The Spiritual Journey Into Breast Cancer: Inspirational sharing
Comments
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Beautiful JoyLiesWithin. Thank you.
When I realize I am the One, the sense of it comes to me.
When I see an unspeakable act of animal cruelty that sears my heart and makes me dispare of being on this earth another second because the hopelessness of stopping this pain is beyond me......
..........but then I see the loveliness of another human interacting with another of the same creature and I am aglow with hope and the softness of love for our fur fellows on this planet. I want to be apart. I want to be the change I think cannot happen.
But it can happen for one. Because they too are the One, those fur children of the earth.
This spiritual journey into breasst cancer makes it so easy to say, it can stop without great fanfare, but there is so much to do and I see the choices before me.... to continue to make a difference to the last second is my choice. Every second counts.
But if me leaving this planet would make all the pain for all stop, I would go in a heartbeat. If only it were so simple.
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Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength.
Ralph W. Sockman
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"" No question is unheard, and no question goes unanswered. "Ask and you shall receive" is the rule, but you must learn how to ask and how to receive....
.... in a world of five-sensory humans that understand power as external, intuitive knowledge is not regarded as knowledge, and therefore, not processed...... we can learn to develop and employ intuition.... to ask for guidance and receive it..... first... honor emotional cleansing.... second... a cleansing nutritional program .... third... honor the guidance that you receive... fourth.... allow yourself an orientation of openness toward your life and the Universe, to approach the questions in your life with a sense of faith and trust that there is a reason for all that is happening, and that that reason, at its heart, is always compassionate and good. This is an essential thought that needs to be in place in order to activate and cultivate intuition. ""
Gary Zukav, Seat of the Soul
I have always believed in the unfathomable vastness of the Universe and how it all works together. Outside of eating sugar too often, I have all this in place to the best of my ability each day. I expect miracles, believe in answers.
The other day I wondered something, was concerned about something. Then a few nights ago I had a dream that brought me to the dawn with a broken heart and no desire or belief that I even deserved to live at all, let alone choose to heal from cancer challenges.
Somewhere in the nightmare of that day, reason began to come to me, that this horrible terrible incomprehensible dream could be an answer to what I was wondering, instead of being about me or my actions. I struggle with what to do with this information, if it is that. But I believe that within my life, there are changes being called for.
No, I cannot tell the dream, I would not ever want others to be seared in their heart and mind with uncalled for images. I will work it through, but I know that my faith is what is getting me thus far.
This spiritual journey into breast cancer is about more than stopping to smell the flowers. It is an awakening of the intuition, while there is time, because that is what we are made to do and are too often too busy to even consider.
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Two saying for today.....
"Sometimes I'm just a mess." (me)
"Sometimes when you get a handle on it, the handle falls off." (Hubby)
Actually has been a good day. Why do I want to live, besides all who love me and that I love......
just for today, the answer I give is this....
I am just that tenacious to prove I can do it and on my terms.
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Right on Essa!!! That's exactly how I feel.
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And I think to myself, it's a wonderful world.....
.......if I keep my head in the sand.
Seriously.
But I could sing that song all day anyway. Music is what makes life more wonderful. I struggle to have music, amm searching for my songs and have found this one.
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Another coincidence. I have a thing about music that I hear or an artist I think of and then they turn up again within a week, often a day or two later. I have over 8,000 tracks on my iPod, some are spoken inspirational. So just before I went out the door about three hours ago it was on shuffle and Louis Armstrong, What a Wonderful World played. I've not heard it on shuffle before. Then I read the above post.
In the week I watched a lovely documentary about very elderly people who sang rather funky music in a choir. They were singing a James Brown song which featured throughout the documentary, also David Bowie, Queen and others I can't remember. So next time I had my iPod on in the car, I heard Pressure by Bowie and Queen, then later a James Brown track. I didn't even know I had any of his music so that was quite amazing.
What a wonderful world indeed.
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That is what I love about life. The surprises of Universe, the little miracles, I call them.
Once my sister and I were embaring on a vacation. Helen Reddy's 'I Am Woman' came on radio. We sang our hearts out, such joy. When it was ended, we both yelled, One more time!!! And the broadcaster said, Let's hear that one more time and played it again. Those are the little miracles that let us know we are connected.
I am here on this hill in middle of nowhere because of a medium-sized miracle, I believe.
I believe in miracles, everything connected and waiting for us to see.
Right now, on this breast cancer journey, which is a part of the journey in my life, I am waiting to see how it connects to the rest of my life, as far as the future. What do I do with what is happening in my life, how do I present myself in this world.
In the meantime, the little miracles are what keep me going. Hearing the little miracles, the Universee surprises of others is part of that transformation for me.
Thank you.
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JOY - Love IS deeply healing. I agreee with everything you said above. Love is the opposite of fear. It happens when the false self gets out of the way. I had that experience first time around. it comes from deep within.It's always there. Thanks for reminding me now, 2nd go at tests and biospy after 4 peaceful and very alive years. I love your insights.
Flannelette
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ps i am not a religious affiliate, but, in my experience, I call that place Buddha Nature - the Tathtagatagarbha, and i discovered it quite unexpectedly, about 30 years ago. At that time I thought I'd met my "guardian angel" Other people call it meeting god. but I'm an atheist! And then I discovered, through my university studies, that that Buddhists have know all about it, and written extensively on it, for about 1000 years. So for me it's Buddha Nature, and found in all sentient beings. Buddha Nature is both within and without.
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The Jeff Foster quote came from his facebook page which I'm subscribed to. He writes beautifully.
Jeff Foster (www.lifewithoutacentre.com)
Arlene, It's amazing that these things have been studied for so long. I'm following your progress on the atheist thread. I hope your results are through soon.
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I have been reading about how our cells might have evolved, first in a sea like the womb. I am using this image for meditation to heal too, that the cells in my body aare floating so calmly in a sea that is the most perfect place for them, they do not need to attempt to replicate or protect themselves, they are safe now. Yesterday Hubby and I hung the windchimes on the sunporch so I can meditate there in the morning where the birds sing and anytime when it is so hot that it is like a sauna.
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My huge black furry Newfie does not like to meditate with me in the sunporch sauna. The windchimes sing when the fan is on, granted one is not supposed to have a fan with them in the sauna, but this is a 'sauna' and I sweat just fine when the sun is through all the windows.
The journey into breast cancer has asked me to set priorities in life. The most among those, being the pressing of time.
To be clear, I have not been told I have three months to live. But from the beginning I have taken the more morose approach to this cancer thing, only in hopes that I would not waste time, though in looking back I feel I have done so. But I have not, in the end, I realize that I am preparing for more time.
Here is what I decided as I went.....
- I decided not to spend time fighting the neighbor's outside wood boiler furnace that had practically destroyed my immune system and lungs, rather to move away from it, all cost.
- I decided to dance with myself,
- howl with my dog,
- laugh at Hubby's jokes more, funny or not,
- stand and stare more often, just be,
- become more autonomous with friends, quality of time with each rather than in a group,
- spending more time with immediate family, though not as an extreme caretaker who they could not live without, more the friend and maternal guide,
- to once again attempt container gardening, then threw in a long stretch of row inground... though the wonder garden is a dismal unsuccessful event at present... and, though next year I will forget that this is not how I want to again spend my time, energy and money and will once again garden only to again recall in late-July that this is not how...... and we get the picture, don't we.
- I decided to read more, television less, focusing on the 5,000 years of cultural and medical wisdom that very well might get me out of this cancer challenge.
- I decided to find kindred spirits.
- I decided to write, this being my reason for living. And now that I have experienced memory anew, and tenaciously relearned so much I had forgotten, I am encouraged to once again write, while simplifying my passions and multiple career choices, all of which I had forgotten and relearned too, and I am now focused with intense clarity. I did not know that these kindred spirits were to be my heroes who would hold me up to my writing, encourage me, and so many from right here, who loved the little stories as I practiced linking a few sentences then more.
One of my medical heroes, Dr. Edward Bach, was told he had three months to live. He took the challenge and pressed into accomplishing all the things that he had wanted to do, then organizing all the work he had done so his legacy could be deciphered. He lived much longer than three months, by the way.
Another Bach whose quote reminded me of the Dr. Bach story is the author I enjoyed in my teens... here is quoted.....
"Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't."
Richard Bach, author of Illusions and Johnathan Livingston Seagull
Edited to add::::
This spiritual journey into breast cancer is asking me to arise at dawn, truly, so the time passage is not so swift, there is much to write and so few the hours in the day. To me, true passion renewed.
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The Blessing
As the richness of my life brings peace
To my soul,
So do I actively share this peace
With all.
Peace with those I love,
Peace with those who trouble me,
Peace with those I fear,
Peace with beings far and near.
For it is I who chain the dove of peace
Or I who let it fly.
The Essene Book of Meditations and Blessings. --Dannan Parry --
For it is I who chain the dove of peace or I who let it fly. Each moment is a choice for peace or turmoil. Let me choose peace, whether the focus is on the camera, the computer, the daughter, the physical challenges, even death. Let me choose peace.
edited for typos
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"..... know what a meaningful contribution the mind and spirit can make.... no matter how much time you think you may have to live, make the decision to live today - fully! Make the profound choices to forgive and to live. This leads to a better life and, as thousands of us believe, a longer life as well. Let this illness be your new beginning. Choose to be well this moment. A hopeful, happy future can be yours. Choose it now. It's truly the essetial thing to do when the doctor says, "It's cancer."
Greg Anderson, Cancer: 50 Essential Things to Do (epilogue)
Today I am feeling vey well and organized and content. Let me continue the good will that I awoke with this morning. Because most of he time it is just me messing up my own stuff than anything that is happening.
Choices: forgive, love, be as happy as I make up my mind to be.
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Let me choose peace, too. Wow. I messed that up a couple hours ago. Oops.
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Accept - then act.
Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.
Always work with it... This will miraculously transform your whole life.
Eckhart Tolle -
.....and acceptance is the key to all life problems today....
The Big Book, AA 1930s
A meditation for midsummer --
The morning brings a different breeze, a breath of change and newness.
That do I sense, what blurry vision flickers, tempting me?
The winds of change blow in my life, and I must now decide,
Do I unfold my sails to catch them or keep the sails furled?
My choice this season will set the course of many season's journeys.
Let meditation be my guide, let calmness lead the way.
Essene Book of Meditations and Blessings, Danaan Parry
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When I was a child looking out the window at night to the eternal sky, I knew the Universe was infinite and that was infinite to the next for some reason, who can explain when one is seven.
I explored the church for a time after that and throughout high school, then as an adult, many explorations, seeking, not connecting. I would walk through the lawn and seems the bugs and leaves and stones spoke to me more than the faith I wished and prayed for. They said in my mind, don't throw me away, or take me to the garden, or save me from the swimming pool. I never told, I just figured no one else realized this was happening, only weird me.
Then in my late thirties, piece-by-piece, through dreams and meeting people and reading and who knows, finally I realized my faith was connected to the Universe, for me. Mainly, because at last I met one of my teachers. The first thing he said to me was what I had so longed to understand and did not. I had felt strange, sensitive, disconnected, unfaithful, confused, and can I say again strange, meaning weird so weird.
His name was M an y Ho 'r *se* s, and what he shared is not original but no one had said this to me before. I was forty-one years old when the world opened to me and I knew my spiritual path. Though I still struggle against it.
"We are all relations. Not just the two-legged, but the standing (trees), the grass, the four-legged, the stone. All things of the Universe are related. We are all the same people."
Then I understood why they were talking to me even as a child. Then things really started to happen. Because I expect miracles, because I look for the unexpected, because I had to learn to trust.
Last week, I cursed Pay Pal. I made and order that did not go through as planned. I had to call the company a few days laterto check on it and probably cancel and reorder. The company owner called me back and he was Dr. Webb. He checked the order, all was well. But he changed me forever. His words gave me renewed hope, a new path and staple in the bc journey. If you need to know, just read my posts DianeEssa or MadBluebird-Essa from 8-19 and 8-20 on ellagic acid. He told me to be the woman I was, to be beautiful and strong and happy again, to keep going, he told me time is of the essence and that there is indeed hope even with cancer in the lymph nodes. Our paths crossed for a reason in that moment, I needed to hear his message.
A man of God speaking to a woman of the Universal Unity, where I realized that our Creator indeed created us to repair through the power of nature, I always knew, and I am learning each day more and more ways. The Laetrile Vitamin B-17 amygladin smart bomb and the ellagic acid with black and red raspberry of the highest quality. So much more. I am in awe.
Diane (nickname Essa) new profile name to reflect my new happy but strong nature, no apologies. Tenacious, strong, weird, funny, sings like a crow, crabby and sweet, intelligent and caring, cute and colorful. MadBluebird-Essa
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I love your new name Essa!
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Me too : ) I imagine the bluebirds and all here in Whip-poor-will Heaven trying to sleep during the day and the whip-poor-wills fly all over yelling all night, making some very mad bluebirds, hahha ha. The birds in day never make that kind of noise like the whip-poor-will, they sing and do their thing and are autonomous to the day, focused on life and survival and enjoyment, and I suppose they wonder what purpose is given for the whip-poor-will to be YELLING all night long I do not yet know. Perhaps the whip-poor-will is trying to protect the other birds at night by taking the focus of predators, or trrying to party all night, or getting back at so many birds when there is only one like them. Still the mad bluebird must remain focused and true to self. Tonight I am torn between being the bluebird or the whip-poor-will, still up and it is late. Later Joy.
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You come into this world absolutely like a plain, unwritten, open book.
You have to write your fate; there is nobody who is writing your fate.... you have to create your destiny. You have to become yourself.
You are born only as a seed - and you can die only as a seed, but you can become a flower, can become a tree.....
Your Questions Answered: Explorations for Open Minds, by Osho
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Hi, this is just the thread I need. I am looking forward to perusing this when I have a chance. Since getting BC, I've become very interested in listening to podcasts about mindfulness etc. Have discovered it has all gone somewhat mainstream. Some of my discoveries: Hollis Polk interviews, Christopher Germer mindful self-compassion, Richard Davidson and UW-Madison's Center for Investigating Healthy Minds, Dot Maver peace academy, Being Here with Ariel & Shya, Alain de Botton, Frederick Burks Transformation Team, to name a few. Shedding my shackles and walking the path of life and love
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A place to talk about death, spiritual path, life and everything in between while not editing or judging anyone for where they are. I forget to come back, but when I started the thread wanted to do a post a day for my own sake, that time to take a breath and touch the reality of not wasting life.
I have been using flower essences on acupuncture points to help peel my onion of issues and heal spiritually and emotionally. Chose Rock Rose for my terror in life... and Impatiens for the feeling of time getting away from me, that frantic feeling, have always had it.
Time IS getting away from me because I do not take time to spend time with me and the life I really want. I am out of balance in every sense. I will not recover or feel peace when out of balance.
Essene Meditation for Autumn Morning Focus
Softness fills my days
In this season of autumn light.
Gentle joy of life returning
To know its roots again.
Joyful completion
Of the outward surge of growth,
Preparing me for that to come
In the darkness before birth.
Who will l laugh with on this day,
Expecting nothing,
Sharing all?
Essene Book of Meditations and Blessings, Danaan Parry
For everything there is a season......
Anyone is welcome to share what inspires them, brings pause, or fear.
LOVEEssa
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Im not a religious person, but a spiritual person......the other night I woke from a dream....and found myself thinking of ladies on this board, as well as 2 friends of mine that are stage 4 and fighting for their lives - both mothers with very small children....and started to pray (!) I didnt know quite what to think, but just went with it. I was near tears.....I think because I had read one of my friends blogs.... Sometimes these sayings or quotes really hit home.
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Thanks Madbluebird, i needed to be reminded of the quote from the Big Book, Acceptance is the answerer to all my problems, when I am disturbed it is because i find some thing, some situation unacceptable to me I can find no serenity until I accept that person place or situation exactly the was it is suppose to be a that moment . Nothing absolutly nothing happens in Gods world by mistake. It use to be page 449 if i remember correctly.
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A few weeks ago, our daughter was driving home from work and rolled her car. I share her story in part because the reference to 'acceptance is the key to all life's problems today,' quoted from the Big Book for 12 step programs (OA, AA, NA, EA, Al-Anon, ACOA (adult children of alcoholics). It is in fact a theory for life, to accept, not an inherent 12-step program survival mechanism. We all need this acceptance. Figuring out how to accept and what, that is harder than acceptance, at least for me.
My daughter was raised on slogans like this, this too shall pass... easy does it.... the world does not revolve around... let go and let God.... first things first.... you will intuitively know.....
When she realized she had lost control of her car, she did not accept. When she realized it was going to go off the road, she let go of the wheel, went to her inner self and relaxed to flow with it. She said all these saying went through her mind, as so often they do for her. Let go... let go.... accept....
Can you imagine accepting as you are going into a three-roll accident down an embankment?
We have spoken of this at great length since that morning. Last conversation, we compared life issues. Me, breast cancer with lymph node involvement when I was trying to do something else with my life. Her and her dog in a car rolling off the road as the sun rose to a new day when she was heading home from work to sleep.
We decided that IF we could know the outcome of rolling in the car, that all would be well afterwards, we would roll in the car. It did for her, as both daughter and dog came out without a scratch, her thighs bruised from coming out from under the steering wheel to bounce around and land on the ceiling of the car. She now has a new car, better car, lesser car expenses each month. She found out who her friends are and who loves her most. She realizes what is important in her life, moreso than before. She was always good at that though. She is a strong woman too, one I admire.
How is breast cancer like rolling a car? If you have breast cancer, you know.
I decided I would rather roll in the car, with a guarantee first, of course. I would ratehr roll than to face breast cancer every morning I open my eyes. Kind of like bungee jumping, parachuting. Only I am not the adventurous type. I simply go along with the flow. If someone (angel, Creator, spirit guide) whispered in my ear as the car started to roll that it was going to be all right, I would be grateful. But there are never guarantees that the roll would go as planned.
So here we are.
Easy does it. This too shall pass.
LOVEEssa
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Everytime I am afraid, I say thank you instead. Because it does take my breath away that I have come to this place.
Love Essa
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Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot part true friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit. -
Was reading excerpts from a book by an onocologist who has been led into the spiritual path of death. Soem to read is here..... if you hover over cover, you can read an excerpt I pulled. I cannot copy paste due to Mozilla so did it this way.
LOVEEssa
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