I'm on disability now

AnacortesGirl

OMG! I haven't logged on for a month and I can't believe the changes!  I hope they are for the better.

I just wanted to update everyone that I had filed for long term disability and it was finally approved.  So I am no longer working.  It was a real struggle to work the last two years.  My job for the last 26 years has been working as a system analyst in the oil industry.  The last 20 years has been at a refinery.  I loved it.  The challenges were fun and the people are amazing.  It really bothered me that I couldn't do it anymore.  Since last December I was trying to work for 3 days a week but between headaches and fatigue I got to the point where there was no way I could get to work on time (8 am).  My last three weeks it was just 3 afternoons per week.  Luckily for me, Aetna approved my long term disability so I am now "retired".  My manager even approved me for going 2 weeks negative on my vacation so I can get full benefits. That meant a lot to me.  Best manager I ever had!

So I finally made it a full 3 months between onc visit during the last 6 months.  I get my port out on June 22.  But I also have a lipoma on my abdomen that really bugs me -- I have been thin all my life so having this fatty tissue is really irritating.  But my onc isn't worried about it so I guess I just have to let it go.

I have to say that I'm very disappointed that I haven't been able to fully recover and feel like I did before cancer.  I really thought that I go through treatment and then get back to feeling the way I used to.  Even my left arm doesn't work the way I want it. I didn't use my sleeve today so it has some mild swelling after playing with my grandkids.

I'm not sure exactly what my point is for this post.  Frustration. Happiness. Gratitude.  I guess I just wanted to share in case there are other women out there where life just isn't going as planned after treatment.  For some of us, we try,but just can't get back to a normal life.  We don't feel like a person with disabilities yet we can't function they way most people can.  It's very humbling.

barsco1963

Christy - you're decision to go on disability sounds like it was a tough one for you.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am sure there are many out there that struggle with the same thing. I am sorry that your recovery isn't what you had hoped for. Enjoy your retirement, spend time with your family and those precious grandchildren - you deserve to be happy and live your life for you!