My precious 8 year old son!

jmf424

I had breast cancer 18 years ago when I was 29 and was just diagnosed again 2 weeks ago.  Back then, I had no real responsibilities, as I was not married and had no children.  Now I have an 8 year old son who I thought was OK with the news but tonight while laying with him at bedtime, it broke my heart the things he was saying!  I feel like I can't go on knowing the pain and fear that he is feeling!!!  I just had a port put in on Friday and it hurts like hell, still!  I have been in a foul mood for two weeks and it is all I can do to act "normal"!  I am having a hard time coming to terms with this diagnosis...again!  Thoughts or advice would be welcome!! 

jdootoo

I was just reading through the posts and came upon yours. I am sorry about what you and your son are going through, I know how hard it can be... I have 2 boys, ages 10 and 6. When I was diagnosed, I found that the more information I gave my boys, the safer they felt. We read the book "Tickles ancer-Ta nkerous Mommy" every night for at least 6 months!

One thing I found very helpful is a non-profit called Kidscope that will send to you for free a book and cd called "Kemo Shark". Their webiste is www.kidscope.org. I wish you the best, your love for eachother will help to heal your hearts.

One love, Jackie

leggo

I know how hard this is for you. I was initially diagnosed when my kids were 7 and 1. It's horrible to see the worry on their little faces. Kids love their mommies so much. The best advice I can give is to "pretend" you're o.k., even when you're not. Not easy...and I'm so sorry you have to go through this again.

leftfootforward

Every kid is different. My children were 8, 5 1/2, 2 1/2 and 3 months old when I was diagnosed.  I was honest with each one but at different levels.  I also went with my two oldest to a counselor where they were free to speak openly. they did that without me in the room and then I came in for a mediated discussion. This helped the kids a lot. One of the most important things is to do what you are comfortable with.  You kids will feed off of you.  My kids knew that I was going to be sick for about 5 days after my AC treatments but then I was normal for the next 9.  I was honest about needed quiet and space.  I did things a little differently. I allowed them to sleep on the couch with if they chose or on the floor of my bedroom. I showed them my owies if they asked.  For me being honest about how I was feeling was the best thing.  We had one honest conversation about cancer and that it could kill me with the counselor.  AFter that, we just focused on how the doctors had a plan to make me feel better and make the cancer go away. I had lots of help. I would tell yo uthat you will need help.  

It is a hard road but I found my kids to be more resiliant than I gave them credit for,

best wishes. 

jmf424

Thank you all for your kind thoughts!   It is such a comfort to know that there are people who have shared this burden!  We have seen a child psychologist and she feels that he is "appropriately" accepting this news.  He tells me he doesn't want to talk about it because it makes him feel bad.  I explained that talking about it will make it not feel as bad.  I do think the counseling will help, all of us.  And I read Kemo Shark and loved it!  Other books are also ordered!  There are so many more resources out there that were not available 18 years ago and I am so grateful!