The Girl Who Cried Cancer

littletower

So at today's onc visit, I talked about my sore ribs and a spot right under my bc breast that is very tender and palpable. The vaccine trial at Hopkins has me getting a bone scan on 8/6, so today they did a series of x-rays. I would love to talk to one of my sisters or my husband, but feel like I'm always talking to them about some symptom I'm concerned about that could change things. It's been one thing after another, a CT scan that had me with liver mets, (2nd scan said hemangioma), blood in my stool, et , etc... I feel like a broken (anxious) and boring record. I just can't even bring myself to talk to them about this. I know you guys "get" it. So I'm telling you instead. Thoughts?

NancyD

Our worries overtake us all from time to time, and especially when we have symptoms that "could" be mets. I find I have to have something to do, a closet to clean, a movie to watch, a book to lose myself in or I would be constantly at my oncs door asking for a test.



Truth be known, except for the bloodwork he does every six months now, I haven't had a significant test in almost three years. No PET/CT, MRI or even a mammogram (no more breast tissue, just reconstruction using my belly fat). So I guess my method has worked..



Being in a trial is exactly what you need if you want to be scanned and tested on a "more than normal" schedule. You are being monitored more than non-trial patients, so any ache and pain should be thoroughly checked. Just remember that what you are doing is very important for the advancement of breast cancer research. Vaccines are the hope of future women. I hope nothing shows up that gets you removed from the trial.



But that all doesn't stop the aches and accompanying worries. That's where this board is a life-saver! Vent away, Adele!

Denise-G

Hi - as someone who is just finishing Rads next week after Mastectomy, Chemo, Herceptin, then heart trouble, Herceptin on hold, etc., I am starting to wonder okay, what next?   I have aches and pains left over from Chemo.  So how do I live with all this hanging over my head?   So far I had leg bone pain that went away, I've had heel pain, and a ton of food allergies left from Chemo.

I decided that I am going to wait 6 weeks if any "symptom" develops.  I got this from someone on another board.  I thought it was a good idea!

Littletower - I know you can have residual effects from Rads years later than can cause rib pain.  I've had the rib pain during Rads, but it has now gone away - well maybe it comes and goes, but they said it was from Rads. 

jennyboog

I will be two years out on the 28th and have had sore ribs since tx, on BC side.  It only happens if its pressed on and it's never got worst so I figure it's from rads.  You will reach that point where you don't worry over every little thing, it takes time though.  It took me just a few months ago to finally learn to let it go, it's hard but it does happen with time.  I have aches and pains all over still and after a while you learn what's from tx and what's new.  I tell myself...Ok, I have a pain here or there but my last scan/tumor marker was normal & it was happening then too....so it must not be anything.  Maybe it's not an accurate science but it helps keep me grounded and gets me through.  I'm sure after 8/6 you will feel better and you'll be able to do the same, let us know how it goes. Hope this helps, hugs.

Gitane

Your comment is so true, Littletower.  As much as I need to share things, I know it is too hard on the people I love to share with them.  Can't say I have anyone else to talk to about BC and maybe that's O.K.  What worries me, too, is that my poor body is aging so fast. I guess it's the treatment and the Femara.  I am glad we have this place to come and talk to others who have similar experiences. 

You have been through a lot with your scares.  Scans do turn up things that turn out to be nothing.  Lots of anxiety!! 

The whole idea of a vaccine is amazing.  I hope this trial turns out to have positive findings.   Let us know how you are doing and what you are experiencing.  And thank you so much for doing this, for all of us!

fredntan

Hi can you pm me the contact person for this trial? I did my rads up at johns hopkins andsaw dr. wolfe MO there. have been looking at the metformin clinical trial there, but wanted to find a vaccine trial.

My breast thing is sore uncomfortable from this damned TE.

DCMom

It is so hard to share my fears with my husband.  I completely understand the need to post here and to have someone I can say things to.  My husband tends to immediately overreact and wants me to immediately go in to see the oncologist, but these visits raise my stress to red levels.  He wants to take care of me and fix it, but so often it is just me panicking and then whatever it is goes away.  Two weeks ago (the day before my birthday) I had a horrible sore throat and the next day I have swollen lymph nodes in my neck on the non-cancer side.  Absolutely panicked, but kept debating about when I wanted to bring my husband into my nightmare.  I hate being the one that has to start the horror story and I hate being the one to pull the rug out from under him.  I spent two days trying to figure out how to tell him, how to prepare my kids, how this would change my daily life, you know all of those dark places.  Well then Dr. Google said not to worry about swollen lymph nodes in the neck if it followed a sore throat or a cold.  Well immediate mental peace and of course the next day my neck was all clear.  These days of fear are so mentally trying and I guess we are all trying to do the best we can.