Let the tests begin again

tamtam

Hi everyone

Just thought I would drop by and say hello again

Its been a year already and the appointments begin again arrrgggg, I was here last September and found comfort on these boards and reading posts from others that can relate in some way or another and thought I would return and say hi again. I was suppose to go and get another check up within six months of my last visit and have put it off until now (stupid I know) but i found the last time rather draining and got no where with anyone medical personel up here and can say my bubble was pretty much deflated and left with more questions than answers arrrggg. But its that time again and I have to go for my Ultrasound this thursday and I have a MRI scheduled in August, Im not sure if the thoughts ever really leave your mind about what if's ? Testing every year sucks but I understand why it is necessary but do you ever feel like you go through all the steps and have all the tests done and then you still feel like you know nothing or cant get any further ahead? I have been going through this each year and the test results change a little every year but it feels I dont know anymore now than I did a few years ago . You go through the steps and motions like your suppose to do but does it feel like what good will it do if the doctors wont talk to you or push you aside making you feel like your just a number or that your being silly? ohhh Im from Ontario Canada I have no doctor at the moment so I have to go to the emergency department for any medical attention or appointments or perscription refills, so a new doctor each time I go and each one feels differently about different things. I went in last fall and was told by one doctor that read my results and said to make sure I go back in for the six month check up but I put it off for a bit just from the fact I felt flustered right? So i put it off until about three weeks ago and said ok the one year point is here I have to suck it up and go back in to see if I can get the appointments required and I did but not before the doctor on call tells me he does not agree about the appointments and makes me feel its a waste of their time and this is a doctor that hasnt read any paperwork or looked at my file and knows nothing about me arrrgggg. So the frustration already begins with just making an appointment .......... 

I have had mammo grams, Ultrasounds, MRI with contrast and each will say something different, this time I have only requested the Ultrasound and MRI and we will see if anything has changed in a year I will keep my fingers crossed one more time and try not to get to flustered in the process of it all. I have very dense breasts, I am 46 years young lol have one child at the age of thirty and have many cysts and  multiple complex cysts in both breasts. To do a breast exam is like looking for  a needle in a haystack lol I have so many cysts I wouldnt be able to tell you if I had a new one or not and if I were to have them all removed I fear I would have no breasts left after lol Ok its not a joking matter but its the only way I know how to deal with it lol soooo you will see allot of lol on my typing sorry lol.  

Let the fears begin.........

 

MarysDen101

I know how you feel, Im in ontario as well. Brantford actually, and found that its better going out of town for test as I know my hosiptal here sucks and doesn't necessary have the best techs or drs. 

Im waiting for a mammo right now and another ultrasound to be done in hamilton.

Pm me if you would like to chat

I myself is 30 yr old and i do have another post on the board with some of my history, I have to children and a single parent. my children are 11 and 5. and both girls.. and keep me on my toes constantly.

Hope to hear from you soon

tamtam

Hi Marysden101

I go out of town for the MRI about 1.5 hrs from here but the ultrasound and mamos are done here in town (which is very small) The Techs here are great but wont tell you much of anything and you have to go through the back door to get your hands on any reports but when you do the reports seem to say so much more than what your doctor tells you? go figure lol and then when you have more than one test done each one tells you something different its very confusing and frurtrating.  I am originally from down by Cambridge Ontario but moved way up north in my teens, I have to say I love it up here but I dont like the small Medical facilities  we have here and the doctors we do have here are trainies or ones that just dont care anymore..... sad but true soooo we are left somewhere in the middle of "arrrgggg" and "what should I do next" lol  I always thought it would be better down near Brantford and beyond? 

I have a 16 year old son eeekkkk lol and I had him when I turned 30 and getting more grey hairs with each passing day lol  I am in a relationship with a great man and he has to little ankle biters lol one is 4 and the other is 6 (all boys) Im starting to feel out numbered lol The only other female in the house is our dog and I dont think she understands these type of issues lol. Girls would be great   at least the toilet seat would be done a little more often lol  Raising children on your own is a full time job in its own and to go through any type of scare with the breasts puts much added pressure to the top of the pile, how are you handling the waiting? 

barbe1958

tamtam, I hear you! You are lucky to skip the mammogram though. I've had a double mast and they STILL insist on doing a mammo first!!! Even though my doc specified ultrasound! I wouldn't let them touch my LE side even though she said she did LE all the time (don't think she knew what she was talking about!). So, big fight in the mammo room, but I won that round.

Were you assigned an Onc up there? I wasn't, but demanded one and got one 9 months after my BMX. I use her like a lifeline!! I just had abdominal ultrasound (have to get a mass surgically removed - waiting for surgeon to call), MRI of spine last Sat and a brain CT today!! Bone scan is scheduled for the 27th. Have you had a bone scan? I trust them more than ultrasound or MRI as they show if there is any activity in your body. (This is not bone DENSITY test, but bone SCAN).

Good luck, sweetie! 

MarysDen101

Tamtam- It is better in hamilton or Cambridge --- mostly the bigger cities because i find that they have more experience.  my mother had to even wait 4 days before they did surgery on her smaller intestines . like come on.... they sent her home the first time saying she has a UTI... like bull.... sry for the rant... It just makes me sooooo mad! and I found the tech who did my us to be quite honestly a big b. sorry for the words just having a really bad 3 weeks with stress... and babysitting nephew and my own kids , going to the bgh for my mom and then make sure everything is ok at home..... stress is a killer.

tamtam

Hi Barbe1958

Ahhh but the doctors here dont really care lol i asked got a bit of resistance but received the two appointments, Anytime you ask them anything its like your bothering them or taking up there oxygen lol I would rather skip the mamo lol unless its well timed during that month and my breasts happen to swell OMG painful besides the mamos always come back with the comment my breasts are too dense and they cant see everything so I thought I would save myself the pain of that test lol.  You are lucky you got to win a round lol I always feel like i leave the room with my tail tucked between my legs lol.  As for an Onc ?  I have heard that name before but what is that again? I have tried to be sent to a specialist and they cant be bothered, my test results were sent to a general surgion here in town because I no longer have a Doctor and I asked him if he could refer me to one and he turned around told me to take my top off and he felt my breasts for about two seconds and said nope you dont need one (my mouth was hanging open) thats our doctors up here and at the point I gave up.  I have never heard of a bone scan? You sound like you are going through quiet allot of stuff? How do you cope with everything ? specially with the health care system we have here?  I tried asking my old doctor some stuff and he use to look at me and say " who told you that? " he never liked being questioned and he never liked if you asked him to be referred to someone else arrrgggg.... I do not have any faith left in any doctors around this area at all   I have seen and heard to many stories here that people have tried to push for there health issues only to be turned down and sent home only to find out later that it something far worse and to late and nothing can be done at that point and the doctors shrug there shoulders and say well if only we new earlier!  They just dont listen to anything we have to say  

I will ask about a bone scan when I go for my Ultrasound on thursday and see if that exists up here or if someone will even listen. My aunt and my dad both had breast cancer and its still not a concern to anyone go figure. As for the MRI last time it showed what the mammo showed dense breasts and that it couldnt see through anything   so felt like i was back at square one  

Thank you for the good luch wish up here I will need it lol, I  am sending you big hugs and wish you luck on your upcoming surgery, I am whining about doctors appointments and here you are going through so much more, were do you get all your energy from?   and how do you get around all the bs of doctors and appointments?

big big hugs

MarysDen101

tamtam- they usually have a bone scan up here, you just have to make sure you are on their tails about getting you one. Thats what I have had to do call them every few days to see where its at.

Barb- we do have onc up here, but sometimes in small towns or cities we are referred else where and can wait for up to 2-3 weeks before gettin an apt . Im sorry you had to go through all that.  big hugs to you.  Did they do a biopsy for the mass in your stomach?

barbe1958

They haven't done a biopsy for the mass. They're just going to take it out and biopsy it then. As for Onc, that stands for Oncologist. Waiting a couple of weeks for an appointment isn't too bad. I've waited months, almost a year to see a back surgeon years ago!! Same with a Rheumatologist...months!!! There is just too many people around here and we're all aging.

Tamtam, you are still very lucky to skip the mammo, that's what I'm trying to say! Your doc is more advanced in some ways than those in Barrie where I go. Where are you located anyway? I find the health system pretty good for the fact that we don't have co-pays or any additional cost. Can you imagine dealing with cancer AND financial issues?

As for energy... I have NONE!!! I sleep 14-16 hours a day.

NEVER expect a doctor to care. That's not their job. Can you imagine a worker at McDonalds coming by to see if your fries were okay? It's just not part of their day.

tamtam

Good morning Marysden101 and barge1958

I am about two hours away from Timmins, Ontario in a town no one can pronounce at least not the telemarketers hahaha Sorry my bit of humor this morning

Ok now I know what an Onc is lol yesterday was a hazy day and I  had a migraine and had to take a happy pill so I was only working at 50 watts lol  but back to normal today. I will ask about an Oncologist when I go in and next visit to the emergency department I will ask them if there is one this far north Thank you for the extra info, I know I tried to ask to be referred to a specialist and was turned down by the general surgeon its like pulling teeth to get anywhere here. 

I know we have it pretty good where we don't have to pay anything plus I have my plans at work that pay for any prescriptions or extra costs if any but just sometimes I wish we could choose our own Doctor and if we didn't like them move on to the next one that would fight for you and dig deeper but instead I have doctors that greet you with stern looks and make you feel like "what are you doing here". When I went to make my Ultrasound appointment yesterday the women that made my appointment told me OMG you need a doctor and sent me to a place where my name can be put on a waiting list for a couple new ones coming here yippeee and that's if he accepts me I will cross my fingers. 

As for the Mammo maybe after the Ultrasound and the MRI they may recommend one although I am not sure what good the mammo would do since it cant see anything through the dense breast tissue. I started my own file and keep copies of the reports I receive the past few years this way I can read them and say I am not imagining it all and I always like to read it over before I go in this way I can ask some questions  and that's if they will answer them or talk with you during the tests. 

Marysden, being a single mom is hard enough and trying to do everything on your own specially if you are going through any type of scare is hard enough, Im not sure but sometimes being busy takes your mind of things. I know I am a thinker so give me some quiet time and my mind starts running all over the place. My teenage son keeps me on my toes adding a few grey hairs a day lol and my hubby has two young boys ages 4 and 6 soooooo all boys in the family and very busy but I try to keep it that way so i dont think so much. It took me months last time to try to push it to the back of my mind and not stress about it but it never really goes away, they are always hanging right in front of you day in and day out lol sooo you cant forget about them lol.  To keep my mind of things I try to go fishing or go to the cabin as often as possible but each person has there own way to de stress themselves and my is the outdoors lol. 

Barbe, I wish they had a magic pill for energy or I wish I could send you some of what I have even if its only a little. I am sort of stuck at the first one to two steps of this process and you are already going through all the right steps. You said you have a Onc ? do you have to travel far to go see them? and do they look after you much better than a normal doctor?  The appointments up here can take just as long to get in to see any type of specialist months and months, the MRI has taken two months to get in and that's fine with me I don't look forward to the IV for the dye lol needles aren't my strong point lol and I also have to have an MRI for the head lol that one sucks..... the cage they put around your head is a nightmare for me lol  but its got to be done lol.

If only we could pay the doctors to have a little more bed side manner that would be priceless   When I was younger I had lost a baby at 21 weeks my water broke and I had to go to the emergency department the doctor came in took one look at me and his words " your baby's going to die" turned around and left the room soooo believe me I know they don't care and they show no sympathy I should be use to it by now I guess lol.  But i did get a giggle out the Mcdonalds and french fries Barbe lol 

barbe1958

tamtam, you don't NEED a mammo. It won't do you any good with dense breasts. That's why I'm impressed that the docs up there are skipping it. Maybe they're a bit more advanced than you think!! Good luck getting a GP, I got one from a walk-in clinic that I just adore!!

Funny to think that someone that far north like you goes even further to go to a cabin!! hehehehhee

They only strapped my head in yesterday for the brain CT, not a hard cage, just leather strapping. The CT is so much faster than the MRI is was over in minutes, so no stress there. Now the wait until Aug 17th for all the results.

Keep us posted, sweetie!! 

MarysDen101

well just got off the phone with the dr's office and seem to get more information from the recptionist, So on the 13th they referred me to a BS, here in Brantford. Mammo is still not booked, but order is still there. Still back to the waiting game of when and where. 

tamtam

Hahaha I think the only reason they skipped it is because he couldn't care enough to offer it or be bothered, here you ask for a prescription you get no questions asked (most of the time) as long as your visit is under a minute and they can move on to the next one they don't really care.

As for living far north your right lol I guess I was sort of raised like a hermit lol so the farther in the bush i am the more at home I feel (strange I know) but our cabin is only about 15 minutes from town although two minutes out of town is pure wilderness anyways hahahaha there is no way into our cabin  unless you have a four wheeler and a boat so its very isolated but you can your weekend of piece and quiet and only the animals lol 

 They would have to give me something to calm me down even to strap me, I am very claustrophobic I have even tried closing my eyes and tapping my feet and I just barely got through the test so the last two times they have to give me a little pill first lol. How do you cope with such a long wait to find out your results?  Waiting last year for my results almost drove me bonkers.  I am already nervous just going for the Ultrasound, I know its not painful its what I see and what they see that makes me nervous. They measure oodles of cysts and to my untrained eye they all look bad lol its the multiple complex cysts that make me uneasy. 

I will keep in contact and I will probably have 20 questions once I get my results so you will hear me running to my keyboard before you know it lol

Thanks so much for listening and I will be around

tamtam

Ahhh thats great Mary, one step in the right direction   Do mammos take a while to get into down there?  hopefully it wont take you to long to get an appointment I will keep my fingers crossed

Wishing you luck 

barbe1958

Strangely, I am very calm once my tests are done. Someone knows. Not me yet, but I will. Perhaps I will look back on this waiting period and wish I was back here in my ignorance! It's waiting for the tests that make me anxious. I judge how bad the doc thinks it is by how fast I get the test! I got my brain CT in 5 days!!!

I saw my cancer on the screen. It is like a black hole from hell. VERY much in contrast from the other crap around it. Ultrashound pics normally look so grainy anyway, but this one was clear as a bell! 

MarysDen101

Barbe, I hear ya there, When I had my US done I seen 3 different things on it, There was a cyst I know of but didn't know what the other 2 might be.  Im hoping that up in eastern ontario doesn't get the Torandos they are forcasting for  They were calling for barry's bay as well

I had US in 4 days ( went in on the 6th and had it on the 10th)

Mammo is prolly going to take about a week to two weeks to get into since Im going to Hamilton and not brantford.

BS is in Brantford though.... Hopefully I get the answers from her , but if not second opinion works too 

barbe1958

I also had my biopsies right on the spot after the ultrasounds. No coming back as I was lucky enough to have the US done in a hospital. I'd have gone crazy if I'd gone to a clinic for the US and then had to wait for a biopsy!! Keep us posted Mary.

tamtam

Well I just had my ultrasound and it took over an hour, Usually when I go there they fight over me to see who gets to see me (double cervix and wall down my uterus) but this time they were drawing straws to see who DIDN'T have to do me there words not mine lol. Pretty sad that I take up to much of there time because of so many cysts lol ohhh well it sucks to be them because it has to be done, plus they had a trainee in there so two for the price of one(Im not sure if that's a good thing or not)

I don't have a trained eye or anything but i seen a few of them that didn't look normal and when i asked they of course said they cant say lol so the waiting game begins about a 1.5 weeks. I will keep in touch and ask some questions I am sure when I get the call, then after that I will go for the MRI in August. I will keep myself busy until then I guess lol

 

MarysDen101

Tamtam- message me if you need an ear , and i know everyone will concur with me that we are all here for you too . Chin Up.

barbe1958

tamtam, dense breasts are a bloody mess!! I'm sure the tech wasn't sure what she was looking at! I had an immediate biopsy, as I said, so if there was something fishy, the radiologist would have gone in with you even if just to get his own pics.

Yep, we all know the waiting is the hardest!!!! Hang in there sweetie... 

tamtam

Sorry everyone I was gone on holidays for over couple of weeks and it was a nice break from thinking about my lumps

But If you could please interpret something for me that would be great I received my results back today from the ultrasound and I would love if you could jump in and decipher this for me if you could  

Ok here it goes and this is whats written on my report from ULTRASOUND

* compared to to study of 2011 and correlated to MRI of breast of 8.17.2011 which showed no evidence of neoplasm-bilateral cysts were seen

 

FINDINGS:

Both breasts today contain numerous cysts. Also, in the left breast at the 3 and 6 o'oclock positions,there are nodular type structures. The 3 o'clock lesion measures 6mm . I truly do not appreciate this finding on the previous examination. This lady has numerous lesions in both breasts, making interpretation by ultrasound somewhat difficult.

Because of the interval of time since the previous examination of nearly one year, for reassurance I would recommend a repeat MRI of the breasts for surveillance and also to evaluate the apparent new Solid nodule in the left breast at the 3 o'clock position.

Ok so far I know the reports seem a little more complicated each year with they stupid breasts of mine and I am trying to hang on here without losing it but this report is worse than lasts years and solid nodule is a new one, I was dealing with the cysts fine and the trying to grasp the complex cysts I have but now solid nodules thrown into the mixture freaks me out just a bit. I have a MRI on Aug 19 but after last MRI report last year I don't have much faith in them either   as stated last year MRI cant see through everything and it cant detect DCIS . Any insight or imput would be great  

Thank you very much in advance.

 

tamtam

Thanks for any previous help given, I will check the net and find out some answers on my own.