The Hermit Club

bgirl

Christmas tree lights on.  Stockings stuffed and waiting to be hung.  Went to early church, as I didn't rest much today and don't know if I will make it until midnight.  DD1 missed the choir and music at the earlier service.  I think my DH has agreed to take her back for the late service (full choir & beautiful music), god bless him.

Wishing everyone, good food, good friends, good health & many blessings in the new year.

LizLemon

Hi all! First - I want to wish everyone wonderful holidays!



FLWarrior - SO HAPPY for you that you've had such a great start at your new job.



My MIL and one of my SIL's (schizophrenic, but does quite well on meds) have descended upon us for several days. All I've been doing is cooking full breakfasts, lunches and dinners then cleaning everything over and over since they've gotten here. It's really p*ssing me off. I'm so fatigued from chemo...At one point, when I finally got to sit down to eat what was left of the dinner I made, I think I swallowed two bites, when my dh goes, "Well, who wants PIE???!!!" I wanted to jump over the table at him. So I go, "Can we please just get through dinner first?" My normally doting dh turned into Cousin Eddy from Xmas vacation. (Not really - but you all know what I mean). I am so sorry I didn't get some beer on one of my man trips to the grocery store.



My MIL (almost 80) has offered to help me cook - but no thanks, she never washes her hands before/during food handling, and I seriously don't need the extra germs right now...not to mention that just grosses me out. Just stay out of the kitchen, and no one will get hurt!



Sign Me -

Elfy McCrankypants

camillegal

Well elfymccrankypants--I don't blame u.  On chemo and doin all this it's insaneCan't u just stay in bed tomorrow and hide from everyone and just get u'r own food. I could never do tat all those meals--then the cleanup--no no not right. Please take care of u'rself.

Teka

I couldn't swallow 1 bite let alone 2 bites when on chemo.   Try   *   takeout   *   takeout   *    takeout   *   or take them out. 

Teka

I met "take them out" to eat.

camillegal

Teka--u'r my tpe of woman,

LizLemon

Teka - I would, but I bought a TON of groceries - spent way too much already. Mercifully, my husband got them out of the house for a bit. He just texted to say they are making some sort of scene in Starbucks. So, I think he's 'getting it' now. They are the kind of people that scream over the TV (which also has to be blaring at all times), then ask "What just happened?" - like 100 times in a row. I'm about at my limit. I'm really not a mean person. I didn't realize how used to my own space I have become. 

bgirl

Sorry, sounds like someone needs to give them a slap up the side of the head.  Seriously need a wake up call ... you have been through so much in the last couple of months ... How do they not get it!!!!????  Sounds like you need to have your own temper tantrum.

Part of my DH's family can be this way ... thankfully they live close enough to go home!  My DH always said to ignore them and now he is the one who really can't stand it any more.  Maybe your DH is just used to the chaos.

camillegal

A scene at Starbucks--OM what a motley crew u'r living thru.--So sorry. Please just go to u'r room and say u'r having a bad day--I bet they'll find rheir food to eat.

Jane u feelin better,? I hope.

I've been in my nighty all day and in my room, rotten lousey cold that's going around and I'm already on an antibiotic so stupidly I thought I had a better chance of not catching it. Oh well, I' just glad I felt OK for the holiday.--I'm going back to bein a hermit again--it bodes me well.

Jazzygirl

Camillegal-hi there! The reason I am being sent out of state is that this type of internal radiation recommended for me (for bilateral) is called interstitial brachytherapy and not something that is here in the smaller city where I live. I did check with the local cancer center in my city and they are not doing this here yet, only the external beam radiation which most women have. External beam is not recommended for me due to too much rad hitting the chest wall and surrounding organs. This type of procedure is been in clinical trials and moving more mainstream. You may be hearing a lot more about it in the future, less side effects to women, faster treatment. So I am going to a city with more cancer treatment centers to get this done. Just one state away, but will have to go 2X for 10 days each. I have struggled through this decision but am now ready to go.

camillegal

Jazzy I'm glad it something new and better, then it worth it. I just don't keep up with all the new technology, hell I didn't keep up with my stuff. I'm glad u'r doing this and let us know exactly how t is for u too.

Is everone still recuping from Christmas, I am with a beautiful head cold that everyone seems to have around here. Wow it's spreading like wildfire in these parts. ick, but it gives me a super reason to stay bundled up and not do anything--which is my type of day. LOL

markat

I'm still feeling a little hungover from Christmas-not alcohol, just life. Sorry to those dealing with crappy people.



I don't have to go back to the oncologist for 3months!



Camille I hope you are feeling better soon!

camillegal

Markat isn't that great when u don't have to see u'r onc. for 3 months--it sounds like a vacation, auch a nice feeling--no test, or scan or any hospital things. ood thing u'r going to start working or u'd reall stay in more. LOL Like me.

Jazzygirl

Cami- feel better from that cold!

Markat- congrats on the break from the doctor world for three months!

Going back into my hermit world next week ladies, but will let you know how the internal rad goes! 

camillegal

Jazz u'd better let us know---sounds different to me and I want to know.

Skittle

markat--yay!  happy news not to have to visit drworld for a while.  Like a minivacation.

LL--you are far more patient than I.  It takes a lot to sit back and let the majority roar.  I hope some day they realize how hard you worked, even while you were feeling yucky.  As one of my little guys would say, "You is good peoples." 

cami--nasty cold better soon, I hope, at least so you feel well for welcoming 2013.  Hard to believe.  12 went by awfully quickly.  Did gs have a happy Christmas?

Jazzy--best of luck with rads.  Hope it goes quickly and well, so you can feel great again, and at peace that all c is zapped and gone.  Will someone be with you for support? 

Well, the forecasters were right.  We actually had a blizzard.  No electricity for days, and ten inches still on the ground.  DH and a friend are out now with chainsaws, clearing some of the more major mess so we can at least get down the driveway in an emergency.  Hundreds of limbs are down.  Huge magnolia right by the house took a major hit, and weeping willow may not make it...  Counted 32 cardinals at the bird feeder, and four enormous squirrels.  (For Canada girls and up-north neighbors, this may be the norm for winter, but for here, it's like an alien invasion!)    I love snow, but not the consequences.  "Wintery mix" is tonight's forecast...  The fun continues.  But really it has been fun... hermiting is expected when ice and snow keep everyone house-bound.  And, once the power came back on, cranking out quarts of hot chocolate and mounds of cinnamon rolls for ice crews has been fun.  I love a steamy, sweet-smelling kitchen. 

Happy relaxing, if you can.  I really should clean up the Christmas wrapping.  Hate to ruin the cat playground...

camillegal

Skittle my GS said this was the best Christmas ever??? So te's good enought for me.

Wow u really got hit hard wit snow and no doubt winds to--NO ELECTRICITY--that would make me the saddest. At least winter gives u a better reason to be a hermit and I enjoy that.

I caleed the Dr. again, I swear I never in my life called Drs. the way I have in the last 6 months--and they always find somethinf, but I feel like a hypochondriac, I think they're tired of me for sure. OH well

It's chilly out today and all i'veeaten are cookies the last coupe of days--I'm so sick of them hahaha.

Oh my Dr.just called amd I know se doesn't like to give any meds unless she sees me, but since I have diarrhea and I've had this before she'll cal in a med. for me--one I've never had tho?? Bit she's fas at gettim back to u. at leasr. So we'll get the meds ASAP==I'll be fine in a couple of days.

markat

Camille, hope you got your meds and are feeling better!



Skittle, we got hit by the snow too...and again tonight!



I'm feeling blue...just found out my husband's cousin and his wife are getting divorced. She has been like a sister to me It's messy and sad and dragging other people down. No one wanted to tell me to keep me from getting upset.



Can't sleep but hopefully today is better!

Jazzygirl

Skittle- yes, I have a friend flying in from another state who is coming to be there with me most of the time. Will be there the last few days on my own. When I go back the second time, most likely sometime in Feb, I will likely be doing that one on my own, but think after going through this with a friend the first time, I will know what to expect. I feel ready to get to this next step on the path to wellness. I don't have as long and detailed a treatment as some here, but mine is a just bit more complicated with stuff on both sides.

Will let you all know how it goes. Process begins next week with consults on wed, catheter insertion on thursday, some days off to do remote work and enjoy the location I will be in with my friend (we found a few things in the area we want to do on the weekend). Then treatment begins on Monday 1/7. My feeling is the time will go fast.

Teka

markat,

Thankfully, you were spared the sad news during X-mas, but will continue to be there for her in 2013.

camillegal

Jazzy I'm so glad u have someone to go with this time--u'r comfort level will be so much different havin someone with u. Do as much as u can do and enjoy as much as u can.

Markat I'm so sorry to hear that especially because u 2 were so close. That stinks. Things change then I know but u can still stay in touch, I've done that with members in my family cuz I truly felt like they were family and learned to love them. One of them said to me--OK he wants a divorce I can live with that--but he's taking away my family and that pisses me off. So u wonder how much she cares for u too.Divorce is hard on more han just rhe couple and especially their kds, but more too. Both of the men got married and I really don't feel anythin for their new wives---I miss the old ones.

Lauren15

Hi all - I just found this site, and it's so "me".  I was happy to come across it.  My husband calls me his little hermit crab.  He's a hairdresser (who I guess I won't have to go to for a while for color), and is sooo social. He loves going out all the time, and most of the time I stay home.  It got worse three years ago when my 20 year old son died of an accidential overdose.  I had good friends that dragged me out once a week, and I'm so thankful to them.  We still meet.  Just when I was getting my life together again, got another job, lost weight and reluctantly went out (although I do like certain people in small groups), this diagnosis happened.  I'm a positive person and swear by the book "A new earth" by Eckhart Tolle, I do like to stay home.  I've been on a cocktail of celexa and wellbutrin since Josh died, and I hope that will not hinder when I start treatment in January.  I may need to up the dose - LOL. . . I also have been declining calls and wrote a generic text and sent it to everyone.  I'm so tired of explaining.  I understand how they feel, because even when I was diagnosed I wasn't concerned, and thought, oh well.  I'll get treatment, reconstruction, etc., and I'll be fine.  Now I find I'm triple negative and need to get tested for BRCA and having a pet scan to see if it's metastasized (which my gut says it has).  My path showed lymphovascular invasion.  Oy . . . oh well, we all have to stay positive and stay good and true to ourselves.  Hope to hear from you . . . I'm going to make this group a favorite.  Lauren

Skittle

Lauren--welcome to the little nest of hermits!  Sorry you find yourself on this site at all, but this is the warmest group I've found... all of us in the same leaky boat.  You'll be loved and supported here, laughed with, cried with, consoled and held up.  I cannot imagine your grief, losing your son.  Your drs can certainly guide you on what cocktails for sanity/help you can best take with whatever your future holds, with new drugs and procedures in the mix.  I wish you well, hope for the best, and look forward to getting to know you as the days progress. 

Lauren15

Thanks Skittle - you can't imagine how much that means.  Actually, you probably can imagine.  Being that we are all hermits, I find it hard not to be lazy and just grab things from the fridge etc.  -- Are there any particular types of food that are recommended and what one should stay away from?

Jazzygirl

Hi Lauren15- welcome to this group. It is a very nice group of women in all stages of treatment, going through various things- the ups, the downs, the good news and the bad, the expectations of others in their lives, and all endless explaining. You have been through so much and now more with your diagnosis, and will say I am sorry to hear this. But we are a resource for you. This group is a place I can share when I feel I cannot or don't want to share things with family and friends who may not understand or are just tired of hearing about my process.

Getting dragged through all the tests is exhausting. And then waiting for all the results is very stressful too. But they tend to do this as you are getting started to be sure they understand your baseline condition. I had the BRACA test also, lots of other tests too and there always seem to be more with time. Information is power, and will help you know to know what the best thing is to do for your particular bc.

One of the things I decided early was to limit who I told within my family or friendship circles. I did this to keep my medical care out of my professional network and also so I did not have to keep a large group of folks in the know about how I am doing. Everyone is different about this though, some need to share it broadly, others just let a few key people know what is going on. I think limiting your communication to simple texts or e-mails to say you will let folks know how you are doing as you can is a way to save your energy and sanity. It will take your energy and focus to be sure you do all you need to do to get well.

Regarding food, the only thing I will share is that during two surgeries I had this fall (one related to the bc, the other around something else), my visiting nurse and doctors all said "high protein for healing." Especially after surgery. I have been doing a higher protein diet for awhile now (along with eating good fruits and veggies) and it has helped me to heal well from the two surgeries I had this fall. I am sure others will have things to share on this too.

Take care!

camillegal

Welcome Lauren--and I am so sorry for u'r loss and that u have to find u'r self here.

But as was said this is a great group, we all understand this feeling we have of just kinda let me alone unless I feel like doing something. Where so often people feel like the more we get out the better we feel. Well I don't feel that way. On my bad days I don't want to see people at all- I'd rather just be alone. I know there are a lot of tests to have and it's stressful, but they have to do them--and when it's done the real planning starts for u'r healing.

And Jazzy said about protein I think she's right--I don't know much of anything--I' a follower not a leader--just do what I'm told, but alot of these gals know alot and share anything u want to know and we all share our feelings. Those I understand LOL

Lauren15

Thanks for a warm welcome.  I think I need to go to sleep now and rest.  Although I'm cool, calm, and collected on the outside, my subconscious is getting the best of me.  Every ache, pain, etc. makes me think it has taken over my body.  Until I get the PET scans, I'm imagining the worst.  I need to put my brain to sleep.  Good night all, and I look forward to getting to know all of you.

Skittle

Lauren... Nutrition will be key and your onc will guide you on what you need to do, if anything at all.  Sometimes, keeping it all as "normal" as possible is best since your body and brain are having to cope with input overload already.  (I have to take 1800 calcium, 3000 D3, 250 magnesium, for example...)  I'm told to avoid all alcohol (not a problem since I've never liked it...) and am to keep my weight down.  I'm vegetarian so fruits/veggies are no problem.  I've been told to help with bone health to increase daily consumption of prunes, oatmeal, and 1-2 oz of dark chocolate.  Who knows if it'll help or not, but those are guidelines given to me.  Best of luck on your unfolding journey.

markat--how are you?  sorry for your sad situation.  Protect your heart. 

camillegal

Skittle u said it all, stop stealing my words. LOL

bgirl

Things have been crazy around my house and travelled to see DD#2.  Looking forward to some quiet in the new year.  Feeling post Christmas hermitude coming on.  Will catch up soon.  Wishing you all healtha and happiness in 2013.