I hit a wall and don't know what to say. I love to cook for her, clean, go for walks, etc... But I know that isn't all she needs.



Anyways, if you've been there or similar, I would like to hear your story. Wth chemo about to happen, I know things are still in the beginning stages of caring for her and worried what's to come.



Thanks,

J

jdootoo

Hi J, just be yourself. You are the person who can keep her connected with the real world. If you used to joke with her, keep joking with her. If you used to argue with her, keep argueing.

She will be tired and cranky... let her be. Don't let her be "cancer girl" in your eyes, let her be who she has always been. You don't need to do anything, just be how you have always been, but share your thoughts and fears with her, it will feel good for her to talk about them.

Do you have Netflix? Get "The Big C" and watch it with her. It is very funny, and spot on.

Thanks for being there for her, it means more than you realize.

One love, Jackei

eric95us

Just assume she's lashing out at the cancer.



As for what to do. Follow her lead or your instincts.



I try to surprise my wife by doing something unexpected and helpful...and letting her discover that she won't have to do it.



Eric