The Hermit Club

camillegal

WRF is water ice---ice cubes???

dwill

camillegal, Okay it was not a pleasant experience talking to the agent at the State level, today.  Those state guys are vicious.  When I told them  I wasn't even aware that I owe them anything since I paid off $13,000 in Sallie Mae (school loans) with the Ch 13 which was in Aug 2012. When I got my discharge papers, I was told I had paid off everything.  He told me I should have known I needed to pay the interest and it wasn't their job to send me notices to remind me.He said when the payments stopped in August 2012--that's when the loan went into default.   He would not even listen to me when I told him they were being paid through my Ch 13 and it was they who told me that I was discharged and did not owe any one else.   I brought out that i had Cancer and the money they took was for disability--he told me that had nothing to do with it and it sounded like I needed to talk to a counselor.  I told him he was rude and inconsiderate--he said I could call this other person but he doubted very serious I would get the disability money back.  You are right--time to write letters with documentation and complain to whoever will listen.  I guess I may not get the money back--but I am going to become a pain in their butts--just because they were so inhuman about it.   Got to stand up for my rights and everyone else they are screwing out there.

blondiex46

next time ask for the supervisor and go up the chair of command...When you work in human services you need to have compassion, be kind and considerate.....sorry you had to deal with that Dwii

LaurieParr

bgirl...thank you for your words...Skittle, Blondie, Jazzy, Camille,,,,love you all. Thank you for the kind words about Nick.

Ok ladies...6 days post op and I still feel like crap. HAHA.  Just laying around and decided to check for my pathology reports online again. Guess what? One page was there. I don't remember my heart pounding so hard except when I was about the read my MRI reports.  So, it says that the margins are "clear, but close".  Give it to me straight girls.....what are my odds of a re-do?   It's okay to tell me the truth.  I looked it up and it says it depends on the doctor. I want YOUR advice. Everything was presest, Necrosis, grade 2-3, blah, blah.  No Oncotype score yet. I'm sure that will trickle in in the days to come.

Thank you for being here for me. Love you all.

XOXOXO

Laurie

P.S. My son got chosen for the summer travel team!! Hurray!!!!

Teka

What was said about "lymphvascular" or "lymphovascular"?

Margins are ok.

LaurieParr

Teka,

Not sure if the last question was to me or not, but I don't have any info on lymphvascular....

They upped my follow up visit to 6/5. That is good. I will be able to talk to the BS sooner.

blondiex46

Laurie, when they did my lumpectomy, he didn't think the margins were clear enough and when they went in to do the lymphnodes they took more of the margins, but remember that was 1996....

Teka

Would be on the surgical pathology report.

Excellent, if not mentioned on the surgical pathology report.

camillegal

:aurie, I'm sorry I can't help u-I really don't know anything--that's how I liked it so I don't even know what an oncotype is but people will know so don't worry. U sound good.

Blondie I'm sorry but Dwilli was talking to the government not a business but the GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES---this is not a sympathetic group and if u get another person they will tell u something different. It's the GOVERNMENT=remember I worked for them and it would amaze me how people thought they had the power they did, Ugh--Dwilli that's why I'm still fighting with them--they don't bend rules BUT the IRS bends for whom they want and the state of IL  has had more governors in jail than most states so what doees that tell u. So Blondie they really don't care unless u aggrevate the hell out of them--It's all right that I write this cuz I write them letters all the time Gov. Pres, and say the and I also tell them same thing. Oh and I also tell them I could help reduc all this debt and get out of the hole we're i. They don't believe me

Jinkala

I check several threads and I'm a couple of posts behind and then I come here and I'm a couple of pages behind!  LoL

I'm doing fine - just been really busy going through stuff in my Mom's garage.  Of course that means I also have been busy trying to make space in my own house for stuff I'm bringing home plus trying to make space for some furniture that my boyfriend is going to be bringing back from his Mom's house in Omaha.  Too much upheaval for me but it will settle back down eventually.

camillegal

Jinkala I'm glad u'r doing ok--but I hate uphevel too. Just like my cat I want no confusion around me or to do--I was always like tht tho, now I'm worse.

(((MARKAT)))

LaurieParr

Yay Teka! Thanks!

Jinkala---busy bee! Wonderful!

Thank you Blondie! Very helpful.

Just told my husband about the sketchy margins. He said, "I know I don't know a lot about this, but I don't think you should have more surgery. I think this is over and it isn't necessary."  He doesn't get it.  I know I will ultimately have to decide what is mentally and physically  right for me.  He will support whatever I decide, but I can't help feeling that he thinks that more surgery would be overkill.  That hurts.  Ugh.  I don't want to be perceived as a drama queen, but I KNOW the facts. He doesn't.  I think he is back in denial a little again. He wanted this surgery to be it.  So did I!  And maybe it will.  Maybe the margins will be enough for the BS and radiation will take care of the rest.

Happiness and light to all of you....

XOXOXOXO

Laurie

bgirl

Laurie, sorry about DH.  Sometimes I think they just want it to be over, but mostly because they don't want to see us go throught more stuff.  There is a difference between close and not clean, so don't jump too far ahead.  Wait to see what the dr. says.  Especially if you think they will be recommending radiation.

camillegal

Laurie I agree with Bgirl just take it slow and usually men just have a harder time for u'r sake cuz they just can't handle all of this.

LaurieParr

Thanks Bgirl and Camille. I believe you are right. 

Teka

LaurieParr,

Breath!

blondiex46

what Teka said!!

Jazzygirl

Blondie- sorry about the car. Sorry you have to deal with that on top of the rest. Ice creme recommendation- Ben and Jerry's Liz lemon with a swirl of lavender. It is delicious and will feel good on that sore tongue.

Working heavy hours this week but just popped in to say hi! Thinking of all of you tonight. Keeping Markat in my thoughts are prayers during this difficult time as I know we all are.

I have a really funny cat thing to post if I can get it figured out.

markat

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the kind words, hugs and prayers. I ended up taking the whole week off from work last week and planning mom's funeral. We had to wait until Saturday to have the visitation (viewing) and then had the Mass and burial right after. It was nice to have it all on one day instead of breaking it up. That week of waiting was a bit emotional however. Now I need to get all the business stuff together and get her apartment cleaned. 3 more days of work and I'm done!



Laurie I'm glad your surgery is done and you are recovering. Before becoming an internet doctor(I mean that in a sweet loving and empathetic way), just wait and see what your doctor thinks is the best course of action. I remember second guessing my decision to have the double mastectomy almost every day for about...6 months lol! Your DH is stressed, you are stressed, and he is probably just wanting life to return to normal- whatever that is!? I remember going to a concert with DH, and our best friends, about 6 weeks after my surgery. I was still bald, so hot, and my whole body hurt. I had to go to the food area and sit for almost the whole concert. DH realized at that point that things would probably be different for a long time. You guys will figure it out. Just give each other some time to let everything sink in. Prayers and huge gentle hugs to you!



Skittle I'm very jealous of your vacation, but you deserve it friend! Have fun!!!



Lori I hope things are going okay!



Blondie, I hope the car is fixed?



Wisteria is a pretty weed here. People either cut it down before they realize, or let it go and it looks beautiful. My mom has it along her fence at her apartment.



My kids at school made me a huge banner while I was gone. It was so sweet Hugs and love to all!

camillegal

Markat we're all so happy to hear from u and most of us know the painful time u are having, my dad was still living in their condo so it took 1 year to do my moms belongings it's very hard and my sister and I decided we would send them to distant family in Italy (her clothes) cuz we did not want to see nyone wearing them in our area--I guess that was silly cuz my brothers said u 2 are crazy but it's all hard to do and it was a year later. So this is another difficult time and my heart is with u and u'r family.

We're here

dwill

Hey,talk to another state employer-higher up in the chain. I think it was the big guy- his name was Barr. This one was nicer but to the point. Said that he will send me a form to give to the doctor and I should get 75% of my disability back. Remembering the awful guy the day before that told me it didn't matter who I talk to I wasn't getting anything back. Persistence pays! Would write more but its after midnight here and I have to get up in three hours to catch a flight to VA. Visiting my DS, wifey and grandkids 2&6. So excited! Will catch up with you ladies later!

markat

Camille, thank you! I'm nervous because I see the MO next week. I've seen her plenty over the last few months because she was Mom's also. Just makes me uncomfortable for some weird reason!



Dwill, I hope your situation gets straightened out! I had surprise issues from my first student loans after DH and I got married. They took about 4k out of our tax return. Ooops. He wasn't very happy about that but we had the income to make it ok.

Jinkala

Oddly enough, my cats seem to love the upheaval.  If I so much as move a box from one room to another, they act like the box is something totally new to investigate fully.

I've had to force myself to just stop worrying about the cancer stuff.  I just put my trust in my doctors to give me expert care and the best possible advice on what direction to go in when there are choices to be made.  They seem to respect me and my decisions so it's been a good experience overall (or at least as good as possible given the situation.)

Dealing with death is a terribly personal experience.  Every person experiences a death differently and every death is a unique situation.  It's hard to know what to say to someone who has experienced a recent loss.  I do feel sympathy and hope that the support of your friends here is helping you through this experience.

I've often wished I could grow wisteria here but it doesn't do well in the warm winter climates.  It needs the winter chill to do really well.

Teka

Teka appears the minute something is opened or moved in the house.

I also have a red japanese maple that continues to die back to the height of an old huge honeysuckle bush which gives the tree some shelter during the North Country winters.

camillegal

Jinkala I'm glad u'r furbabies are having a good tie.

Markat with all u've been going thru at this point seeing a Dr. is the last think u want to do---so it natural--so don't feel bad about how u feel--There are no rules about how u should feel, so do what u can. That's all. (((HUGS)))

curveball

I am going to un-hermit tomorrow with a vengeance. One of the local department stores is having a bra-fitting event so I am going to go see whether I can wear an ordinary bra even without reconstructive surgery. Had MX, but skin sparing so I'm not completely flat on that side. Maybe it won't slide up. Then on Friday going to see a plastic surgeon about possible one-step implant or minor fat-grafting just to put some padding over the former breast area, even though not an actual breast-shape. I decided to talk to Dr Y (the PS) right after being advised against my original plan of DIEP by the 2nd opinion doctor, but since I made that appointment I have been remembering all the reasons I didn't want an implant in the first place, so if the bra fitting works I may just pass on the whole business.

Jazzygirl

Hi ladies- just a couple things to share on the posts I scanned today:  

Markat- so glad to hear from you. There will be a lot to follow after your mothers passing. Even if you don't have to sell a house, etc., it is very hard to go through someone's belongings. My mom passed 3/12/12 and we had things coming up well into this year. So be patient, this is not a quick process (but after all you have been through, you know how to work through a lot of unknowns). My thoughts are with you. I hope the MO visit goes well.

Laurie- I hope your post op visit goes well and you get some more info from the pathology report discussion. They will advise you on next steps but don't afraid to get second opinions either if you are not sure. All the treatment is very customized and their are pros and cons to each treatment. I am sorry you are still not feeling well. You had a big surgery with that incision. It takes time to get better. 

Curve- bra fitting sounds great. I think it will help you to feel good to have something on top that makes you feel okay. I have found since my surgeries and radiation, only good sports bras (Moving Comfort) are the only thing that feel good.

Everyone else, hi for now and will check in again soon! Hugs to all!

I heard on the news today that cancer survivors have a lot more anxiety post recovery, even many years later. Why wouldn't we? They put the worry into you it can always come back. 

lizlori

Hi  Everyone,

Having been here for a while....haven't had the energy. Work is not good, and it has been physically and mentally terrible draining. I can't muster up the energy to do anything....I want out of that place, I just don't care anymore, just want to live my life and peacefully as possible. I am talking to the H.R person Friday....I think they are hoping I will quite, but I won't because the only way I can get on my husbands insurance is if I get fired...it all really sucks, and I feel this job is the reason I got cancer in the first place, I know sounds crazy, but it has been so stressful this past year...and I feel like it lowered my imune system and boom I get cancer....so here I am back at this crap ass job that is still making me miserable........on a good note, I have my kitten who thinks I am the cats meow...lol.....he is a bit naughty and seems to want to pester me when I am on the computer.....take care everyone...I am going to zone out and forget about my troubles......

LaurieParr

Hi friends,

Love to all of you posting recently. Hope and prayers to all of you going through your own battles. You are all in my heart every day.

My follow up was today. My "angel" doctor walked in, took a deep breath and said, "Well hon....we need to do surgery again."  So, my reexcision will be tomorrow morning.  I took a deep breath and said, "Thank you."  I felt comfortable with this decision and I'm so glad that he didn't even give me the option of not.  As I had said before, this first surgery kind of knocked me on my butt (I wasn't expecting that) and my scar is still fresh, but I am grateful that we are doing it right away.  He assured me that the weird ring affect under my armpit was just bruising.  Yay.  Also, NO invasive cancer was found.  Yay!  No Oncotype score yet. So, I will have a week setback, but I am still on track to be well enought to fly to Omaha in two weeks to watch my son pitch.  I wouldn't miss that for the world.

When the doctor left, my husband started to cry and said, "You knew it. I'm so sorry you have to do this again."  Love him.

Well, that is it for now girls.  See you on the other side (again). Lori---my heart breaks for you. I am praying for your peace.

Love and hugs,

XOXOXOXO

Laurie

Teka

LaurieParr, you'll be resting comfortably and on the mend tomorrow evening.