Too early for April 2012 mastectomy?

lisamarie68

Dianarose , I am okay with the squshies . I think they look funny but it's a lot more comfy than the hard TE's . I wish everyone well with the exchanges ..  

Nancy, I hear that I had one side my right full of extensive LCIS and AHD... so even though the left side had none and my nodes were clear 5/5 left side and 8/8 on right side , my breast surgeon said i made the right decision to have the mastectomy done and I have no regrets as well . it has been a journey and at times it felt really bad , but I am learning i am better off now and did the right thing for me . love and hugs

Off to babysit my amazing granddaughter ... 

Dianarose

How do a post a photo. I took a picture of my cake and tried to copy and paste but it didn't work.

rtnyc

I thought I would come back and say hello as it's been a while.  I just looked at the original list of all the April ladies and it is truely amazing just how many of us have had to go through this adventure. It's been 4/5 months since we've gone through major surgery of some sort and dealing with recovery and more procedures.  Time just goes by so fast, doesnt it. 4/5 months isn't that long ago.  I hope everyone is doing well.

keonghi

I miss you gals!  Does anyone else feel like everyone else went on with their lives and you are left looking in the mirror wondering what just happened?  I got the all clear from my tests and now await the exchange and oopherectomy (ovary removal).  I feel like all my friends and family are relieved, gone on with business as usual, and I am sitting here with someone else's body wondering what the rest of my life will be like.  I hope you all are able to feel "normal."

Take care, Kristi

rtnyc

Hi Keonghi:  I'm with you there.  As much as family and friends were concerned at the time of biospey and surgery I'm left looking in the mirror saying wow what just went on for the past 8 months.  In such a short time so much has happened, so much has changed. Our bodies, feelings, just life in general. So although we go through our daily routines, it is all different even just the way we look at the world around us.  Going through breast cancer just makes everything else less important.   I think long island mom said a while back that we all have to adjust to the new normal and she was right. It is a new normal.  For the most part I'm ok with it because I'm alive. I honestly believe that I have had the best case scenario in a horrible situation. There are times I hate it all, can't wear a bra without it hurting (although wasn't it always that way), nerve ending still regenerating and moving, scars hurt and are purple and ugly and right now have no nipples and the scars are in the shape a lollipop and sex that's a whole other topic. So what will the rest of our lives be like. I don't know but we are alive and lucky for that. My girls will still have their mom and that makes me want to get to know the new normal.   I find myself saying to myself that it could be worse, there are more people who are dealing with much more than I. That seems to make me feel better. But I also feel like I want to get involved as a way to focus on something else but still related (makes sense right) so I signed up for the American Cancer Society Making Strides walk in Central Park, NYC. I think that joining the huge community and raising funds for breast cancer will be a good thing, something pro active to do to help and give back and will hopefully help me at the same time. Although I'm not sure what the new normal is yet, still have another procedure to go through before year end but we all have to move forward and not let this horrible breast cancer get to us. Keep in touch and hope we can get to love the new normal.  xo Robbin

keonghi

Thanks Robbin.  It's comforting just knowing you and others can relate.  I will try to remind myself that it is just the new normal.  I ran into a lady at the VA (we're both veterans) and she is about to start the journey.  I gave her my number and yesterday we talked for about an hour.  It felt really good to give comfort to someone else and ease her mind a bit.  I've always heard giving back is the best thing you can do to get out of your own head.  I think I'll keep doing that and then the new normal won't be so new anymore.  Take care and please keep in touch, Kristi

longislandmom

i wrote a long response to this post.  and i lost it! ugh! so good to hear from you kristi and Robbin.  I understand everything you both are feeling.  I've mostly tried to take the summer off from breast cancer.  while people do still ask me how am i feeling-- my answer is "fine."  and mostly that's true.  i don't discuss my relentless phantom itching, or numb discomfort, etc....  I am scheduled for my exchange october 18th.  I will miss having my crew on this board to go through it with.  while there are other exchange threads...this one feels like my home.  we faced the initial shock together.  consult is october 3 to make decisions about size, materials etc.. hard for me to focus on anything these days, let alone what foobs i'm going to have for the forseable future.  and dreading surgery again. gotta run.  but wanted to check in! xxoo to all

Dianarose

Longislandmom- we will still be here for you. Those of us who are going through chemo and rads can't get our exchanges until next Spring or Summer so I hope you will be here for us as well. I too am dreading another surgery. I will finish my 4th round of chemo this morning and have 2 more rounds to go. I will be done in 56 days, not like I am counting or anything. I am not looking forward to rads again. My legs hurt most of the night. I don't know why other than the doc said I have good bone marrow so my body must be pulling it out. My White blood count has stayed in the normal range through all the chemo.

Are you done with your fills? I go today to see the PS, but she doesn't think she can go any further. Not enought skin. I will only be getting 250 implants, but I am tiny to begin with. I was reading the article where some woman are storing their nipples in their groin area until their exchange. That did not appeal to me at all. Too weird for me.

I hope everyone else is doing ok, Diana

longislandmom

Dianarose-- i am so wow'd by you and the other gals who are muscling through chemo/rads.  You are a champ!  I'll be counting the days off with you!  Sorry you ache..that sucks!!!!! 

I am done with my fills.  i only had 2 because my PS filled me up with 200cc at my initial surgery-- which is probably why i had no ROM for so long!  Having been a DDD, i am going to go through the second chapter of my life with smaller foobs!  I don't want to be bigger than @ 300cc.  I am just DONE with boobs.  I want to look good in clothing, but beyond that -- i don't care much anymore.  Re: nipples, because i had DCIS, my BS told me it would be unwise of me to keep my nipples, since that's precisely the tissue the cancer would re-occur in.   at this point, i don't even know if i'm going to have nipple reconstruction.  that would be surgery # 3-- ugh! 

anyway-- i truly do think of you and the other chemo girls often.  Praying you are done soon, start to feel good again, and that you beat the crap out BC.  xxo

rtnyc

I too find this thread to feel like home. Back in August my PS sent me away and said I wasn't healing enough, after 3 steriod shots into the boobs and a month later, healing has come a long way.  I'm ready for stage II as she says. Like longisland mom I wasn't able to keep my nipples so stage II is the reconstruction. We actually discussed not doing it at all. the PS said that alot of women say the same thing, it's kind of nice not seeing a nipple through the shirts and not having to think about it is kind of nice. I am so torn because on one hand I don't want to go through another surgery as I'm feeling pretty good and I have to admit I'm kind of nerveous not knowing just how this new nipple will look and feel. The PS did say that becuase I'm total numb there is no pain afterwards so that's a plus. Anyway, as of now I am scheduled for the procedure October 3rd or 9th (have to finalize tomorrow). So PS will reconstruct nipples, lift the left side a bit, lipo the adominal scar area on the sides (remember I had DIEP Flap) and some injection into the scar to help it heal more and then 8 weeks after this they do the tattoo.  Also feel like I have to make a fast decision becuase I need everything done by year end so insurance will cover it; hate to make decisions based on that but have to already spent way to much to have cancer... and I have my cousins wedding mid November; have to look great, fit into a gown and dance the night away!  Anyway more stuff to think about. Ok, taking an ambien and going to sleep!  talk soon xo Robbin

longislandmom

quick story--  was thinking about when i was getting my period today.  am thinking i'm due soon...so i went to feel my breasts to see if they were tender! WTF!  that's the first time i've done that.  very random.  at least it made me laugh. 

Another close friend of mine was just diagnosed with BC last week. UGH!! never ending.  i am reliving it through her.

@ RTNYC -- i am having the same thoughts re: nipples.  don't know if i'll get them.  for now..first step is implants.  october 3rd appointment for consult! 

keonghi

LOL Longislandmom!  I have reached to scratch an itch many times only to have nothing to scratch.   

On another note,  how is everyone's weight doing?  I've gained 10 pounds since the first surgery.  I'm not sure if it is a slower metabolism or just the fact that my energy level in general hasn't felt the same. 

 I miss you ladies and wish we all lived near each other to chat in person.  Maybe a reunion some day.

Take care, Kristi

rtnyc

Keonghi, i'll be in Palm Beach in February for work; how far is Palm beach from Ft. Lauderdale?

My weight is stable, I lost 8 in the hospital and 7 more the month after. Haven't lost a lb since, I go up one lbs and then down one lb. I am working a mile a half almost every day (walking home from work) with a few power walks inbetween (only on the weekends) but honestly not enough to lose. PS says I need to get to the gym, thank you PS love you too; that was after I asked if she could lipo my thighs!  In terms of gaining, it is so hard not to. I literally over the summer ate nothing and didn't keep anything in the kitchen (my daughter was away at camp) so it was easy to do that. I haven't shut my mouth since she came home in August, if I don't shut my mouth I'll gain too (those 4 chocolate cookies I just had were fantastic).  I say, do what is needed to feel good, focus on the weight when you can.

So I'm anxing about the nipps recon scheduled for Oct 3rd. Don't know what to expect, it feels like I did before the 14 hr surgery in April...ugg. Haven't slept all week since I scheduled it. Hope I sleep tonight. So on that note, good night all sweet dreams and feel good xo Robbin

Mardibra

phantom boob itch....ive got that too!

longislandmom

OMG...my foobs itch like crazy!  i try to gently slap them to ease it. ugh!  RTNYC --I have foob consult of october 3 and surgery on Oct 18th...am starting to get soo stressed again re: surgery.  I am soo not looking forward to being in any form of pain again!

rtnyc

longislandmom:  I'm with you, same.  I'm scheduled for this wednesday, Oct 3rd but I think they'll cancel cuase I ahve a chest cold not so sure I'll be totally better by Wednesday. I bet I got this cold because I'm stressed. Week prior I started to not sleep again and stress about what to do nip's or not nip's, lipo/no lipo, wanted more lift doc doesn't think so and everything else...surgery stress!!!  Do you have time for coffee or lunch Oct 3rd if I'm not having surgery??  I assume your back in the city...

aussie12

Hi all

I've got my Plastic Surgery appointment next Monday, I've decided to have an implant. I did see the PS before my surgery but he thought I might need radiation so didn't do recon then.

Here in Australia most Doctors seem to do recon months after initial surgery. I've then got my 6 month checkup on 30th october. I can't believe it's been 6 months all ready!!!

I hope that everyone is well, it's good to see that some of you are still posting as sometimes I've looked and no-one has posted for ages.

rtnyc

Hi. My surgery for stage II tomorrow was cancelled due my chest cold. Oh well, still have questions anyway,probably got the cold cause I was stressing about it. Now scheduled for next Tuesday 10/9.  Going to the PS Friday to ask more questions. I'm still stressing about the nipples. Are the new nipples really permanant headlights?  What about through a bra with ligh padding orno padding?  I hate that look and to have it all the time might put me into a deep depression. What to doooooooo.

keonghi

Hi all, I had to have an endometrial biopsy and pelvic ultrasound yesterday because I've had some abnormal bleeding. Please say a prayer that all comes back clear and it is just due to the stress. As long as nothing comes back positive, then I am set to have my ovaries taken out Oct 29th. I've decided since I don't want to take Tamoxifen then it is time to shut down the factory (ovaries). I'm happy to see some of you are already at the exchange phase. Good luck with you all!

Miss you, Kristi

Mardibra

I will be thinking b9 thoughts for you!

rtnyc

Good luck Keonghi sending only good vibes to you! Keep us posted.  I plan on having my overies out next year once I get through all this shit and actually thought about doing it now but I still get my period along iwth hot flashes and if I take them out now I'll just more of a moody bitch with emotions all over the place...as if I need more of that! So next year I guess...now jsut stressing on nipp reconstruction next week and still having second thoughts. ugg

keonghi

Thx gals!  rtnyc, good luck to you and keep us posted also.  I know what you mean about the moods.  I am 44 so I am pre but I feel like ever since the BMX my moods have been all over the place.  I'll let you know how it goes.  I heard that even if you get the O's out that you still may not hit menopause until your natural time (50's).  I'm hoping for that.

longislandmom

Hi, ladies.  RTNYC-- sorry not to respond to your last message.  saw it after I was in NYC.  it IS so stresseful to pick foobs!  I opted for saline.  The one thing i tried to impress upon my PS is that i DONT want to wake up looking like a stripper. i.e. opt on the side of small.  I think he's concerned because my breasts were so big before and he is trying to fill in some of the concaveness of my rib/chestwall area (or whatever that is).  anyway, exchange scheduled for next week. so stressed...i stopped drinking in anticipation of surgery..so all i want to do is eat cake (and drink!).  RTNYC- lets make a plan to get together in NYC.  i'm in quite a bit.  Also, re: nipples.  I don't think i'm going to get them.  As I said to my PS...nobody is going to suck them and I can't feel them...so why bother! I, too, am worried about the headlight effect and LOVE not wearing bras.   I think i'll just do tatoos, so they don't look as frankensteinian as they do now.   Keonghi-  Good luck with your biopsy.  i pray all went well and that you get a clean bill of health!!!   I'm just curious re: getting ovaries out.  were either of you BRCA +?    I can't wait until this is all over.  soon.......xxo to all

rtnyc

so funny I just had a cupcake, had to it was a breast cancer event at work today, had a pink ribbon on it and all (it was delicious)!   seriously,  spoke with PS about small the nipple cause as you know I was stressing about it, we spoke about the constructing nipps which will not protrude out to much becuase I don't want to have nippleidess all the time (her words not mine but as soon as she said that I knew she understood me)  PS last words... if you hate them we can always take them off, that's when I said "deal" lets go! So, surgery tomorrow morning at 8 am!  two little nipps, some lipo on the dog ears I am hoping she slips and does a little more on the hips, a little scar revision of some sort on the abdominal scar, a nip tuck on the boobs and some lipo under my arms as it looks like I have extra boobs under there.  I'll let you know how it goes as soon as I can, have the vicodin in hand just in case!  

Regarding overaries, we have breast and ovarian cancer in my family, so far no one is brac 1 or 2. Doc's (ovarian cancer specialist) say that we have some gene which has been discovered yet. They recommended to us that as soon as your through menopose that you take out your overies and tubes as you don't need them any longer and they serve no purpose at that point. Just some information to pass along. 

One more step closer to the finish line... xoxo   

longislandmom

good luck today!!!  thinking of you RTNYC!!

keonghi

Good luck RTNYC and LImom!  I'll keep sending some positive energy your way.  Longislandmom...I've been tested for BRCA but the VA is slow to finance so I don't know the results.  I was told by my onco that if I don't take Tamoxifen then the O removal is the best option.  Then, I have been having abnormal bleeding so if the biopsy doesn't come back clean then we are looking at full hysterectomy.  UGH!  I wish I could see the finish line like you guys.  My side boobs are the biggest pain besides my arm from the ALND.  So, glad to hear from you gals.  I haven't gone on to other groups cuz this is still home to me.

Kristi

rtnyc

Keonghi, sending you lots and lots of well wishes.  think of it this way, are you having more kids (you said you were lat 40's right)? If not then you really don't need those overies and tubs and Uterist to live a healthly happy life. Better to be lacking inside so that you can live that happy healthy live.  that's what got me through all this so far. I'm alive. Keep your chin up, cry lots and keep talking to us hey the results might come back ok and maybe you won't have to a hysterectomy

suregery was yesterday I woke up in pain but I have med's so going back to sleep. all bandaged up so cant see a thing, go back to PS tomorrow, guess I will see something then...xoxo 

longislandmom

countdown to exchange is starting.  ugh (i guess i should be excited, but i'm not).  two more days.  surgery thursday morning. 

aussie12

good luck Longislandmom

FLislander

Keonghi

I am also scheduled for ovary removal, Nov 1! Tamox was not my friend and just seemed to make sense, 40 years old... Dr trying to talk me into hysterectomy but really don't want to take out any extra parts if not necessary



Rtnyc

Had a quick question do you have to do tissue expanders for DIEP?