My husband just diagnosed with Breast Cancer

bbrooks

Hi Everyone.  I have never posted on a board like this.  My husband (age 59) has just been diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma stage 2. He was diagnosed on Thursday and having a double masectomy on may 2nd.  To say we are scared is an understatement.  I understand breast cancer isn't common among men.  They tell us we won't know if it spread or what stage his cancer is in until the surgery.  I believe it is 1.4 cm and I hope that it was caught early.  I am reading where some had chemo and others don't.  My husband (Jim) doesn't want chemo and he isn't apposed to radiation.  I am encouraged by all of the success stories and look forward to adding ours to these. Looking forward to new friends! Any advice or words of wisdom is appreciated. Betsy

voraciousreader

Betsy....I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis.  Once he has the surgery and you have the full pathology report in front of both of you, a treatment plan can be discussed.  Once active treatment is completed, the next step is finding your new normal.  Right now is the most stressful time in the process.  Hopefully, with Stage 2, he WAS caught early.  While you are waiting, check out the 2012 NCCN guidelines for breast cancer.  You can google them.  I recommend that you look at the "professional" guidelines rather than the "patient" because the"professional" gives way more information.

Good luck on your journey.

ProudMom_Wife

Hi Betsy, sorry about your husband's diagnosis. As voraciousreader wrote this is the most stressful time. Encourage your husband to be his own advocate for the best treatment plan for himself with his pathology. The NCCN guideline is definitely a great place to start. I found them very helpful and informative. When meeting with doctors be sure to ask lots of questions (write them out ahead of time is possible), keep a notebook, and tape record conversations with his doctors if possible, and try to make sure there is always some one with him at these appointments. Sometimes us patients can hear something different than what the doctor is saying or we can miss something because our minds are processing some information that they just gave us. Also, do not hesitate to get a second or third opinion for any part of the treatment plan.

This website is a wealth of information and the folks here on the forum provide great advise, insight and support.

Oh, almost forgot, before I had my BMX a friend recommended getting a good full body massage to help me relax (I was not one to go for a massage). But I decided it try it and I was pleasantly surprised.  I think it really did help me to relax before the surgery.  

1NippledBandit

This is for sure the most stressful time because so much is unknown.  The biggest question is whether it has spread to the lymph nodes or not.  I pray that it has not and you have caught it early.  That was my case.  My tumor ended up being 1.5cm when it was removed and it had not spread.  

For now... read.  I can try to answer any questions you might have.  There are a few of us men who check this site to offer support so don't hesitate to ask any questions (not to disrespect any women who can also offer advice and support - it is just a little weird being diagnosed with a "womans" cancer and it's good to hear from another man who has gone through it).

Good luck and keep us posted!

Charles_Pelkey

Hello Betsy,
I was diagnosed with this "women's cancer" last summer and went through a double mastectomy as well. I finished up with chemo in December and am slowly getting my body and my life back on track. Like "Nipple" I am more than happy to try to answer any and all questions you and your husband might have.