High risk and having kids?

girlguru

I'm agonizing over this right now. I'm considered high risk for breast cancer. Never been tested for the gene. Not sure I want to be tested for the gene. Not even sure my insurance would cover it. Would it be considered selfish for me to have children without investigating my risk more? I get angry at the thought of not having children because of a health situation that is totally out of my control.

 Also, my doctor recommended getting a baseline MRI before having kids or 10 years before the youngest cancer case in my family. This also aggravates me. Now I have to subject myself to a terrifying body scan in order to have children?? I'm so upset right now. I'm not even 30 yet and I feel like my whole life orbits around the possibility of having cancer I don't want to complain cause I know there are brave women fighting actual cancer right now. But this just doesn't feel like living to me, Now my breasts get to decide if I have kids or not? 

girlguru

PROS: Cancer is treatable in early stages. With careful monitoring, breast cancer can be cured. Breast cancer survivors often lead long and healthy lives. 

Prophylactic mastectomies can practically eliminate breast cancer risk altogether. It's unfair for a young woman to undergo such an invasive procedure, but it's effective.

There's a 50% chance that my cruddy genes won't pass on. There's also a small chance that my child won't get cancer despite a faulty gene.

Medicine could advance enough in the next 10-15 years to make breast cancer easier to detect and treat.

CONS:

I'd feel like I was knowingly giving cancer to my children.

Breast cancer prevention screening/surgery at a young age is stressful and upsetting.

My kids will not have the same carefree young adulthood that most low risk people have. If tested positive, they will be forced to look over their shoulder for cancer on a constant basis.

Worst case scenario--- my child could die from this horrible disease, possibly at a young age. I would feel like it was somehow my fault.

OTHER TIDBITS:

 My family history started after my mom had kids. My mom and her mom both got cancer after I was born.