How do you deal with the passing of a friend?

MuddyGlasses

Hello everybody,

I'm having a really hard day today, didn't know where to turn to. Called all my friends, boyfriend, but nothing is working. I'm new to this forum, but I thought maybe reaching out to others who have gone through similar situation would help. I've gone through the entire ordeal, chemo, surgery, radiation, more surgery, tamoxifen, arimidex, sudden menopause, declared finally out of danger and in remission, was resuming my life, healing therapy, was doing really well creating some great healing drawings, was so happy with that direction, etc. 

Then came the news: a friend who was diagnosed with very aggressive cancer right after me was dying. I called his wife ON THE DAY he passed, by coincidence, to find how he was doing. She tells me he is dying. Now I'm a wreck, crying for two days, can't distance myself from it, nothing works, not the drawings, nothing. 

How do you deal with it -- it's so unfair -- I'm so lucky that I got to survive this battle, but he didn't have the same luck. And yet I can't stop crying, even as I write this message. 

Thanks for any tips -- 

ma111

Cancer is very unfair!

Crying is normal. Don't expect too much of yourself when you find out a friend has passed. It takes time to deal with things.

Whatever you do, do not blame yourself because you survived cancer so far. That is not our choice in life weather we get to survive or not and we don't have an influence on it.

Grab a pillow and have a good cry and get it out.

I will say a prayer for you this morning.

MuddyGlasses

ma111, thank you so much for the comfort. I guess I really do need to have a good ole cry. Just by reading your message, the waterfall is on again. Darn it!

ma111

Let it flow, that just means that you care very much for your friend!

Leah_S

MuddyGlasses, I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. As Ma said, the crying is the right thing to do.

Leah