Foregoing treatment

AnotherUserNameToRemember

Hi,

A week or so ago, my mom learned that she has stage iv breast cancer that has metastasized in her lungs.  I just learned this today.  She has chosen to forego treatment.  She seems to be comfortable with her decision, and I respect that.  But I don’t know what it is going to mean for her, and I’m scared for her.

I asked if she has been experiencing pain, and she said not really pain, just – annoyed at how her body feels.  She said she felt pretty good a couple of weeks ago but lately is more tired.

If cancer has metastasized, what are the implications?  Sorry for being blunt, but what timeframe is she working with?

Thanks

Racy

Hi Another, sorry for your mom's situation.  I am not stage IV but from what I have learned, there is no way of giving a time frame especially if you don't know how advanced the cancer is in her lungs.

I hope that your mom's decision to forgo treatment was an informed one. 

If she truly doesn't want treatment for her cancer, she may still benefit from hospice care to help with pain and other symptoms relief.

There is a wealth of information on this site about all aspects of dealing with BC, if your mom and you would like to explore it further.

Perhaps some of the stage IV ladies will post here and be able to give you more advice.

ma111

We really can't tell you the time frame. I am sorry to learn of your mothers situation.

I opted to stop treatment in December and I am still here. I can feel my self going down hill quickly though. They have not told me a time frame, they really cannot predict it either.

If your mother is ER-, it's a faster growing cancer.

More importantly now, would be talking to her and maybe asking what she does and doesn't want at end of life so that there are no decisions to make later on when things will be real hard.

The implications depend on where the cancer is. With the lungs, it gets hard to breath. Mouth breathing, tired easiliy because of a lack of oxygen, fast breathing as if she just worked out. There are medications that could help her feel better such as narcotics. They have found that some narcotics help with the symptoms of lung mets, especially when it hurts to breath because of rib mets.

I feel that there is a difference between forgoing treatment and palliative care. Ask her if she wants the doctor to get her some meds to help her feel better. Narcotics cannot be called in, so let her know you will go pick up the script and get it filled for her. Radiation for bone mets can decrease pain to the point of lowering the pain medication needed. I love my palliative care doctor! She helps me with this kind of stuff and really cares if I am as comfortable as can be.

I will say a prayer for you and your mother and hope that she is as comfortable as can be. She is also lucky to have such a wonderful child to help her through this horrible time.

alesta29

Hi

I'm sorry your mother and your family have to deal with this and hope that it is an informed choice and that she hasn't just made it because she's scared of chemo, doesn't want to be a burden or is depressed/in shock.

While this is obviously your mom's decision, it might be worthwhile checking what the doc actually told her as, unfortunately, there are some docs out there who can come over as pretty negative and can lead the person to believe that it's not worth trying. You don't say how old your mom is but this may be a factor. Perhaps the doc said that chemo would be too harsh for her or maybe she has other medical problems which would means her QOL would be poor. There are chemos which can be more gentle. 

Docs find it difficult to give a time frame, however interestingly, a study showed that if you ask them, "Do you think my mom will still be here in X months", they tend to estimate better.  

As for the rest, just wanted to echo what Ma has said. If she decides she doesn't want treatment, there is no reason for her to be in pain and it would be good to make contact with hospice care now. 

It's so good that she has you to support her. Come back to us if you need to check out anything else. You might find it useful to post in the stage IV forum, especially if she changes her mind. 

Laurie x 

MJLToday

A good resource for metastatic patients and their families is at  http://mbcn.org/

 WIshing you and your family well.