Advice........should I take a vacation?

rn4babies

 I was diagnosed with BC for the second time in less than a year. My first DX was 7/11/11 which resulted in a lumpectomy and radiation. I completed radiation on 12/14/11 and worked the whole time except for 2 weeks off for surgery and 4 days from severe burns from the radiation. This February I was again diagnosed, this time with IDC. I missed 3 weeks for surgery and am currently getting T/C x4 then on to radiation again. My MO and my unit director felt that it would be best for me to just be off work during chemo because of the physical demands as well as exposure to bugs during tx. A reduced work schedule was not an option. My coworkers generously donated PTO time to me since I had exhausted mine for the 2 surgeries.  I am getting short term disability and the PTO supplements my paycheck.

Here's my dilemma.............I booked a beach vacation last September for this August. I've paid half already. In January, my vacation was approved by my employer and everything was fine until I got dx'd again. I will have my last T/C on July 16th. I'm anticipating that I could return a few weeks later (my STD is approved until 8/7) but then I'd work 1 1/2 weeks then be on vacation for 10 days. I'd then return and start radiation.  I'm worried that my co-workers will be upset if I still take my vacation since I've been off all summer and they've donated PTO time to me. If you were my coworker, would you be upset if I still took a vacation? I don't want anyone to think I'm taking advantage of their generous PTO donation.

Thanks

cmbear

I think your co-workers would understand that you had already planned this and paid for the trip. R &R  is just as important now, let yourself have some moments where BC isn't on the front burner. They gave you their time cause they care, I can't imagine they would hold you spending time to heal against you. go to the beach and let your mind go!!

hotandcold

Take the vacation ! ! !  if you can.  Make sure they know you prepaid, but be aware that there will be some jerk who has something cranky to say.  Just wanted to warn you.  Not everybody is undersanding, but most will be.

debbie6122

Since your co-workers know what is going on with you and have had a hard time, I think they believe a vacation is in order for you and much needed. You maybe could bring it up at a meeting of some sort and see how they feel letting them know that you prepayed already. If it were me that donated part of my pto to you I would be glad you are going on a vacation, Hope everyone else is too.!! I say go and have a great time!

Hugs,

Debbie

peggy_j

Sorry you are going through this. I hear what you're saying. When I saw your title my first reaction was "yes, take your vacation," but if I were in your boat, I'd have the same concerns. Do you know which co-workers donated their PTO to you? How much did each one donate? Was it a hardship to them? Maybe you could talk to them individually about your concerns.

Regardless of that, how do you feel about taking a vacation mid-Tx? Maybe good? Maybe you'd rather just stay at home, resting? (everyone is different) If you hadn't prepaid this trip, would you be booking one now for that same time period?

Even though the vacation is prepaid, sometimes companies are willing to bend the rules for unusual circumstances. (it's happened to me for much less serious issues). Or you may have to pay a small cancellation fee and then have a credit to use at a later time.  I didn't have chemo so I can't speak to that, but I after I finished radiation I was pretty fatigued. Ten days later we took a weekend away to celebrate. I thought it would be great but I was pretty tired, couldn't do much, felt frustrated and by Sunday I cried a lot. So, while some people are ready to celebrate mid-Tx, you may prefer to take your vacation a little bit later when you're done with Tx. (or not, everyone is different and gets to decide for themselves).

ETA: As an FYI, I recently had to reschedule a flight for my husband due to his back problems. Even though they normally charge a steep rebooking fee, they said if we supplied a note from his doctor saying he could not travel due to medical issues (they didn't need details), they would refund that fee. This is the airlines, not known (in my experience) for their generosity. So...you may choose to take the vacation but if the issue really hinges on the health issue and the pre-paid deposit, it's possible you have options. 

rn4babies

Thanks everyone for your helpful advice. I do not know who donated their PTO or how much. We have 50 employees. I confided in a few girls at work and they felt I deserved the vacation, however, I know not everyone will feel that way.  I can check into a refund but I know that normally you lose your deposit if you cancel this late. It is a family vacation with my brother flying in from Colorado and my sisters and parents. I will have my last T/C on Monday. I had rads last year and did pretty well with it. I thought it would be a nice break and give me a chance to reenergize before returning to work and starting rads this time. I plan on working during rads and will have no choice but to go back full-time with 12-14 hour days (I actually work 2 jobs).

I will let you know what I decide....

peggy_j

Hi rnbabies, reading your comment and thinking about this more, I wish I hadn't written my response. Since I can't undo that, I'd like to change my "vote" squarely to "take your vacation." (sorry for my comment. It was definitely centered on my own personal concerns and worries)  

Since you've talked to some of your co-workers, you know how they feel and they want you to take the vacation. (And, if someone else later questions your trip, these co-workers may be able to mention your concern and/or share their feelings of why the trip is a good idea.)  Now that I think of it, even if you're able to get a refund, chances are it would not be for everyone on the trip, just the person who was sick, so that's not great. Plus what a great opportunity to bond with your family. Seems like this would feed the soul.  Thinking back on my weekend away (right after I finished rads), it's true I was worn out the Sunday but the Fri and Sat were mostly good and there were happy moments. Realistically, we wouldn't have been able to reschedule the trip, so the question was either taking a trip when I was fatigued or not go at all. This BC journey is not perfect so we need to seize the moments we can. Again, I apologize for voicing my own worries and concerns. I hope you take your vacation and have a wonderful time with your family. You deserve it!

mags20487

I say go...you did not know when you booked what was going to transpire.  Most people will be understanding in that you already paid for this vacation.  The time they donated was a gift to you for recovery from treatment and was given without any conditions.  I had to postpone a vaca to begin tx last year and it cost us over $2400 more when we finally got to go in April this year.  Was an awesome vaca that the whole family needed after the stressful battle of fighting cancer. 

Maggie

chemoangel

Yes. You should definitely take this vacation. Don't worry about your coworkers and what they think of you. You deserve it. 

JustJude

I think you SHOULD take the vacation, you've been thru hell & you deserve to have some "feel good" and "fun" too!

In MY experience I found that the co-workers will not look at it as good as I have - but then again I can FEEL what you're going thru and what you've been thru! I set up a vacation to go away at Christmas for 2 weeks. Co-worker came out & told me that it was a "slap in her face". Yes, I was upset at first. I even cried when I got home.

YOU need to understand that if they "gave" something to you or covered for you while you were going thru this and they did it because they WANTED SOMETHING IN RETURN. Then it is THEM that have the problem - not you!

Go on your trip, have as good a time as possible, and DO NOT LOOK BACK at those co-workers! They are having trouble dealing with your diagnosis too. We all deal with the fear of our own mortality different.

Don't feel selfish - it REALLY is all about YOU right now, and it should be! Have an umbrella cocktail for me too!