Things the past year has taught me...

SelenaWolf

1. Life is too short to hold grudges, and it's never too late to apologise and mend fences.
2. There is a "perfect moment" in every day... if you only look for it.
3. You, sometimes, have more friends than you ever realized.
4. Humour- and a sense of the ridiculous can be found in even the most undignified moments.
5. Anger and stubbornness can be great motivators.

6. It's not about trying to be optimistic, but about being determined and focussed.
7. Knowledge can both empower and terrify, but it should never paralyse.
8. You are your own best advocate.

9. Losing you hair is much easier than waiting for it to grow back.
10. Your life will never, ever be the same again... and that can be a good thing if you let it.

mdg

I love this!  Thanks for posting.

I have learned a few things too in this journey...my favorite is:

Live in the moment as much as possible!

Anonymous

What a great list, Selenawolf.  I've learned many, if not all, of those this past year and a half.

Another thing I'd add to my list is that I am more at peace with life in general. 

1openheart

Love your list, SW.  In yoga class the other night, my instructor suggested that when we start to get a little uncomfortable in a pose or in our minds, that we touch it with our breath.    I liked that thought and I have been trying to do that as I encounter difficulties throughout my day.  When I do that, it immediately brings me to the present moment.

mdg....you are so right about being in the moment.  When we are truly present in the current moment, we are not worrying about the past or about what lies in the future.   

Thanks for starting this thread.  I think it will be comforting to many of us. 

barbiecorn

Wonderful thread.  I have been so scared about BC that I am not living in the moment and that is the only way...make the best of every day...today is really all any of us have...we must let go of the fear!!!  Ok, that being said, how do you put that fear behind you...Is it just too soon for me...just had BMX 6 weeks ago.

Anonymous

barbiecorn ~  "how do you get rid of the fear?".   Lots and lots of wine!!  j/k

I honestly don't know why I am unfearful.  For some reason (surprisingly to me!).. I have been fairly calm about this whole bc thing.  Time helps. Keeping busy helps. Once you are all done with surgeries helps. Having supportive friends/family/co-workers helps. Humor helps. Hearing inspiring stories of "survivors" helps. ...oh, and wine...did I mention wine.  

1openheart

Like I said on another thread after coming home from a girl friend weekend....  "Life is too short to drink bad wine."

I find that the fear comes and goes, and it is usually in the times that I let my mind move too far ahead into the future.....got to stay in the present and find gratitude for something everyday.  My rational mind knows that with my diagnosis of DCIS, my chances of remaining "cancer free" are excellent.  But, my fearful mind also knows that there are no 100% guarantees in this world.  So, that takes me to Life Lesson # 10 on Selena's list. 

miniwheat

Thanks for sharing! 

3 of the things I have learned:

1.  I always feel better after a good cry.

2.  Life happens in the moment.

3.  Letting go of fear is a great healer.

SelenaWolf

And, then, there's my mother; the worlds' most frustrating procrastinator who always quoted Scarlett O'Hara when someone asked her how she coped with surviving breast cancer, "... I'll think about it tomorrow, for - after all - tomorrow is another day..."

LuvRVing

Family...family...family! 

Charles_Pelkey

... not much you can do about the past; pretty much nothing you can do about the future, so embrace the moment.

Nice post Selena. It pretty much sums it all up.

sbaaronson

I love your list!

jwilco

Added to my favorites list so when I'm feeling down I can read again and remind myself.  Thank you!

Monika86

Hello Everyone,

 I am new to this forum, I am currently a Med student, who has been dealing with my moms diagnosis of IDC Stage 1 back in October, post lumpectomy and post radiation, my mom is peacefully on Tamox and enjoying many of the side effects it comes with. I am a country away from her and she is in Canada, and have been flying back and fourth from school to see her throughout the journey, we are and were a very close family and this whole "cancer" thing which i was used to only reading and studying in my courses and books suddenly change my life. Her next mammo and tests are in August and I will be finished my second year of med school, getting ready to go into 3rd and 4th year starting my Clinical Years. I am so scared of whats to happen, i am so scared of reoccurance and of it coming back not at stage I but worse........i guess i never thought that having aspirations of becoming a doctor my mom would be diagnosed right in the middle of my schooling, its changed my life....and im so scared sometimes in class I just feel like bursting into tears when we are looking at topics realting to cancer ( which by the way is at least everyday in every class at least 10 times) i guess i joined this chat in the hopes that I would find some solice in other women and other family members as to how they dealt with the fear and the 'unknown" my mom is such a strong lady, when we talk about it now we think "was it a bad dream" did it really happen?..........i am just scared and dont know how to handle it...i think i mite have "post traumatic stress syndrome".........typical of a med student to dx herself....

tenaj

Hi Monika, I'm so sorry you & your mom are going through this. I started this journey as my youngest daughter was graduating college from biomedical engineering. I thought I might not even be able to go to her graduation. As things turned out my surgery was after her graduation and she was there for me. Unfortunately during this she was also planning on moving out of state for her PhD, she was able to cancel her summer work & just start in the fall. It has been very difficult for her also as she is also learning about this and her natural curiosity brings her to do much research. I'm sharing this only to say that you are not alone in this type of situation. Perhaps there is a type of support group you could attend or just confide Ina friend. It is never good to let your fears sit inside, better to express them. You sound like a wonderful young lady & special daughter, I wish you & your mom the best!! Positive thinking goes a long way....