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mom2my4babes

I'm SO happy I found this site! Here I am at 2:30AM looking for some sort of answers, help, ANYTHING to pull from & I stumbled across this site. EXACTLY what I needed.

A bit about me, my name is Angela & I'm a 38yr old stay at home mommy to 4 amazing little ones..well, not so "little", but they will always be to me! Anyhow, I, personally, am not the breast cancer patient..it's my mom. She's not only my mom, but my best friend & my rock! She is the one who taught me everything I know about not just being a mom, but how to be a MOMMY..BIG difference. I give her sole credit for the woman I have become today. Now, for the 1st time in my life..she's sick. Approx 3 weeks ago, on her 64th birthday, she was told she has Stage 2 invasive breast cancer. One week later, she went in for a lumpectomy & had 2 lymph nodes removed as well, but just for testing. On Monday we got the call that every woman doesn't want to hear. The cancer had spread. Instead of just radiation, she was going to need chemo as well. This afternoon she went in to have the port put in & there where a few complications. Apparently during the procedure, a small part of her upper lung was scraped/scratched. She woke in TERRIBLE pain throughout her upper back, her left arm & she couldn't take a breath in. They decided to admit her for overnight observation. On the 30th she will begin the chemo, they used the term TAC as the type of chemo she is getting, 6 treatments. Just based on what I've researched, this is a very aggressive type of chemo & can have some nasty side effects. By joining this community, I'm hoping to gain more knowledge of her condition, treatments & side effects. The things we can do to be as much help to her as possible. Also to prepare HER mentally for what she's about to go threw. She is & always has been an EXTREMELY independent person. Always the one who took care of others. A fairly healthy person...hasn't been in the hospital since my little brother was born..31yrs ago! To tell her slow down & LISTEN to her body is like telling a baby it can't have a bottle, LOL! So, anything, advice or even encouragement that anyone can pass along threw these boards or by message, please pass them along. It will truly be appreciated.

debbie6122

Angela- Im very sorry about your mom. I know you must be scared and worried for her, she is lucky to have you for a daughter so you can be of support to her. When you say spread, do you mean to her lymph nodes or to her organs? If it has spread beyond the nodes, like the lungs. liver. brain, bones etc she would be stage 4. With out knowing i dont want to give to much advice if its stage 4 although there are many ladies/men with stage 4 who are doing well and been around for years. TAC is Adriamycin, cytoxin and taxotere. I had the CT- Some women sail through there chemo treatments with no problems and even work. Some have bone pain and nausea everyone handles it differntly. I had bone pain but pain pills really helped some women say all they needed was claritan. Sounds like your mom is a strong person and she will get through this. It can be hard at times but doable. You came to a great place for support and advice and im sure many more will be by to offer there support as well. Please let us know how she is doing and we will be here to answer any questions you may have. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,

Debbie

chrissyb

Hi Angela and welcome to BCO. You will find some really good information here and a lot of women and men who will help you support your mom.

You said your mom is stage 2 and then you said that the cancer has spread.  Is that spread just to the lymph nodes that were removed or further?  The reason I ask is if it's just the lymph nodes then she is still stage 2 but if it's further, her stage will change.

It sounds like she will be getting the standard chemo for lymph involvement.  The oncs like to be very agressive if the nodes are involved.

There will be a whole lot more about her diagnosis that will help us to help you such as ER/PR+ or - Her2 + or - and her grade which will tell you how agressive the cancer is.

With her chemo, we all react to the drugs differently, some seem to breeze through with just a little nausea and fatigue and others seem to get all the SE's (side effects) imaginable.  We never know how we are going to react until we are into the treatment.

Please feel free to ask as many questions as you need and I do hope your mom handles her treatment well.

Love n hugs.  Chrissy 

mom2my4babes

Thank you Debbie! To answer, it's spread to her lymph nodes. They removed 2 of them, apparently the 1st one they removed, it was pretty bad, but the 2nd one, it was microscopic. She's one heck of a fighter so I'm confident she will "power threw", but she can also be a TERRIBLE patient, LOL!I'm just hoping she has learned to LISTEN to a doctor for once. Two yrs ago I took her to see her PCP for her yrly check up, he gave her a script for a mammogram. I fought with her for WEEKS to go have the test done, but she simply would not budge. On Thursday, the 1st time she meet her Oncologist, the one that handles the chemo, told her if she had gone for that test two yrs ago..she most likely wouldn't be sitting in his office that day. It was at that point I found out that she hadn't had a mammogram in 12yrs!!! Needless to say, I was SOOO mad! Of course there was no way I was gona give her a hard time about it..she just doesn't need that. What's done is done. Yet today, my dad & her Oncologist surgeon had to be pretty forceful in telling her she had NO choice, she HAD to be admitted for overnight observation.CRAZY!! One good thing about the timing on this is 2yrs ago, I lived across town from her, since then ( about 1yr ago) my husband & I bought the house right next door to them, so now I'm right here to care for her anytime she needs me. A LOT of people thought I was nuts for moving in next to my parents, but we are an extremely close knit family & we all ( including my 4 kids) LOVE our set up,between the two of us, we have over 5 acres for the kids to run & play on. Having my kids right here has kept my parents so young at heart, but when I decided to move next door to them, for some reason, my gut was telling me to do it simply because one of my parents might need me & if they do..I'm 10 stepping stones away from them. As kids, my brother & I always thought it would be our dad who go sick or needed taken care of. He had a massive heart attack when he was only 40yrs old & we nearly lost him. So naturally, we always kept an eye on him. My mom just never got sick. I can say without a doubt, this knocked the wind right out of me, completely blindsided all of us. So I guess in a way, I should be thankful that I'm as close to her as I am. Dad can't do it all by himself. Now I'm rattling on, LOL! So, Thank you again for the words of encouragement! God Bless

debbie6122

Angela- It is not always a bad thing to have cancer in the lymph nodes the way my dr explained it is the nodes caught it and kept it from entering in the organs, of course this isn't always the case. Being stage 2 means she has early breast cancer and she should do well on her treatment plan. Once your mom starts her treatments things will go a little more smoothly and she will be ready to fight this ugly disease. Do you know her grade and weather she is ER/pr - or + these are here estrogen receipters and tells the dr weather she will be on hormonal treatments or not. Ask about the gene her1and 2  Has there been any breast cancers in your family before? Also as she goes along we can help her with things to eat and drink while on chemo that will help with the SE (side effects)  If you have an american cancer society near you. you should check that out, they offer free wigs, hats, scarfs and masectomy bras with prothsetis. They also do a Look good feel good class that gives free makeup and shows you how to wear it. I will tell you more if you are interrested in them.

Its great you live so close to your mom, she is going to need you, just doing things like, cleaning, cooking, taking her to her appt or just let her know how much you love it and being there for you when she needs you. Chrissy who posted above always has great advice too, she can be of great help. 

Hugs

joanneasiata

Mom2 my 4 babies

Wow your mum and dad r very lucky to have you and that you are right next door

I was the type of person to be doing all for everyone I've got 4 kids and 2 grand kids and pretty much don't work but I was extremely busy running around for the family UNTIL Bc then that was it for me ,I think your mum might try and do the same things that she use to do but the chemo / surgery / treatment will slow her down ,I just couldn't do as much and believe me I did try ,so hopefully and I'm pretty sure your mum will realize this and and take a big piece of humble pie and sit back and let you and your family take care of her for once you sound like an extremely supportive daughter she is lucky please keep us informer on the pathology report and feel free to come and chat / vent / and even cry on here the ladies on theses boards are full of knowledge all the best to you mum and your family

Jojo

Moderators

Hi Mom2my4babes and Welcome to BCO,

What a wonderful and caring daughter you are for your mom! As you can already see, these boards are an amazing resource for support and knowledge!

For some really good practical and medical information, you may want to also check out the main Breastcancer.org site, to help your mom prepare for What to Expect with Chemotherapy, manage Treatment Side Effects, and deal with everyday Day-to-Day Matters.

You may also be interested in researching what your mom's breast cancer means for your risk in the Lower Your Risk section.

We hope this helps! Keep checking back and let us know how your mom is doing!

--The Mods