Anyone have trouble believing they'll survive?

whaevah

Yes, I struggle with this. When I found the lump in Jan.2012 I read as much as I could. Everything went wrong from the start, my GP was sure it was nothing and she has known me for 25years. I , like many, was in great shape, no history etc.

I had LX , with recon at surgery. PS said 95% chance of clean margins but that didn't happen. Then the Triple Negative diagnosis.

My port installation took over 3 hours, 2 tries , I was awake. I left the OR with my surgeon saying "you have been open for too long, you may develope an infection. We may have to remove this and start again. Antibiotics will not help". It seems I have a rather unique anatomy as per my surgeons report. I did not develope an infection, yay!

So BS and Oncologist are leaving the margin issue to the RO. If that doesn't work, then I will be refered to a Thoracic surgeon.

Finishing DD AC next week then onto 12 W Taxol.  I have a hard time staying positive and this is not my normal. Lately I am wondering if I will make it.

Everyone tells me that I have a great attitude, look healthy and those closest comment that I haven't lost my sense of humor.  True, but the darkdays are pretty dark.

Hate this shit. Really.

whaevah

deleted my post as the thread ended on a positive note