Curiosity kills the cat

CherylinOhio

So I was looking for something inspiring to read. I ended up on the threads for "Not dx with mets but concerened". Oh man, wish I would not have gone there. Some poor lady had her onc tell her sister that mets was terminal. Yes it will shorten life span but it is treated like a chronic illness from what I have read elsewhere.  I am once again spiraling into depression and despair. I am less than 1 year out from dx and still am like "Why me?" "Is this really happening?"  This sux so bad!! I just took an ativan and am going to go to the gym and workout.  Stupid bc sucks!! I wish this was bad dream. I just want to quit my job and crawl into bed and wait for it to come get me. GRRRRRRR........ SO this is not an inspiring post but am hoping it may inspire others to post something that will make us feel better.

jenlee

OMG, I'm having the same thoughts and just posted a few minutes ago in the Relationships/Depression, etc. forum.  I have made the same mistake, and can't get the thoughts out of my head.  I just stopped by here to read survivor stories.  That's all I can think of that might help.  Hugs!

jennifer1

Still have the feelings with every little odd pain.  Not every day like it so what I am saying is that is does get a little better, a long process.  I do go to those forums once in awhile and totally admire the women on there but they make me feel bad while giving hope to knowing that you can survive even then.  I spent the last couple of months looking at RV's cause I want to run away, guess I think I can out pace it.  My SIL had bc 45 years ago (she is 85) no chemo, no rad, no pills just her general dr doing a mx.  I asked her how long it bothered her and she said after a few years she just didnt think of it much.  I read the survivor stories too, there are many and it helps.  By the way I think I am 3a, just lie to myself.

CherylinOhio

I hope it does get better with time. I just started back to school and bought a horse so I am hoping I can finish school and show my new guy. I guess it is all a crap shoot. They need to come up with a cure PDQ!! I have a feeling there is a drug company conspiracy out there and the all mighty dollar is the ruler.  Some days I feel pretty good, mentally, and other days, like yesterday when I started this thread, I feel like what's the point. Today is another day Scarlett and it is going to be almost 60 degree tomorrow in Ohio!! yippee with a chance of thunderstorms,yea!!

Going to see my new horse tomorrow so have to think about him, he is what I am living for now. Well my family and friends and cats too!!

jenlee

I'm fighting for and living for my daughter, but even then, I think so much about what life without a mother would be like for her. I was about to apply to law school prior to my diagnosis and as my daughter got older, hopefully practice law for non-profits such as animal/humane or environmental groups.  Now I think I should use my time differently and make the best of the time I have with her, instead of letting any classes or studying taking up time away from her, so no school for now!  I think that extraordinary stress was a contributing factor, so I need to focus on sleep, nutrition, exercise, all of which I'm doing.  Also adding some of the stress management tools that I wasn't doing as much as I should -- meditation, yoga, etc.  Then I'll know that I've done everything possible.

CherylinOhio

I think working for an animal or humane environmental group would be great!! Maybe give it a year or so and go for it!! I am probably taking on too much but it helps me stay occupied. I do not have kids only cats and now a new horse.  You have a lucky little girl!! Have fun with her!!

Anonymous

We all worry to some degree.  It does get better as time passes, and that inspiration to make the most of each day is not a bad thing. 

jenlee

ckgrayoh, the women on this board are amazing and already helped me feel so much better.  Just for today, I'm feeling a lot better.  Hope their comments are doing so for you too!