My Introduction

LotusFlower

im a 23 year old african american who has dealt with cancer my whole life. My mother died when i was 18 months from breast cancer that later spreaded throughout her body, she was only 28. I had a sister who had a tumor in her adrenal gland at the age of 3 but it was removed, at the age of 14 they found out she had ovarian cancer then again at 24 they found a tumor growing in her upper arms but it was benign, at the tender age of 29 she had tumors back on her adrenal gland which later spreaded through her body and she passed July 2011...At the age of 14 i was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in my right leg on my fibula did treatment and i was fine until october 2011 when i was diagnosed with breast cancer they only gave me one dose of chemo due to my kidneys going bad. I just had my reconstruction surgery yesterdday. Oh and by the way my mother passed a gene on to me and my sister named li-fraumeni syndrome. Being african american its really hard to deal with this especially being young. I have a boyfriend who has become more distant and my self - esteem has gotten really low. I dont really know how to deal with this due to the changes on my body. I know my relationship is coming to an end due to this.

voraciousreader

Lotus-Flower... I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. You have found your way to a place where there is support and comfort. I promise. We are here for you.

LotusFlower

ThanQ i didnt know where else to turn to..

voraciousreader

You can also call your local American Cancer Society chapter. They can set you up with all the emotional help that you might need. They can also help in other ways as well.

voraciousreader

Lotus... Please also keep in mind that since your mother's diagnosis we know sooo much more about breast cancer and there have been magnificent breakthroughs in treating breast cancer today that weren't available when your mother as diagnosed. Please also keep in mind that from the time of diagnosis until active treatment begins is the most stressful time.

Poppalicious

I'm so sorry that you have to join us.  It sounds like you've already been through so much already at your young age, I just wish I could give you a hug! 

I was SO angry at life following my second diagnosis (I was initially diagnosed at 32 and live away from my immediate family) BUT things do get easier emotionally after treatment starts and with time...for now your key focus for now should be on YOU.   

Try to take things one step at a time.  Forget about your BF for now if he is not helping the situation and make yourself the priority.  Do you have anyone else close that you could lean on like an aunt, cousin, close friend etc?   

You are not alone and will have the support of many via this board.  This website is a GREAT place of support and information.  Additionally you could try reaching out to your local support groups too (they kept me sane when I felt isolated and even offered to come to appointments)!  Where do you live?  Perhaps some ladies here can advise of possible local groups you could join. 

Regarding the changes to your body, it's hard when people have no idea what you are going through (even though they mean well).  I remember seeing girls my age getting ready for a night out, at the beach or going shopping crazy at a sale - thinking "that will never be me again"... but you know what, I managed to find a "new me". 

Something that helped immensely was the SCAR Project by David Jay (photo project involving those 35 years & under who face BC)...it showed me I had nothing to be ashamed of and there were others out there with a body like mine.  I now don't mind wearing low back tops that show my back scar, it kind of makes me feel a bit bad-arsed!

I hope things get easy for you ASAP - please let us know how you are getting on.  How has your reconstruction recovery been going?  And what are the doctors recommending for treatment?

JadeGirl

I'm so sorry that you have to join us. It sounds like you've already been through so much already at your young age, I just wish I could give you a hug!

I was SO angry at life following my second diagnosis (I was initially diagnosed at 32 and live away from my immediate family) BUT things do get easier emotionally after treatment starts and with time...for now your key focus for now should be on YOU.

Try to take things one step at a time. Forget about your BF for now if he is not helping the situation and make yourself the priority. Do you have anyone else close that you could lean on like an aunt, cousin, close friend etc?

You are not alone and will have the support of many via this board. This website is a GREAT place of support and information. Additionally you could try reaching out to your local support groups too (they kept me sane when I felt isolated and even offered to come to appointments)! Where do you live? Perhaps some ladies here can advise of possible local groups you could join.

Regarding the changes to your body, it's hard when people have no idea what you are going through (even though they mean well). I remember seeing girls my age getting ready for a night out, at the beach or going shopping crazy at a sale - thinking "that will never be me again"... but you know what, I managed to find a "new me".

Something that helped immensely was the SCAR Project by David Jay (photo project involving those 35 years & under who face BC)...it showed me I had nothing to be ashamed of and there were others out there with a body like mine. I now don't mind wearing low back tops that show my back scar, it kind of makes me feel a bit bad-arsed!

I hope things get easy for you ASAP - please let us know how you are getting on. How has your reconstruction recovery been going? And what are the doctors recommending for treatment?

AnewBeginning

Lotus, I am so sorry you are going through this yet again.  It has been a tough road for you and your family.  As for your boyfriend, well this sometimes happens for different reasons which sometimes go unanswered.  You need to concentrate on yourself now and fight with all you have.  Do you have family around you or good friends?  If not try to join  a support group but keep comng here because you will get so much love and support.  I wish you the best!

 hugs

LotusFlower

Thank You JadeGirl and AnewBeginning, I don't really have anyone to talk to about they way i feel, however i do have a supportive family but with all thats happen they are all trying to heal and the scariest thing that they think is that ill be next, which goes through my mind constantly. 

As far as my reconstruction i will need another surgery for fat grafting this healing process is harder than the tissue expanders, and i absolutely hate the drains. The doctors really haven't said anything about continuing treatment because of my kidneys. So i know the chemo is a no go and i don't need radiation. My dad has been looking into other alternatives such as colloidal silver and a machine made by a guy name Bob Beck, also the oil from the marijuana plant has helped cure cases of cancer so we're looking into traveling for that.

I just feel that its so much to go through. You women on here are so strong. Im not like that it seems like  i get ahead 5 steps to be pushed back 7 more. MY friends don't really understand the seriousness of the situation which makes it hard to talk to them, i lost some friends along the way. I do Thank you for taking the time out to respond back to me. Finally people i can relate to! 

Anonymous

LotusFlower, I was just going to lurk tonight because I'm tired after a long day.  I actually met with 18 other ladies that are all here in NJ - the first time we ever met although we have all talked on different threads for years. 

Saw your post and had to sign in to encourage you.  I'm going to send you a PM (private message) next which I hope will help as you go through this extremely stressful time.  Sorry I didn't see this earlier.

HUGS.

JadeGirl

LotusFlower - just checking in to see how you are going. 

It's great you have the support of your dad and your family to a large extent.  I love mine to bits but have moments with them where I know they are very well-meaning and dealing with this the best they know how, however they really don't know what it's like for us. I hope you have been able to see from the other threads here that you really are not alone! 

Are your drains out yet and how are you healing?  Have you made progress with the alternatives that your dad was looking into?