Emotional Roller Coaster
It's been about a month since I was diagnosed with bc for a second time. This time it's spread to my L2 vertebrae. All I can think about is dying! I'm on the verge of tears constantly. I'm 39 and really thought I had beat this stupid disease. Any advice on how to get over this initial phase of devastation and sadness? Please tell me it gets better!
Thanks.
Comments
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I'm so sorry you are going thru this again. My thoughts are with you.
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Yes, it gets better. I guess a sort of acceptance creeps in and you learn how to get on with your life while having treatment. I can't remember exactly how long I cried after my cancer came back, but it was a while. Once the first treatment I was put on (Arimidex & Aredia) started to work, I began to feel better and more optimistic. Many women get a lot of years out of the hormonals. I hope you are one of them!
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I found 2 lumps in my left breast again. I am waiting for the results of a breat biopsy done on Tuesday. I am going absolutely nuts waiting. I beat this cancer once. I'm not sure if I am ready to do it again. Its been 2 1/2 years. I feel like I an going through the motions of life without any emotion. I feel like I have failed myself and everyone who loves me. Everytime the phone rings I get sick. Its just too much to go through again. Sorry to vent on someone else's page.
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I am joining in on this as I too am a cryer and I thing about the dying thing also. The advise I get is don't cry it will weaken you and you need your strength .. I know that is true . I bletch from nerves and that is what I do. I remind myself it's been now one year Passover since my reoccurrence and. I have enjoyed my year with good things. My hardest week is the week of chemo after coming off the steroids and waiting for my marker count. I have to constantly tell myself I will not let the cancer get in my mind even when my insides feel lousy. Everyone enjoy Easter or Passover. Bright colorful colors are in for the spring. Hugs and more hugs to everyone.
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