My older sister was just diagnosed and im pregnant

stacy333

I'm pregnant with my first child and the first of our family my sister all tho older has not had kids yet. I turn 13 weeks soon, everyone already knows. But yesterday my sister was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer. they are doing a couple more tests then she starts 4 months of chemo, a removal surgery, then radiation. I want to be strong for her but my emotions are all messed up from the baby i cry all the time. i don't want to cry in front of her but i don't know what to say. She just turned 30 about 2 weeks ago, she is so young that everyone thought the lump was going to be a cyst. i have no clue what to say or how to act around her, i want to appear strong and calm but I'm crying right now just thinking about it.

FilterLady

Hi Stacy:

Your sister is lucky to have such a caring sister.  Your sister will need you now and it's okay to cry.  She needs to know that you are there for her no matter what.

My sister and I are very close and even though we live 150 miles apart, she has been my cheerleader and I know that I can call her to just cry, if I want to do so.

You don't have to say anything, just let her know that she can come to you for support.  You don't have to act as if nothing is wrong, just ask her what she would like you to do to help her, ie research her options, help clean her home, run errands, etc.  I'm sure she'll appreciate it very much.

I am praying for you both,

LaDonna

mom2twins34

Hi Stacy,

I am so sorry about your sister's diagnosis.  LaDonna is right.  It's okay to cry.  With the pregnancy and with your sister's diagnosis, you are going through a host of emotions.  I can imagine she must be, too.  You can help each other by not hiding your feelings, but by being a support for each other.  

On the flipside, she may not feel like talking about it that much--it's hard to say--everyone is different.  Take your cues from her--the early days are generally the most difficult because your world feels like it is spinning out of control.

And congratulations on your pregnancy.  My younger sister was also pregnant when I was diagnosed.  I started chemo right away and was so sick that I often thought I wouldn't even survive the treatments.  Thinking about meeting the new baby gave me something to look forward to and gave me a sense of hope that I don't think I would have had otherwise.  My nephew was born exactly a month after my mastectomy.  I spent a week in the hospital and struggled with complications after the surgery.  Holding the new baby was the highlight of my recovery.  It was wonderful to have this new life around me when I was feeling so broken.  

Though I had mixed emotions because I was struggling with thoughts about never being able to have the little girl I had always hoped for because of cancer, I can honestly say that having a new baby in the family helped.  I was grateful that my sister allowed me to be a part of this.  I trust that your sister will also be grateful for you & for the new little life you will be sharing with her.

And remember that you can always come here for support.  There are plenty of wonderful women here who will do their best to help/listen.

Hugs to you and your sister...