Anyone want to chat? My mum has TN that has mets...

Velociraptor

Mum had a lumptectomy, chemo and rads in 2008 for TN lump. in Jan 2012 had a recurrence, tiny tumour in the same spot, all lymph nodes were positive for mets. Today we found out that there is a spot on her lung, lesions on her liver, and something on her knee. Onc is ordering bloodwork and an MRI.

My mum is a lot to me. She's only 60 (I'm 33) and without her help during my pregnancy and birth of my child a year ago life would have been more difficult. My plan had been to try for another baby next month, and I still want to, as even if my mum can't help, I want her to have something happy to think about. She just adores kids and babies so much. 

Anyhoo, misery loves company, so if there's anyone out there in a similar situation who wants to talk, let's talk. 

LovinMyMom

I do hear you Velociraptor.  My mom is 62 and very active in my life and my 3 little ones lives.  They LOVE grandma.  She was stage 1 just 2 years ago, stage 3 last year, and after a clean PET scan this January, she now has mets in her lungs, clavicle, and possible liver.  If you'll excuse my language, breast cancer is a big fucking bitch.  It doesn't seem to matter how wonderful the woman is, or how much we need them around in our lives, it just curls up inside them and screws up all of our lives. 

 I have a highschool friend who's mom was stage 4 with mets for 8 years.  I'm just living every day with my mom in this world as if it's precious...and hoping for 8 more years!  The uncertainty of it all is terrible, isn't it?  I hope your mom responds well to the first line of treatment.  Any idea what they're going to start her on?  My mom will be starting Xeloda in 2 weeks, when we return from our "celebratory trip to Paris".  Yeah, we were celebrating her kicking cancer's ass...then we got the new diagnoses.   

Velociraptor

I'm sorry we're in a similar boat. Cancer is so sneaky isn't it?  

The uncertainty of it is what sucks the most. I keep reading/having people tell me that breast cancer is considered a chronic illness now that needs to just be managed, but things like quality of life, number of years and of course the fact that we pretty much know that this is what is going to kill her, sucks the big one.

She is seeing her primary onc on Weds and this other BC specialist onc i got her in with on Tuesday, so by mid-week we should know what her treatments will be. She had so many plans for the summer... I'm glad you guys get to go on your trip, my mum had planned on partying with her family in the UK in May for her sis's daughter's wedding but all that went down the pipes when this came along. We still want to take some small trips here and there but bc of recovering from the mastectomy and the need to start chemo right away an overseas trip is probs out of the cards for at least 6 mos. My mum is in good spirits tho (or at least to me she is), talking about trying to stay vibrant and healthy during chemo. I worry about my dad too.

What do you say to your mum? Do you just try and stay positive? My family isn't very affectionate but sometimes I just want to hug her. But then Im afraid Ill cry, and that will worry her (ie im crying bc its serious kind of thing). Mostly I just try and bring my 14 month old with me all the time bc he just lights up everything for her and my pops. My bro and sis also have 2 kids each who do the same.

Have fun in Paris!