Sex after reconstruction

Tracy01

I am newly divorced and I am dating a great man.  He knows I am a survivor and that my breasts are implants and that the nipples are reconstructed.  I find that every time he starts touching my breasts, I tense up.  My ex-husband touched my new breasts three times in four years, so I know I have some confidence issues surrounding them.  I plan on talking to the new guy this weekend about my insecurities around them, but I am wondering if anyone has any advice.  I love sex, and I'm really excited (no pun intended) that I found someone where there's great chemistry, but this is causing me some anxiety which should not be in the bedroom. 

 Thanks!

Blessings2011

Tracy01 - these are words I wrote on another thread about being intimate with a new partner....

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Here's my two cents: sexual intimacy is MUCH more intimate when you have emotional intimacy first.

By that, I mean before you find yourself between the sheets, you've had some heartfelt conversations and communication with the person you are involved with.

You understand him, he understands you.

You might try asking if he has any questions about the things you've been through. You might share some of your insecurities about the changes in your appearance, and how the reconstruction process is a long one.

Our body images can change so much with BC. We deserve to be with partners who can appreciate those changes along with us.

You need to feel safe enough with the other person to be vulnerable.....emotionally vulnerable, and physically vulnerable.

You don't need to rush into anything....and feeling the way you do, it would be better if you didn't. You'll know when the time is right to steer the conversation in that direction...(WELL before things get hot and heavy, if you get my drift.)

He may turn out to be one of those wonderful guys who "get it" and will appreciate you even more.

Wishing you the best!