June 2012 Mastectomy

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 rhymeblue  

I understand what you are saying.  Right now, I will probably have the mastectomy.  I have already cancelled rads.  My only other option is do nothing more but Tomoxifen and active watching.  Bear in my mind my age 76, and low rating cancer.  

I look at my poor little breast and I don't think there is anything wrong with it.  I feel that I am killing it for no reason.  I had a reexcission and it was all clear.  So why am I doing this.  I am crying as I write this.

rosetx

Had what was supposed to be a PBMX with TE June 5 due to years of fibroadenomas, calcifications, cysts, one episode of ADH--all of which led to surgical, needle and stereotactic biopsies.  Also strong family history.  Mammo and MRI said current calcifications probably benign.  However, patho came back ADH both sides and DCIS one side.  Glad I made the decision when I did.  Packed WAY too much stuff for hospital, but bag to hook onto bed rails was helpful, as was extra long cell phone charger cord.  To someone who asked, am definitely using camisole with pockets for drains.  Mine was made by BC volunteers.  Best of luck to everyone as they transition to the recovery side.

loriio

Hi Rosetx. Sounds like you're doing well. Where did you get the bag or the hospital bed? I am meeting with the nurse navigator on Wednesday and she is giving me a "goodie bag" which includes a cami for drains. What would you recommend packing?

Lynn27

Of course everything is between you and your doc.  You haven't heard of any positive nodes with DCIS because - by definition - there can't be.  DCIS is non-invasive.  With grade 1 DCIS, your cancer has the lowest likelihood of spreading.  Therefore, the likelihood that you have some invasive cancer (like IDC) mixed in there with your DCIS is low.  I had the SNB because my grade was 3, high likelihood of spreading.  If I hadn't done the SNB and found a clean node, I would have been freaking right now because I did end up with an IDC diagnosis after the mastectomy.  Now I know that I have to have additional treatment because of the ** IDC but I know it can be moderated because it hasn't hit the nodes.  Good luck with your decision making and finding a surgeon you are comfortable with.

rosetx

Loriio, I got the fabric bag in the makeup department of Walmart.  It worked well because it had an open top and pockets all the way around the outside that also opened at the top.  I hooked the 2 strap handles to the rails with large spring clips from the hardward department at Walmart.  Because all pockets were open, I could just separate items in different pockets and reach over to grab chap stick, Iphone, lotion, etc.  I didn't use any of my monogrammed pjs (ha!)--just the pj pants under hospital gown, a short robe, and slippers.  I also used my own pillow and pillow case.  I was supposed to stay 2 nights, but stayed awaked all the first night and decided I'd rather be at home.  Yes, I'm doing well and hope to get last 2 drains out tomorrow.  I've just been taking it slow and easy and trying not to get too impatient and set expectations too high for myself.  I hope all goes well for you!

rosetx

Loriio, just noticed you are from TX.  I am in Central TX, north of Austin.  What area are you in?

loriio

Rosetx-I'm from Fort Worth.

taismommy

Hey fellow JuneBugs!!!!

Just wanted to give some extra love and support to all the ladies going in tomorrow Lisa143, 25weeks, JenH13, NanG....Good luck and happy healing!

Tamika

NanG

k...its like, almost fasting time. this is surreal.

on a funny note. i tried epilating "down there".  OH MY LORD WHAT WAS I THINKING?! sorry. tmi...but its funny tmi at least.  i will never, EVER do that again! 

will do the underarms and legs again though, that wasn't so bad...and the no-shaving thing i think is so u don't get nicked before ure surgery isn't it?  i hope so.  sheesh.

tonight i feel a little angry. also, kind of broke down packing my hospital bag and realizing that i didn't need to put bras in there. that was weird.  then i looked at all my bras and felt sad.  what do i do with them?  frame em i guess...lol.

loriio

NanG-I was cleaning out my closet and was wondering the same thing about my bras. Maybe I'll have a good old fashioned bra burning. I'll do it on July 4th.



Good luck to you and all the others going in tomorrow!

JenH13

NanG I also got angry tonight. First time in all this I was really pissed off. I hate this disease . First it took my hair, then my energy, now my breasts and at least one night away from my kids. As I told my other group, I'm so mad that I hope I can wake up and say HA! Be gone with all of you! Good riddance and never. Come back!

I'm already ready to be home in my house with my kids and my pillows and I haven't even stepped foot in the hospital yet..

Deeeeeeep breaths..this too shall pass and I will be a better person after.

Thank you all for your stories,so many did help calm me knowing that it usually isn't as bad as we think.

Good luck to all! See you on the flip side!

/hug Jen

25weeks

Tomorrow's the big day. I hear ya on the bras. I'm not even going to wear one to the hospital. /:



I spent the day cleaning & taking the kids to grandma & grandpas, and on the way home it all just hit me like a ton of bricks. Tonight was the first time I needed the Valium. It helped. . Ate a steak for dinner, shaved & took my hibiclens shower. Almost fasting time is right. Better down that 3 musketeers bar! 5:30 wake up will come very early indeed.



Much love to my fellow June 18thers. Thanks for all the support from all the wonderful ladies here. We are all strong & we will be even stronger tomorrow.



Hugs!

Tricia

annievan

Have been away for a few days with no internet access and am just catching up on my "June bug" buds - Am catching up on all the posts now, but wanted to say. . .

sending prayers, healthy vibes and love to the ladies going in tomorrow. . .NanG, 25weeks, Jen H13 and Lisa 143 . . (hope I didn't miss anyone!)

My surgery has definitely been rescheduled and is set for July 10th now - -- Please don't kick me out of the June club!  I'm learning so much and gaining courage from hearing each of you girls get prepared and from the very generous and brave comments to us after surgery from those of you who'd already made the leap.

sandpiper1

 I am July 11th annie. Still hanging here too.

Had my SNB last Tues. So technically I qualify for both the June bugs and the July firecrackers!?!

Positive thoughts and best wishes to the ladies going for surgery tomorrow.

If any of you haven't read it yet, Nan wrote a beautiful and witty "ode to her breasts"

Seriously made me smile and cry......simultaneously

LAstar

Thinking of lisa143, nang, jenh13, & 25weeks tomorrow! Smooth surgeries & great outcomes, inside & out!

Lisa143

Less than 8 hours to go... The whole bra thing is a difficult one especially right now when they are only doing the left side till reconstruction in March. 😢



Annie we would never kick you off 💗 Once a June bug always a June bug!



Had a nice weekend with the family kept myself busy and now all I can think about is tomorrow. Only an 1 1/2 hours to eat and drink I think I hear some 🍦calling my name. Then off to shower ( thank goodness I don't have to worry about shaving only positive SE of chemo) then off to bed.



NanG, 25weeks, Jenn wishing you the best tomorrow see you on the other side

NanG

Just woke up its like 3-ish....can't sleep. Yesterday I slept for about 11 hrs till 1pm. Bedtime came too soon I guess. I realized the thing that is stressing me so bad is that this Is the first step to my treatment! A dang DMx! I think if it was like, something I've been being treated for and this was like the last part or something? Maybe I'd be less stressed but it's like, diagnosis..waiting...tests...waiting....waiting, consulting, waiting....cut off your boobs, waiting for pathology....etc.... I at least feel s bit better having pinpointed the source of anxiety. I posted on my Facebook that I'm "walking it out like Walenda" I don't know if u all watched the tight rope walker go across Niagara Falls last weekend? He was awesome. Best part? He prayed the whole way. Every step He was praising Jesus! I'm a believer in Christ, and even though i still feel sooooo nervous, I feel safer knowing the Lord is with me. The cool part was that at a certain point in his walk across the falls, the mist was so thick, he couldn't see the cable! It was dripping wet and he didn't know what the next step would be like but he just kept praying and walking it out. He said something along the lines of how he's doing this for everyone out there who is getting ready to walk into some challenge or battle....to walk it out, keep going and keep your eyes on that end vision! And so....it was powerful. Reminded me two things.......look toward the end of this as a good thing....and praise God! I was forgetting that bc I was getting scared. Now I feel less scared. In fact, it's not fear just nerves. Have ativan but don't one those at all. Might end up taking one tho. My stomach is cramping up pretty bad tonight too. Nerves.

rosetx

25weeks, Thinking of you and your surgery today.  Praying for good outcome and quick recovery.  I am just north of Austin as well.

annievan

Great story, great analogy, NanG - - I'm going to be thinking about that now - looking forward with eyes on the end point.  I'm really feeling overwhelmed about a lot right now. 

Hope you were able to get a few hours of sleep before heading to the hospital.  Think happy, positive, beautiful thoughts.  Many will be thinking and praying for you and all the other ladies who are healing and having surgery this week.

curveball

Prayers for today

Lisa143, for smooth surgery and that everything will be OK with the new location and new boss at your job;

25weeks, for successful surgery and placement of TEs;

NanG, for peace, and grace to keep your eyes on Christ as you "walk the wire";

JenH13, for freedom from fear and a pain-free SNB injection;

for sparkysbrat, that your surgery date will be set today;

and clean margins & clear nodes to all!

laurab69

Hi My Name is Laura 

I finished my chemo may 30th. I am shceduled for surgery on wed the 20th. I am reading through all your posts and realizing I am not alone. Only doing the left breast now then the right one at reconsruction.  I have to have rads so no reconstuct for six months. I feel so angry and scared about all of this. i am so tired of everyone saying your strong you'll be fine. I am not fine. Thank you for all the real strength u ladies have I do find comfort in your words. Good luck to all of you. HUGS

Laura 

curveball

@25weeks, NanG & loriio, my bra went into the trash basket. I had two that were both pretty nearly worn out when I got diagnosed. One of them got ruined in the dryer by one of the hooks catching in a towel, and then there was one. I wore that one until the night before surgery. At that point it was completely shot, so I tossed it. So far it hasn't been replaced. I'm still wearing a camisole because it has a pocket for my drain, and haven't decided yet whether to get a "real" mastectomy bra & prosthesis once that is out or just make do with the fiberfill puff that came with the camisole. So far, I've just been winging it by wearing baggy shirts. I know I have small boobs, but this is ridiculous! If I wear a loose shirt, it isn't obvious  that one is missing.

faithhopenluv

Thinking of those in surgery today. I really appreciated nanGs story about the guy on the highwire. I read it this am before going to the drs apt to have my bandages removed. It was exactly what I needed to hear as there is still a lot of reconstruction ahead for me.



I wasn't that horrified or upset when she took the bandages off but either the thought of her taking the staples out or her messing w the drain ...or who knows...but I passed out, and literally peed myself. I felt completely fine after I woke up and had some juice. It's really not that bad. They fat graft the top part first so it's like I have muscular man boobs. My legs are still pretty bruised and swollen but feel better each day. I will have the drains til Monday tho. That's about how long I had the one for the lx so I can deal w it.



Hope everyone is doing well, those w early surgeries should be going into recovery soon. My prayers to them and their anxious loved ones

Infobabe

 laurab69

None of us is fine.  The only people who say that have not walked in our moccasins. 

loriio

Finally some good news. Just got the call from the Dr. Office that my MRI showed no new areas of concern and she saw no reason to go ahead with the SNB. I'm relieved. One less procedure to endure.



Hope today's surgeries went well.



Faithhopenluv-so sorry you had a rough time at your follow-up but im glad you're feeling better.

JenH13

Hi all,

I was a mess this am but as soon as I was out it went fine. Took 2 nodes and both clear!! Yay that was my biggest worry. Only 2 drains with the bmx since no nodes but the 2. So far these pain meds are good I don't feel a thing. And I'm really digging these leg messages wish I had one for my butt though since its numb from lying down so long.

Thank you all for prayers! So glad to be on the other side.

MMTOMH

Yay Jen! So happy for you!  I have been praying so hard for you ladies!

loriio

Yay Jen! So glad it went well. You should invent a butt massager. You'd be a billionaire!



I'm sending continued prayers for quick healing.

Lori

MMTOMH

Can someone re-post the surgery dates for the rest of the month?  Mine is 6/27--BMX with TE's, SNB and possible AND.

taismommy

JenH13, so happy it went well for you!

Any word on NanG, 25weeks, or Lisa143? Hope you ladies are having as much success as Jen!??

My turn this Friday