Im scared for my sister...

baseball21

I feel helpless. Don't know what to say or what to do. She's my bestfriend. Don't know why this is happening to her.

Moderators

Hi baseball21, and welcome to Breastcancer.org.

Has your sister just been diagnosed, or is she in treatment? You'll find lots of support here; let us know what you and your sister are dealing with.

The Mods

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Racy

Take your cues from your sister. Be with her when she wants you there and leave when she wants to be alone. If she asks for anything and you can do it, do it. Listen to her with understanding and be available. Go with her to appointments and treatments if she wants you to. Give her small,spontaneous, thoughtful gifts to cheer her and reassure her of your support. Offer to act as a go-between in communicating with family and friends if that would take pressure off her.



Tell her about this amazing site so she can get support and information.



Continue yourself to come here for support. If you need more personal support, seek out counselling or read books for people who have a family member with cancer.

thefuzzylemon

Hello! I'm hoping I can offer you something...

First, there isn't an answer...for "why". Please consider moving past that as soon as you can. Its just what we have to deal with...fair or not.

Just "do". Yep, she might feel really aweful and might get upset...but your unconditional love for each other doesn't change....so, just DO...keep fluids next to her and change them up. Set food by her but don't expect it to look or taste good (our senses get all screwed up). Get the mail, water the plants, walk the dog....just do....its a sucky feeling to be so sick and dependant on someone, so the less she has to ask for, the better: )

baseball21

Thanks for the advice. I live 1500 miles away from her and have 2 small children. Planning to fly there to help for two weeks. She also has two small children.

What I would love to do is just move closer so I can help more.

She is starting chemo this week, is there something I can send her?

baseball21

@ Moderators she has IDC and they just found a tumor in her liver so they cancelled her double mascetomy. Gosh I'm so scared and angry that they are taking so long. Just want her to get better. Hate that this is happening to her.

Lou10

Hi baseball 21 - so sorry for what your sister and you are going through. She's lucky to have you.

 

The chemo shopping list might be helpful for her, it was for me ... you'll find it in the topic: "More Tips (and a Shopping List) for Getting Through Chemo", in the Chemo forum. 

chilimac

Baseball21,

I'm sorry your sister is going through this.  It must be so difficult for you to be far away from her right now. 

Another poster mentioned the chemo list and I think that's a great idea.  I made my sister a care package of things I found in that list and had it ready for her first chemo.  I also helped out as much as I could whenever possible.  We are 5 minutes away so I was able to grocery shop for her and whatever else she needed.  I also was just there to listen to her and would follow her lead. 

BelaT

I am so sorry, I can imagine what you are going thro'. I am very close to my sister and she lives 900 miles from and she has two small kids and so do I. 

I wish I can tell you why but I have been asking that my self.

Help her thro' chemo and keep the kids busy and assure her with kids future.

Bela

PS hugs and hugs 

Racy

Baseball21, I am sorry for your sister's situation. Does she have a husband or family nearby? She will need practical help and maybe also help in regard to treatment decisions and ongoing care.



Do encourage her to join this site for information and support.



Try to help her set up a support system for when you aren't with her.