Back to Work with a Brush-Cut, & Curious Coworkers.

Janet_M

Good morning - 

I'm heading back to work next week, and I'm as nervous as I was on my first day of high-school. My business, which is contractual,  is very social, yet nobody knows why I've been off work for six months. I've talked to people over the phone and lied. 

My excuse for not working was that I was taking a break to help a friend who was opening a shop. This was only partially true. I do have a friend who opened a store, and I did help her out - for one day. 

Now I'm heading back to work- and instead of my swinging brown bob - I have a short gray brush-cut. I ditched the wig a few weeks ago, and I ran into some of my colleagues while I was wearing a hat. All they wanted to talk about was my hair, or lack of it. I told them I had lice, and tried to change the subject. Of course they didn't believe me (who would?), so I made up some bulls*it about growing out my roots and cutting off anything that was dyed with chemical based products. They thought that was 'very brave'. Ha! The reality is that I'm a big fat chicken, and a liar.

What happens when I go back into the office? Is it easier to lie or to tell the truth. I'm so sick of talking about cancer, and I don't want anyone saying 'good luck with your journey' or calling me a 'survivor' or giving me anything with a  pink ribbon. I just wanted to be treated the same, even thought I'm not the same anymore at all.

I'd love to hear other girls' strategies. I've lost my inner warrior and I need advise. Thanks-you,

Janet 

Blessings2011

Janet - I haven't been in your shoes, but I will tell you that two of my friends (in two different towns) - who have NOT had cancer - decided to ditch the chemical dyes and expensive salon cuts and let their gray grow out.

They both have extremely short, spiky cuts that look great on them, and they both get compliments wherever they go. I'm almost ready to join them.

As far as who you tell in your office, I just remember one friend saying to me "Be careful who you tell" when a personal situation came up. In other words, she was telling me that I couldn't control other peoples' reactions, nor could I control how many people they would tell.

It's your life. Do what feels right in your gut.

Janet_M

Blessings2011 - 

Thank you. I'm a strong believe in listening to your gut - though with everything going on - it's sometimes hard to hear. And I appreciate your point about not being able to control people's reacitons. I needed to be reminded of that.

As far as explaining my absence to people, I've yet to figure it out. It takes a lot of energy to keep covering up. I remember the first time I went into the dog park with my wig on for the first time. I'd just had my hair cut, and everyone had seen it short. The next day it was down to my shoulders. I asked my sister how to handle it, and she said, 'Don't worry - they're all too self absorbed to care."

My doctor said it would be easiest just to tell the truth, and if people got all dewey eyed and morose to say 'Thanks for your concern - everything is good now.

I love that your friends went gray and spikey. I'm almost ready to join them too - but not quite!  I finally found  a place  (I'm in Toronto) that is a 'green' salon and doesn't use chemicals - so I'm going back to work with brown hair! Once I made that phone call, I was pretty excited. My appointment is on Tuesday - then back to work the week after that.

Let the games begin! 

Janet