Help me be strong for them

mglaz69

I am the daughter in law of someone who was just diagnosed with stage4 breast cancer. My husband and niece (who my mother in law raised) do not want to  know whats goingon....denial. I, have to not only prepare THEM but have to keep her spirits up through treatment. I need some input as to how  to  deal with the knowledge she may not survive, and input from stage 4 survivors.

MyMomsAdvocate

My mother was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer June '11.  I am the oldest(27) of three girls.  I have always been the strong one in my family, so with that said, I had my mother and her husband move in with me so I could take care of her as best as I could. 

It has been HARD to say the least.  It has been an emotional roller coaster and at many times I feel very alone in this fight.  My sisters do not involve themselves as much as I feel they should, and my mother's husband is somewhat immature.  I am the one who has to keep up with medications, doctor's appointments, and all the rest.  It is a very taxing process.

My advice to you is this -- DO NOT TAKE THIS ON YOURSELF!  If your husband and neice are in denial you may have to find another outlet.  Everyone deals with these situations differently.  My saving grace has been this board, but also seeing a counselor every other week.  I was referred to a death/grieving counselor by my mother's cancer center.  I suggest you to do the same as it has helped so much.  It will help you be able to take care of yourself while trying to do as much as you can for your family.  The biggest thing it has helped me learn is I am doing all I can, but the outcome is out of my hands.  

I hope your husband and neice come around.  I wish you the best with this situation.  It will get so much harder before it gets easier, but just keep pressing forward.

Hugs,

Michelle